Therapist Kelly Streit: I Survived A Suicide Attempt, And Here Is Why I Love Life Now

An Interview With Suicide Survivor Pirie Jones Grossman

Photo Credit Jessica Taylor Photography

You can find a career that you are passionate about. Often people do not know what to do when it comes to their career. This can be when searching for a career or one can be in a career that they are not happy with. There is always something out there for you, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You can find it and you can thrive.

Unfortunately, suicide, particularly among young people, is on the rise. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 15–24 in the US. Nearly 20% of high school students report serious thoughts of suicide, and 9% have made an attempt to end their lives, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Not all people who are suicidal appear to be outwardly upset or even depressed. Asking for help can be very difficult because of the stigma that still surrounds the notion that being depressed, anxiety-filled, or feeling less than means you’re “mentally ill” and that there’s something wrong with you.

In this interview series, we are talking to suicide survivors. We want to share the stories of people who lost sight of their worth, how they overcame it when they were given a 2nd chance to live, and how they healed! We also want to share how these survivors went from SURVIVING to THRIVING in their lives.

As a part of this interview series, I had the distinct pleasure to interview Kelly Streit.

Kelly Streit is a licensed mental health therapist, who currently sees adults with mental health concerns primarily related to anxiety disorders and childhood trauma. Kelly Streit is part of the single mom’s club and is passionate about helping others. She knows firsthand what it’s like to experience mental health struggles, in which you’ll learn more about in this interview.

Thank you for your bravery and strength in being so open with us. I personally understand how hard this is. Before we dive in, can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally?

Sure thing! I am a mental health therapist, creative writer, and mom. I enjoy helping others, being as humorous as possible and binge watching a good Netflix series.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

I am currently writing an autobiography, that speaks more about my experiences and gives education on mental health. I hope this will help eliminate the stigma associated with mental health issues. I also think it’s helpful and validating for people to know they aren’t alone in their experiences.

Separately, I also write short stories and poems. I think reading for leisure can be a good self-care activity and writing certainly can as well. This has helped me. When I publish my book, my hope is that it will help others.

Let’s now jump to the main part of our interview. Are you able to share with our readers what happened in your life that made you believe that there was no other way to end the pain you were experiencing except by taking your own life? Were you dealing with depression, bullying, substance abuse, anxiety, or other outside environmental issues, such as parents’ divorce, financial worries, loss, or rejection, that you felt like you couldn’t control?

Yes, so to sum it up, I came from a very volatile household. My father was angry a lot. He would lash out and hurt people in the household. I was often witness to this. At a very young age, I would try to stop my father by yelling “Stop-!” or calling the police. However, I could not stop this. The police did not as well. This led me to experience feelings of powerlessness, enabling me to try to get control wherever I could. This further enabled me to “lash out” in school.

This “lashing out” started in middle school and continued till my junior year of high school. This consisted of behavioral issues which led me to be a frequent visitor to the principal’s office. I was sent home a lot due to altercations with other students, teachers, and even administrative staff.

On one particular day, at the age of 14, my mother was called by the school to pick me up. I can’t recall what was the cause of the phone call this time. However, she was quite angry with me. Although I can’t remember what transpired fully in the car with me and my mother, what I do know is, I cursed at her and called her a name. This is what I would soon come to regret.

After the car ride with my mother, I went inside the house, and she went back to work. This is when the guilt took over. It felt like there was nothing I could do to fix what I had done. It felt like there was no way out. I searched for the pills that I was prescribed due to sleep difficulties and then I grabbed some over the counter pain medicine; I think it was Tylenol. I had to have taken at least 20 sleeping pills and 4 Tylenols. After I had done so, I had made the decision to call my mother and tell her.

I’m not sure why I called my mother; perhaps, I wanted her to know how sorry I was and saying so didn’t feel like enough. I know I felt hopeless and like a terrible human being. I did not think what I did would end my life, but instead I thought it would fix my mistake.

My mother’s voice was loud on the other end of the phone. She screeched that she would call me back and hung up quickly, the second I had told her what I had done.

I didn’t understand the severity of my actions, and her reaction helped instill fear in me which was followed by confusion.

Shortly thereafter, I heard a knocking on the door. It was at this point that I had become glary eyed and tired. To my surprise, I opened the door and a police officer stood in front of me. He then entered my home and sat me down. He asked me what I had done, and I told him.

While the conversation was increasing, my tiredness did as well. I tried to go to sleep while he was there, as I continuously laid my head back in the chair and closed my eyes. All the while he continued to wake me up. It would have been dangerous for me to go to sleep at that time. He let me know that I had to stay awake. As tired as I was, my fear still increased, enabling me to ask the police officer if I was going to live or die.

According to him, I had a 50/50 chance. While this reality enabled fear, with the medication I couldn’t feel the full extent of this fear. I continued to want to fall asleep and tried to do so. Then the ambulance came and took me to the hospital.

When I arrived, my brother, father, and mother were there. I was in a stretcher and given a drink by the nurse that is used to clear your system from medication/drugs that you have had too much of. It is the replacement to pumping one’s stomach. It is a dark drink with a terrible taste called charcoal. I refused to drink it but the nurse persisted, and I gave in. All and all, it was a bumpy road, that still stings a bit when I speak of it.

Truthfully though, I was lucky. All and all, my mother, the police officer, and the nurse saved my life. I would not be here, if I didn’t call my mother and if the rest didn’t happen thereafter. I am grateful for everyone who helped.

What did you want or need from your friends, family, or even yourself before you attempted to end your life?

I didn’t know what I wanted, but what I needed was love and support, as well as to feel safe. I was lacking guidance, love and belonging, which are needed for adolescents to thrive.

What did you do to get help & support before you attempted? And if you didn’t ask for help, why?

I honestly didn’t realize the extent of my actions. I wanted a solution, not to die. At that time, taking the medications felt like the only way out. I didn’t do anything to get support. I do not think that I thought that I even needed help at that time.

What signs would you tell parents, friends, or loved ones to look for in people they think may need help?

Parents, talk to your children. It’s important to find out more about their experiences. Things that may be small to you, certainly can be big to them. Don’t invalidate and dismiss feelings. Watch your environment. Is it an environment one can thrive in? If not, what can you do about that? Don’t stay for the children; leave for the children.

If I had the emotional support that I needed and if “safe” described my household, this would not have occurred.

What should they ask or do if someone they love is saying things like they don’t want to live anymore?

Find out what that means. Do they want to die? Or do they want a solution? Are they just in so much pain they want a way out or do they have a plan to end their life? Find out what triggers these thoughts and feelings. Also, make a coping plan/safety plan, to do when these triggers occur. A therapist can help with these things. The best thing to do is to reach out to a therapist. Always encourage therapy and if there is a plan, take your loved one to the emergency room immediately.

As you look back on your life now, what do you think was the biggest mistake you made before your attempt?

I was 14 years of age, so I think the biggest mistake is the people around me not meeting my emotional needs at that time. I did not have any adults in my corner, and every adolescent needs that. I also think being informed more about the dangers of taking more medication than you are supposed to should be explained to patients, adolescents particularly. I did not know the severity of my actions. I can’t help but wonder if I did know, if would I have done the same thing….

What did you do to get help & support after your attempt?

After the emergency room, I was hospitalized. The hospital was psychiatric, but not helpful; it did the opposite instead. It’s so important for one to look into where their child is going before sending them there. I encourage people when looking for any care, to look at reviews/complaints and to gain information first. I wish I could say every psychiatric hospital is great, but that’s simply not the case, as unfortunate as it is. However, the attempt scared me so much, that I did not wish to do such a thing again, and I didn’t.

What was the most helpful or healing part of your recovery?

Having a therapist in high school helped me immensely. She is the reason I became a therapist. She filled a void and allowed me a safe place, free from judgement, to explore any challenges. She helped me get to know myself better, taught me boundaries and helped me see that the things I have gone through were not my fault. I had nothing to do with my upbringing or household. She helped me build confidence and be a better me. I just needed that one person. Had I not had that, I would be a different person.

What would you tell others who may be feeling suicidal that you wish someone would have told you?

The pain you feel isn’t permanent. You can reach out and get help, even if your household/ circumstances are unbearable, even if you feel powerless; this does not have to be it.

How has your life changed? How are you doing now?

My life has changed dramatically. I have the desire to help people just like me; every day, I try my best to do so. It’s a passion in me that just continues to grow. I know what it’s like to feel pain and to help someone feel that less is beautiful. It has become my purpose.

What would you like to say to the millions of young adults between the ages of 15–25 years old? What is your message to them?

You can be whoever you want to be, and you can feel however you want to feel. It does not matter what’s happened. Your story is not over. Through the pain, you can thrive. You have value. You are meaningful. Your wants and needs are important, and you can create a beautiful life for yourself.

Based on your own experience, are you able to share five things you learned about yourself and about life because of this traumatic incident? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.

1. Your parents aren’t always right just because they are your parents. A lot of people think that if their parents say it, it must be true. This can occur even when one’s parents have said terrible things about them. The belief that they are always right can enable people to think thoughts, such as, they aren’t good enough or they are worthless, depending on their household/parents/circumstances and that is simply not true.
2. Where you are isn’t always where you will be. You can face challenges and make mistakes. However, there is always a choice. You can choose success and you can choose to heal.
3. You can find a career that you are passionate about. Often people do not know what to do when it comes to their career. This can be when searching for a career or one can be in a career that they are not happy with. There is always something out there for you, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You can find it and you can thrive.
4. If a child/adolescent is acting out, there’s usually a pretty good reason; look for it. No kid is “bad.” I don’t know how many times I have heard that kids are “bad” when they misbehave. Investigate what the need is that the child is trying to have met. Are they wanting to be heard? Are they trying to gain control because everything is just so out of control? Are they upset or angry and they don’t know how to express this? Also, what behavior could they be copying? There are times kids are being treated as adults or punished without even being talked to. If people talk to children and spend time getting to know their experiences, a lot could be different.
5. Self-harm and suicide attempts don’t always mean someone wants to die. What a lot of people don’t understand is, self-harm can actually be a coping mechanism. It can be a release. Suicide attempts can mean someone wants a way out, opposed to someone wanting to die. Support, validation and coping skills can help.

Photo Credit Jessica Taylor Photography

What are you doing now that you’re the proudest of? How are you making a difference in the world by having the gift of a second chance?

I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to help others. I can understand pain; I’ve felt it and that lights a fire inside of me and makes me a better therapist when someone in front of me is experiencing it.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I’d want to create a movement for people with childhood trauma and PTSD. I would want to eliminate stigma about PTSD and I’d further want to empower people that through the trauma, you can heal and feel whole again.

People think having PTSD means you are “crazy” and you’re going to “lash out.” People think people with PTSD are “unhinged” and even feel fearful of people with PTSD. That is because they don’t understand. While people with PTSD experience emotional dysregulation, that doesn’t mean they’re violent. Trauma-related symptoms are normal responses to abnormal events and I think if people were better educated on this and more trauma-informed, it would help make the world a better place.

How can our readers continue to follow your work online?

This is a way to reach me:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/kelly-streit-columbia-md/1045407

Thank you so much for your courage in telling your story. We greatly appreciate your time, and we wish you only continued success and good health.

About The Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!