Times are Changing: Survivors of Sexual Abuse and Assault Are Finally Being Heard and Believed
The courthouse was silent as Judge O Neil issued a minimum of 36 months in the state prison to Bill Cosby after being convicted on three counts of aggravated indecent assault. I attended both Cosby trials as a sexual assault victim advocate and writer. I connected with dozens of Cosby accusers after publishing an op ed after Cosby was arrested on December 30, 2015. For over 20 years I have been counseling people who have a history of sexual assault, childhood abuse and domestic violence. I have only met one patient who decided to press charges in a civil suit after being sexually assaulted and emotionally abused by her boyfriend. Prior to my experience of attending the Cosby trial, I felt leery about how the legal system could help my patients find justice and come to a place of peace. Most of the men and women I see report their crimes years and even decades before they started therapy. Due to the statute of limitations, most of my patients do not even have the option to press criminal charges. However, since Cosby and #Metoo more people are starting to reach out to myself and other trauma specialists sooner after the crimes occur.
Throughout the Cosby proceedings I have felt mixed about the legal system and its inability to protect survivors from victim blaming, public humiliation and re-traumatization. Times are changing. Last week I witnessed history as Bill Cosby was taken away in handcuffs after Judge O Neil sentenced him to prison. Rather than stay close minded about the legal system I think it is time for therapists and social workers who counsel abuse and assault survivors to collaborate with lawyers and state officials so we can all work together to help people come forward and report offenders.
I sat down with Stewart Ryan, the former Assistant District Attorney who prosecuted Cosby along with Kevin Steele and Kristen Feden at the District Attorney’s office for Montgomery County, Pennsylvania days after Cosby went to jail. Here is what he shared with me:
How did the Cosby case become a criminal investigation through the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania?
This case has had a very long history with Montgomery County and its place in history followed a long, winding road. The crime was first reported to law enforcement in Montgomery County in January 2005, approximately one year after the incident occurred. The survivor, Andrea Constand, first reported to police in Canada, who thought the crime occurred in Philadelphia. Canadian police sent the report to Philadelphia and when the police in Philadelphia realized Cosby’s home address — where the crime occurred — was in Cheltenham, Montgomery County, it was forward to the police there.
After an investigation that lasted only a few weeks, the then-District Attorney in Montgomery County decided not to file charges. Cheltenham police testified at trial they were still in the midst of investigating the case when the decision came down. The then-District Attorney, did, however, write in a press release that the case could be re-opened.
After that, Constand pursued a civil lawsuit against Cosby that was ultimately settled under a non-disclosure agreement rendering the outcome — and all evidence gathered during the suit — a secret. As the years passed the criminal case lay dormant. Then, in July 2015 the news media, led by the Associated Press, asked a federal judge to unseal certain documents. Knowing the contents and probably fearing the possible consequences, Cosby and his legal team fought very hard to continue keeping his secret. The judge, however, decided to unseal what the press sought, including parts of his deposition. Once it became publicly known that Cosby had made many damaging admissions during his deposition the law enforcement investigation was re-opened. After several months of investigation, Cosby was arrested in December 2015 by the Montgomery County authorities. The investigation of the case then continued even after arrest.
What advice would you give someone who has been assaulted or abused? How does the system advocate on behalf of survivors so they can feel safe during criminal proceedings?
The first piece of advice I give to any survivor is that they should only move forward with any process — criminal or civil — when they feel comfortable doing so. No one can judge another person for the time they need to come to terms with assault and abuse and everyone moves at their own pace. I always just try and listen before giving any advice. For someone who has not come forward publicly, I try and encourage them to engage with a therapist, if they haven’t already, and explain the importance of letting law enforcement do their job to protect the survivor and to protect the public from sexual predators.
The criminal justice system is designed to protect the rights of the accused, not the survivor. Though we have worked to change that, it is simply the reality of the system. That being said, the criminal justice system has many caring people involved. For example, there are advocates solely dedicated to support services for survivors and others, like police and prosecutors.
Even though I am not directly involved in the criminal justice system anymore, I do represent many survivors in civil lawsuits that begin with or involve criminal charges. Because of that I see myself as my clients’ greatest protector throughout the process. Having been a sex crimes prosecutor I know the system inside and out and I assure every client that I will be there to protect their interests and be their voice every step of the way.
What are some long-term benefits for assault survivors when they confront their perpetrator in court?
I have seen many survivors gain a sense of empowerment from confronting their attacker. Of course every survivor is different and comes to terms with their assault in their own way. I have found that many are anxious and fearful of seeing the perpetrator, let alone having to answer questions from a lawyer representing that perpetrator. I have seen many survivors become empowered by looking across a courtroom and telling the truth not just about what happened but also about the traumatic effects the assault has had on them. I think it can be cathartic to finally have that chance to say everything out loud and in pubic. Whether it’s a criminal or civil process the end goal is justice and confronting the perpetrator is an important step along the way.
But make no mistake, the individual perpetrator is not always alone in their crime and I have seen survivors confront not just their abuser but the people that allowed the abuse to occur in the first place. Institutional abuse is pervasive and occurs as a result of those in power choosing to do nothing to safeguard the most vulnerable among us. This can take the form of turning a blind eye, “passing the trash,” or intentionally failing to warn the public about known dangers. Sexual assault and the ensuing cover up is systemic, offensive and intolerable. By pursuing these cases in court a survivor gets to be a part of the solution speaking out not just against the perpetrator but anyone else that supported or allowed the abuse.
What did you think when the jury convicted Cosby on all 3 counts of aggravated indecent assault?
When I heard the jury say “guilty, guilty, guilty” I quietly said “thank you, thank you, thank you.” It wasn’t loud enough for the jury or anyone else to hear and it wasn’t meant to be. The jury had just spent weeks of their time, paying close attention to the evidence, and told the defendant and everyone else gathered for that moment that Andrea was telling the truth. It was extremely important for people to know that and hear it out loud. One of the biggest challenges for a survivor coming forward is wondering whether they will be believed. Once a jury, twelve independent strangers without biases, tells that survivor through their verdict that they are telling the truth it is extraordinarily significant. I was also hopeful that this case could stand as an example that the tired old tactics of survivor blaming and shaming will not work anymore and this jury deserves to be thanked for that. As a society we need to find ourselves in a place where survivors can feel safe telling their truth and being judged on the evidence not unfair character assassination.
How was it for you to be part of a trial that was comprised of many low blows from the defense and at times personal attacks against you and your team?
Character attack, whether it is against a survivor or someone supporting them, is nothing new. In this particular case there was a long line of baseless and outrageous attacks against everyone involved; survivors, prosecutors, police and even the judge. These claims were nothing more than a tool used to distract from what I believed was overwhelming evidence of guilt. What was most difficult was to have to sit by and read or listen to the attacks made against Andrea and the other survivors. As an experienced trial lawyer I have built a thick skin but all the survivors had been through so much and for them to have to suffer through even more made me upset. The closing arguments were especially difficult. But in those moments I also knew that we would have our chance to respond, which we did, and that the jury would respond as well and do the right thing. I hope that will continue to be the case in courtrooms across the country.
When clients question themselves for trying to prosecute a predator what do you tell them?
It is sadly not unusual for a survivor to first blame themselves, or anything else, besides their abuser. It is not unusual for a survivor to bury their feelings in the hope that it will all just go away. It won’t. I try to make sure clients understand how important it is for themselves and other people that might have future contact with the perpetrator that the truth be heard. I also try very hard to make sure clients understand that they did nothing wrong, no matter what they feel. It was not their choice to be assaulted and the perpetrator is the one who bears responsibility.
In many cases that my firm handles responsibility often rests not just with the individual perpetrator but with the institutions that permit, support, or condone sexual assault and abuse. These institutions seek to protect their reputation and brand over the safety of others. As a society we have seen it in so many forms and with so many institutions — religious institutions, schools and universities, large corporations — that the public almost seems used to it. The personal or institutional choice to remain silent, do nothing, or protect the predator often leaves the survivor feeling that much more vulnerable. I often worry that powerful people and institutions that protect sexual predators will never change unless they are exposed through the court system and feel it in their bottom line. My firm and I have been able to achieve successful results in countless cases, achieving justice for our clients, and making sure that they are heard and their future needs are met. I thinking opening myself up to clients, being vulnerable with them, and working for a firm that has such a great track record helps clients understand that they are not alone.
What do you think our society needs to do to support more survivors in coming forward and informing authorities of sexual abuse crimes?
On the one hand the answer is simple: we need to make safe spaces for survivors to speak their truth and be heard.
As a society we need to understand that sexual assault does not discriminate. A person can be targeted regardless of race, gender identity, sexual orientation, age, or appearance. We saw that throughout the Cosby case with women of every background standing up both publicly and in the courtroom. Just the same, anyone regardless of race, gender, fame, or wealth can perpetuate a sexual assault. Too often survivors in our society are left to suffer in silence and live with feelings of confusion, humiliation, and embarrassment. This hurricane of feelings often leaves survivors feeling isolated. It was an honor to be part of the first major prosecution and conviction of this kind during the extraordinary times in which we now live where it seems like survivors are finally feeling empowered enough to bring their personal stories of suffering into the light. I hope this means that we are in a place where survivors no longer have to fear coming forward with their harrowing accounts of sexual assault, abuse or harassment.
On a personal level, whether as a prosecutor or now as a civil attorney representing crime victims, I live every day in a place where someone can come talk to me about what happened and I will always help them to try and find justice and the best way to move forward. My firm, Laffey, Bucci & Kent has an unparalleled team of former prosecutors who have dedicated their entire careers to fighting for those who have been victimized in unimaginable ways. We seek justice for women, men, and children who have suffered incredible personal, emotional and psychological harm through physical and sexual abuse, bullying, hazing, and countless other incidents. We seek to hold those accountable, whether it is the abuser or the institutions that have allowed the abuse to occur. I truly hope that society is finally catching up so that no one should ever fear speaking out, standing up, or saying me too. As for whether this amazing moment in our social history can be sustained well into the future, only time will tell. But we all need to work every day to try and make sure it does.
It was such an honor to have this conversation with Stewart Ryan. Being present at both Cosby trials and connecting with the prosecutors opened my eyes to the possibility of justice. When the jury read the verdict I felt my body tensing up, my heart filling up with emotion as they repeated, “guilty, guilty, guilty,” on all three charges of aggravated indecent assault. I thought of all of my patients through the years who lost their opportunity for justice. I thought of Andrea Constand, her unbelievably devoted family and all the other Cosby accusers. I thought of my current patients and ones I will meet in the future and the possibility of seeking justice as part of their recovery.
Hours after the sentencing ended I reached out to my friends and colleagues who have been a steadfast support for me throughout the whole process. Words of hope and relief helped me shift back into a place of feeling empowered and proud of all those involved with prosecuting Cosby; the accusers, the lawyers, the sexual assault advocates. A dear friend and colleague Jane Shure, PhD left me a voicemail saying, “just feel the enormity of sometimes when people stay courageous and bear the pressure and the shame, sometimes it works. We are in a change place.”
Survivors have the right to be heard and the right to fight for justice when it is appropriate. Many in our society are finally beginning to believe survivors of assault and abuse. The victim shaming and enabling of perpetrators continues to be a major problem, but times are changing. We are beginning to call out institutions and individuals who cover up the abuse. If legal counsel, therapists and sexual assault advocates join forces assault victims are much more likely to come forward and stay sane throughout the entire process.
