The New Portrait Of Leadership: Yosi Amram On Which Legacy Ideas About Leadership Need To Be Discarded, And Which New Approaches To Leadership Should Be Embraced

An Interview with Karen Mangia

Integrity — Walking the talk, aligning your words and actions, thus engendering others’ trust.

We are living in the Renaissance of Work. Just like great artists know that an empty canvas can become anything, great leaders know that an entire organization — and the people inside it — can become anything, too. Master Artists and Mastering the Art of Leadership draw from the same source: creation. In this series, we’ll meet masters who are creating the future of work and painting a portrait of lasting leadership. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Yosi Amram.

Yosi Amram, Ph.D., is a distinguished psychologist, an executive coach catering to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and other influential leaders, and a pioneer researcher in the field of spiritual intelligence. Holding an MBA from Harvard University and a Ph.D. from Sofia University in Clinical Transpersonal Psychology, Dr. Amram is committed to enabling individuals to unlock their boundless potential through spiritual intelligence, which naturally arises from a profound connection to the core of one’s existence — their spirit, where inspiration and their deepest interconnectedness reside — that enriches their overall functioning, improves their effectiveness, and enhances their wellbeing.

In his role as a leadership coach, Dr. Amram has worked with more than 100 CEOs, serving as a trusted advisor and mentor for these leaders who work for a broad spectrum of businesses, from fledgling startups to large corporations. Additionally, Dr. Amram serves as a psychologist, working with individuals, couples, and groups. His proficiencies encompass executive counseling, couples therapy, addressing mental health concerns, and facilitating spiritual growth. He possesses considerable experience in dealing with matters related to gender, sexuality, grief, aging, and end-of-life issues.

In his research into spiritual intelligence, Dr. Amram pioneered the creation of the first academically validated ecumenical spiritual intelligence theory and measurement scale, along with an associated model for Spiritually Intelligent Leadership. His research has garnered over a thousand citations to date.

Dr. Amram is the author of Spiritually Intelligent Leadership: How to Inspire by Being Inspired, which offers a compelling roadmap that equips leaders with the means to connect with the true source of their authentic power and presence deep within themselves.

Prior to his roles as a psychologist and executive coaching, during a 13-year period, Dr. Amram founded and served as the CEO for Individual Inc. and Valicert, two pioneering and notable tech companies that he led through successful IPOs.

Previously, right after high school, Dr. Amram was drafted and served in the Israeli Air Force for three years, quickly moving up the ranks and holding the fastest promotion record in the history of his regiment. However, his experience in the military sparked his desire for a more compassionate and human approach to leadership, marking the beginning of his interest in this area.

In addition to his PhD from Sofia University in Clinical Transpersonal Psychology and an MBA from Harvard University, Dr. Amram received an MS in electrical engineering and computer science as well as his BS from M.I.T. He is the founder of several non-profits, including trueMASCULINITY.org and Engendering-Love.org.

Thank you for joining us. Our readers would enjoy discovering something interesting about you. What are you in the middle of right now that you’re excited about personally or professionally?

I am excited to be in the midst of the launch of my new book, Spiritually Intelligent Leadership: How to Inspire by Being Inspired, which unites three of my deepest passions: leadership, personal growth and transformation, and spiritual intelligence (SI). The book applies years of academic research on spiritual intelligence to practical situations, highlighting how it improves leadership effectiveness and satisfaction while improving one’s quality of life, personal relationships, and even marriages. It also draws on my own leadership experiences, first in the military, then as the founder and CEO of two technology companies (both of which I led through successful IPOs), and now as a leadership coach working with over 100 CEOs, many of whom have built companies with thousands of employees and revenues in the billions. Working with and watching my clients grow, I have observed how cultivating their SI has helped them tackle particular leadership, managerial, and interpersonal challenges in their business. In every case, learning to draw from their spiritual intelligence helped contribute to the triple bottom line, enhancing business productivity and profitability, employee morale and well-being, and their happiness and success.

We all get by with a little help from our friends. Who is the leader that has influenced you the most, and how?

Gandhi is the leader who has inspired me the most, particularly his tireless, relentless devotion to serving a greater cause, even when it came at a high personal cost. Furthermore, his boldness and willingness to take huge personal risks while remaining humble are truly remarkable to me. One of my favorite quotations of his is, “There comes a time when an individual becomes irresistible, and his action becomes all-pervasive in its effect. This comes when he reduces himself to zero.” While it may seem paradoxical initially, these words contain a deep truth: humility, servant leadership, and true power all go hand in hand.

Sometimes our biggest mistakes lead to our biggest discoveries. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made as a leader, and what did you discover as a result?

I have certainly made my share of mistakes. Early in my career, I sought total control over my employees, micromanaging them constantly. It was demotivating to my team, reducing their creativity and drive, and it also ultimately led to my burnout, exhaustion, and depression. As a result, I discovered the critical importance of self-care and building a strong team of people around me whom I can trust, empower, and deputize.

Another vital mistake I made early in my career was allowing myself to become consumed by my enthusiasm and overly focused on a vision of the future that was clear to me, all while losing touch with the input I was getting from my team and board. My passion and confidence transformed into arrogance as I pushed my employees into several new initiatives at a pace that needed to be more manageable, never stopping to take in their input and valid concerns. It taught me the important lesson of remaining grounded and open to feedback and not getting caught up in my ideas. Learning to stand our ground confidently while still listening to others with openness is an art form.

How has your definition of leadership changed or evolved over time? What does it mean to be a leader now?

I used to think that leadership could only ever operate from the front of an organization. Leading primarily meant running ahead of the pack, pointing out a direction as others fell in line behind.

While this image highlights one important leadership model — that of an impassioned, visionary person showing the way — I have found leading from behind to be a complementary model, even as important and powerful as leading from the front. When leading from behind, the leader takes on a facilitator role, empowering and supporting others as they find their own way. Rather than providing answers, this leader asks questions that stimulate vital conversations among their teammates, thus inviting the greater wisdom of others around them to emerge.

Success is as often as much about what we stop as what we start. What is one legacy leadership behavior you stopped because you discovered it was no longer valuable or relevant?

I used to believe in an open-door email policy, endeavoring to provide a thoughtful, personal response within 48 hours of receipt. Unfortunately, while it was a good idea in general, with an increasing volume of such emails, trying to live up to this “policy” created too much stress and quickly became impractical. These days, I find myself needing to be more discerning, having to “let go” and ignore some, or offer a simple “thanks, but no thanks” but still kind response if and when time allows.

What is one lasting leadership behavior you started or are cultivating because you believe it is valuable or relevant?

I learned how to ask important — and sometimes difficult — questions, hopefully initiating discussions that sharpen people’s thinking. I also learned to facilitate exchanges among people who hold diametrically opposing views, inviting each to hold their ground and advocate their point of view while listening to what others had to say. More often than not, new insights and powerful solutions emerged from the creative tension between the opposing viewpoints.

What advice would you offer to other leaders who are stuck in past playbooks and patterns and may be having a hard time letting go of what made them successful in the past?

I would advise leaders to unplug, step back, and take time off (perhaps in nature) to reflect on how and what they are doing while learning how to look at it with fresh eyes. I would also advise them to hire an effective coach whom they can trust and establish a good rapport. Then, they can commission this coach to conduct a 360 survey of their colleagues and team members, discussing and implementing the feedback they receive.

Many of our readers can relate to the challenge of leading people for the first time. What advice would you offer to new and emerging leaders?

My advice would be quite similar to that I’d offer more seasoned leaders: Hire a coach or find an experienced mentor to guide them. I would also urge all leaders to constantly solicit feedback from those around them, asking questions such as, “What about our working relationship works well for you?” Or, “What do you find ineffective or demotivating?” Or, “How might we support each other to reach greater heights?” These conversations might make you feel vulnerable, but they can help discover blind spots, uncover opportunities for greater effectiveness, and deepen your connection and trust with others, which are crucial elements for leadership.

Based on your experience or research, what are the top five traits effective leaders exemplify now?

Based on both my doctoral research and my coaching work with over 100 CEOs, I found the following five leadership traits to be among the most impactful:

Integrity — Walking the talk, aligning your words and actions, thus engendering others’ trust.

Trust — In yourself, in your team, and in the future you’re building.

Passion — Devotion to your purpose.

Relatedness — Fostering human connection through compassion, empathy, and care.

Inner-Directedness — Remaining centered within yourself and following your own north-star.

My new book contains case studies showing how these traits (and more) can be accessed, cultivated, and applied to help CEOs navigate difficult challenges. Below, I share one story that highlights the five I’ve selected in particular:

Stephen was an Australian-born entrepreneur and CEO in his mid-forties with a PhD in mathematics. After serving as the Chief Technology Officer of a few well-regarded Silicon Valley companies, he developed a revolutionary technology for database security at a start-up of his own. Though this technology had great promise, he was having difficulty getting his company funded. In fact, Stephen and his team of seven full-time engineers and a half dozen part-time employees had been working out of his home without salaries for over a year. He wasn’t able to pay his mortgage for over six months, and the bank was about to foreclose.

When Stephen and I met for his session, none of that was apparent to me. He sounded easy-going as he told me about a new lead on a customer who might fund the company. When I finally asked about his financial situation directly, he acknowledged that, indeed, his house was on the verge of foreclosure. Even so, he was determined not to give up. “The company is my destiny,” he declared. “It’s an expression of what’s important to my life’s purpose to help in sharing human knowledge.” He paused, took a deep breath, then continued combatively: “I refuse to be just a carbon footprint on the planet.”

I was struck by the contrast between those last two statements. When he affirmed, “This is my destiny,” he exuded relaxed confidence and radiance. I felt the love that was fueling his commitment and devotion to his cause. Meanwhile, at the thought of being a mere “carbon footprint,” he deflated, as if a terrible fate was looming over him. God forbid his existence be reduced to something so meaningless.

I suggested that he repeat his energizing statement, “I am living my destiny.” As he did, a smile spread across his face, and his breathing deepened. He told me he felt bigger than the room, as large as Palo Alto. Following our session, he wrote “I am living my destiny” on the whiteboard above his desk, where he could readily turn to it as a source of strength.

Stephen’s enthusiasm was infectious. His team of talented engineers could easily have “walked across the street” in a hungry Silicon Valley market and into high-paying positions elsewhere, but throughout it all they didn’t. I myself agreed to work with Stephen for over eighteen months for deferred pay, turning away other potential paying clients, because his passion and sense of purpose inspired me to support him. Stephen did whatever it took to keep the bank at bay and managed to continue building his company, exemplifying the words of Nietzsche, “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.”

Stephen was able to sustain his efforts — recruiting, building, and preserving his team for deferred pay — not just because of his personal sense of purpose and destiny, but because he enrolled others in a mission they found meaningful as well. For them, and for me, it wasn’t about the money. As the research shows, once basic financial needs are met, we are much more motivated by the sense of meaning our work provides.

Stephen displayed true integrity throughout his trials, acting in alignment with his soul’s calling. He also never over-promised or tried to sugarcoat the situation, which made his colleagues (and me) trust him no matter how dire the circumstances became. He embodied his trust and optimism in the future, to the point of being willing to risk his home for the vision he saw of his company he believed in. Stephen, of course, channeled plenty of passion, devoting everything he had to his new startup idea. His relatedness played a key role in helping him over the finish line with funding, as the empathy and appreciation he extended to his colleagues kept them feeling cared for and motivated while he could not pay for their salaries. Finally, his inner-directedness kept him on his course, fueling his persistence and validating the vision he was risking it all to pursue, all the while, he was encountering doubt and rejection from many ‘naysayers, including potential investors.

American Basketball Coach John Wooden said, “Make each day your masterpiece.” How do you embody that quote? We welcome a story or example.

The first words out of my mouth each morning are a reminder to myself of my highest intention, aspiration, and personal mission, which is “to awaken greater spiritual intelligence in myself and the world by embodying, expressing, and spreading greater compassion, love, joy, and peace within, without, and all around.” That is my guiding north star for every day and every moment, whether it’s the most profound, vulnerable, and gut-wrenching conversations with my clients or smaller, more mundane interactions like chatting with a cashier at the supermarket.

Throughout it all, I aim to be present, clear-minded, and open-hearted to who and what is before me, bringing more compassion, love, and joy into our exchange. Then, at the end of each day, while lying in bed, I review my “game performance,” counting my blessings, reflecting on how I showed up, contributed, connected, or messed up — grateful for all, learning from all.

What is the legacy you aspire to leave as a leader?

Through my research, writing, and coaching with other leaders, I aspire to advance our broad societal and cultural understanding and appreciation of spiritual intelligence — for it to be regarded as comparable in power to, and complementary to, emotional intelligence.

How can our readers connect with you to continue the conversation?

Readers can reach me via email on my website at yosiamram.net and/or connect with me via social media on LinkedIn.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to experience a leadership master at work. We wish you continued success and good health!

About The Interviewer: Karen Mangia is one of the most sought-after keynote speakers in the world, sharing her thought leadership with over 10,000 organizations during the course of her career. As Vice President of Customer and Market Insights at Salesforce, she helps individuals and organizations define, design and deliver the future. Discover her proven strategies to access your own success in her fourth book Success from Anywhere and by connecting with her on LinkedIn and Twitter.