Tiffany Williams: I Survived Cancer and Here Is How I Did It
An Interview With Savio P. Clemente
Give yourself grace. You don’t always have to be strong. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and if that means you need to spend time on the couch, then that’s where you need to be for the day.
Cancer is a horrible and terrifying disease. Yet millions of people have beaten the odds and beat cancer. Authority Magazine started a new series called “I Survived Cancer and Here Is How I Did It”. In this interview series, we are talking to cancer survivors to share their stories, in order to offer hope and provide strength to people who are being impacted by cancer today. As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tiffany Williams.
Tiffany Williams is a mother, wife, retired pediatric nurse practitioner and cancer advocate residing in Charleston, South Carolina. She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2013 and has made it her mission to improve outcomes for patients with multiple myeloma through her work as an advocate.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! We really appreciate the courage it takes to publicly share your story. Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your childhood backstory?
I grew up in Charleston, South Carolina, on one of the barrier islands called James Island, which was a more rural and very close-knit community. At age 17 I met my half-brother, but until then I was raised as an only child by my mother and my grandparents. I never felt alone. I was always surrounded by love because my grandmother’s home was the hub for our extended family. My grandmother wasn’t a trained nurse, but she cared so deeply for everyone around her. My path to becoming a nurse was probably shaped by that, the sense of community and service through example that my family instilled in me from a young age.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Two quotes really resonate best with my life and journey. “Keep the Faith” is a quote that has been relevant to me since I was a young adult and has helped sustain me during difficult times — including my diagnosis.
“It takes a village” is the second. I used to always think of it from the perspective of raising children but I found new meaning during my cancer diagnosis because my village of family and friends have helped me to survive cancer.
Do you feel comfortable sharing with us the story surrounding how you found out that you had cancer?
It all began when I started to experience back pain. I had a history of back problems and a herniated disk, so when I scheduled a doctors appointment, I figured the cause of the pain would be related to that. I was able to schedule an MRI relatively quickly and to my surprise the MRI detected lesions on my back.
My doctor did not suspect multiple myeloma, but he did suspect cancer. I was able to schedule an appointment immediately but, due to the Veteran’s Day holiday, had to wait a few days to be seen. I remember having a lot of anxiety and was consumed by the thought that cancer had spread throughout my body. When I was finally able to see the doctor is when I heard the words “multiple myeloma” for the first time, though it was still just a suspicion. The diagnosis was confirmed a few days after I was hospitalized for pain treatment.
Everything happened very fast. The doctor said it was incurable but treatable. Still, I thought I would die. It was scary and very difficult to process.
What was the scariest part of that event? What did you think was the worst thing that could happen to you?
My initial thought and the scariest part was being afraid I would die and that I wouldn’t be there for my children. I also had fear around treatment. I didn’t have a lot of experience or knowledge about cancer treatment and chemotherapy so the uncertainty of not knowing what to expect truly got to me. I remember arriving at the chemotherapy center for my first day of treatment and vomiting outside the facility — purely due to nerves.
How did you react in the short term?
At the onset, cancer and the thought of death consumed me. Then, for a while, I was just existing. I would watch the days go by until it was time to go to bed again — that went on for about eight months. One morning I looked in the bathroom mirror and didn’t recognize the person that was staring back at me. That did something to me. I said out loud: “today I choose life” and there was a shift from then on.
What coping mechanisms did you use? What did you do to cope physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?
Spiritually, my faith has gotten me through and continues to do so. Mentally, I affirm daily that I choose life. I decided to begin sharing my diagnosis with others and that has helped me own my story, which has been beneficial for my emotional state. I don’t know that I’ve found my way of coping physically yet.
Is there a particular person you are grateful towards who helped you learn to cope and heal? Can you share a story about that?
I’m blessed in that I have a strong foundation that is shaped by my mother, grandmother and the generations of women before them.
My journey with my first-born son, AJ, who was born with a rare brain malformation known as Lissencephaly, is undoubtedly what prepared me most for this battle with cancer. As AJ’s caretaker, I learned to fight for causes that were bigger than myself — whether that meant fighting for his school to provide pureed lunch, fighting against the closure of the daycare center for children with special needs in our community, or fighting for the hospital to allow visitation so he wouldn’t have to spend nights alone.
When AJ passed away seventeen years ago, at age 13, it was the most difficult thing I’ve experienced. I’m still making it through with prayer, love and tears. It has given me the fortitude to go through my own cancer journey.
Let’s take a minute to look at cancer from an embodiment perspective. If your cancer had a message for you, what do you think it would want or say?
I think it depends on the day, but if cancer were speaking to me today it would say: “You turned a scary situation into an opportunity. You’re empowered and you’re strong. You found a way to make cancer bigger than you by helping others find their strength and power to keep fighting.”
What did you learn about yourself from this very difficult experience? How has cancer shaped your worldview? What has it taught you that you might never have considered before? Can you please explain with a story or example?
Cancer has completely changed my life. I believe I am a better person, wife, mother, daughter and friend. This is not to say I wasn’t a good person before, but cancer has taught me to be fully present and attentive — more so than I was before. Today, I try to listen to my body more, laugh more, play harder and walk in my truth. Cancer really was what lead me to this discovery and the discovery of peace and purpose.
How have you used your experience to bring goodness to the world?
I boldly own my story, and I try to use opportunities to share my journey from my perspective and not allow my narrative to be told by others. I also use my career experience in healthcare, which was once centered around health disparities that affected children and adolescents, to help people who are affected by disparities in multiple myeloma. My education, career as a nurse and life experiences have prepared me to now walk in these shoes of advocacy.
What are a few of the biggest misconceptions and myths out there about fighting cancer that you would like to dispel?
The first is that cancer is a death sentence. This is something I believed as well early on, but it is not necessarily true, particularly for people living with multiple myeloma.
Another misconception is that everyone’s cancer journey is the same. I have never met two people with multiple myeloma who had the same journey and I think that is likely true for any cancer. We might share some of the same emotional stresses and challenges as well as some of the same side effects, but our journeys are all unique.
The last misconception is that all cancers can be surgically removed. The idea that someone with multiple myeloma can look good or be active, even though cancer is still present, can be confusing to people.
Based on your experiences and knowledge, what advice would you give to others who have recently been diagnosed with cancer? What are your “5 Things You Need To Beat Cancer?” Please share a story or example for each.
I think people have different definitions for what beating or surviving cancer means. The way I define surviving cancer, even though it is incurable and I am in remission, is — I’m living with it.
With that in mind, I think it starts with finding the right healthcare team; and that might mean getting a second opinion if necessary. You should feel comfortable and safe with your provider and your voice should feel elevated.
Second, ask for help. Know that people are willing to provide support, and it starts with being vulnerable. Don’t suffer in silence; as one of my favorite quotes goes “no one gets through life without pain, but suffering is optional.”
Third, advocate for yourself. Ask all your questions and don’t be afraid to be a voice for yourself.
Beyond help, I would say seek support. There are support groups available through counselors, pastors, etc. Find people who can support you emotionally through the ups and downs that you’re going to experience because that makes a difference in how you progress through the cancer journey.
Lastly, give yourself grace. You don’t always have to be strong. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and if that means you need to spend time on the couch, then that’s where you need to be for the day.
If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be?
I would inspire the “Intentionally live movement” to encourage everyone to take each day and intentionally live it to the best of your ability. Cancer has not defined me but it has gifted me the ability to appreciate quality of time over quantity. Today my fear is less around dying and more around not living while I am alive. Cancer is only one of the many causes of death and the present is all that’s really promised to anyone.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why?
Besides Michelle Obama, I would say Oprah Winfrey. She is a phenomenal woman and Super Soul Sunday is one of my favorite shows because I love to learn about the inspirational journeys of the people she interviews. If I had the opportunity to have breakfast or lunch with Oprah, I would try to encourage her to feature the stories of everyday people to help her viewers discover a deeper connection within their world.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
As of now, readers can follow me on Twitter, but stay tuned!
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
