You are what you eat. When I started my detox journey, I was healing my body of eczema, removing sulfur from medication out of my body, pushing out liver and gall bladder stones, eliminating maggots from my intestines and losing weight from toxin removal by being a frugivore for 3 months, that’s when I finally understood the power of food as your medicine (or poison). Anyone can regenerate their body back to life by being disciplined in their choices and prioritizing their health over indulgence. You can learn more on my YouTube channel: Life In Confidence.
Often when we refer to wellness, we assume that we are talking about physical wellbeing. But one can be physically very healthy but still be unwell, emotionally or mentally. What are the steps we can take to cultivate optimal wellness in all areas of our life; to develop Mental, Physical, Emotional, & Spiritual Wellbeing?
As a part of our series about “How We Can Cultivate Our Mental, Physical, Emotional, & Spiritual Wellbeing”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jess X Goh.
Trauma coach in childhood abuse and regenerative detox specialist. Jess X Goh is the founder of Life In Confidence. Her professional and personal experiences in overcoming abuse are your path to a successful recovery. She empowers burnt-out professionals to experience freedom by making peace with their past, reducing their anxiety and anger (drug-free), finding trust in their relationships and embracing who they are.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Not the most feel-good childhood story to tell. I was brought up in a dysfunctional family dynamic and a very confusing period of my life where I’m a first-generation Australian from a Chinese Malaysian background. There was a huge identity shift where I didn’t feel like I fit in wherever I go, I was bullied at school for my weight and race. I struggled to accept myself as a female in my family. I didn’t feel safe at home due to the domestic violence and drama that was going on with my parents and being involved to try to end the abuse. I was the eldest and felt the weight of my mum’s financial and emotional burden weighing down on me. I had to grow up very fast and learn to work hard and be tough at a very young age.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
I don’t think anyone inspired me, it was an unraveling of experiences that had to lead me to this path. It was at 29 I hit the lowest point in my life where I lost everything including my mind. It was that realization from my last coaching call with a relationship coach and just $100 left in my bank account that the penny dropped. I was living in denial and my world was crumbling down because of my own suffering. I believe pain is the pathway to one’s purpose in life.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?
I never had a healthy role model that I could turn to for success. Mum was always critical and cunning and dad was condescending and controlling. The only person I could rely on was me. It’s easy to discredit ourselves and say this person and that person helped me along the way but I wouldn’t have received their guidance or got to where I am if I didn’t muster the courage to believe in myself first.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?
I’m always making mistakes! They are inevitable because we’re human. It could be something like signing up the wrong client on my private 3-month mentorship of trauma recovery because I didn’t ask the right questions or not firing a client sooner because they struggled to be coachable as they are looking to be mothered by me. Hand holding is just not how I roll.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
A client of mine said I reminded him of this book called The Celestine Prophecy. I never heard of it until a few months later, I was having dinner with a girlfriend at her home and I noticed her book collection. I asked her if I could read The Celestine Prophecy and she said sure thing, you can have it. If you came over to my place sooner, I would have said no as I wouldn’t have finished reading the book. Since picking up the book, I couldn’t put it down, my client was right, it was a book that I would love. Each chapter revealed a theory on human behaviour on an intuitive level and how we interact with others and the earth through our energy. I can see why my client said that book reminded him of me because it’s something I place an emphasis on with my clients to self-care. Fascinating read! Highly recommend.
Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?
“If you don’t stand for anything, you fall for everything.” — Malcolm X. This quote only came to me in 2021 as I dive deeper into my own consciousness and ask myself some questions, what do I really stand for that’s true for me? Do I choose to buy into the fear of mainstream media and subject myself to what health is to them or do I think independently with what’s really going on in the world and look into what real health is for me? This moment in my life had lead me to be a regenerative detox specialist.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
I am getting back into sharing my knowledge on podcasts and interviews again as I feel that I have grown so much in my personal journey and from my work. I feel this information will make it very accessible while empowering humanity to open their mind to what’s in truth for them and how to start standing in their personal power especially when it comes to mental health and holistic wellbeing.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. In this interview series we’d like to discuss cultivating wellness habits in four areas of our lives: Mental wellness, Physical wellness, Emotional wellness, & Spiritual wellness. Let’s dive deeper into these together. Based on your research or experience, can you share with our readers three good habits that can lead to optimum mental wellness? Please share a story or example for each.
What I learned as a trauma coach is optimum mental wellness comes from curiosity, care and communication. These 3 supportive habits encourage one to explore the full depths of what’s possible in their own journey to recovery from abusive relationships.
Let’s start with healthy habit #1: Curiosity. When I speak to my clients, I can see so clearly that the reason they feel stuck and rigid in their thoughts is that they can’t see it any other way. If you keep focusing on why your mother is a negative nancy, you will forever see your mum in that light. But what if you challenge yourself to see other aspects of your mother that she’s actually quite loving and caring in her own way or she’s really got a good sense of humor about her. Start to play with curiosity to view your current situation from multiple perspectives so you can see the bigger picture.
Then you have healthy habit #2: Care. How do you engage with yourself through sense of care? A question I always ask my clients in our initial session and it’s a great checking point for me when I’m feeling off. When you feel disengaged, on what level are you disconnected? Is it that desire to spend more time with mother earth to feel more centered? Do you feel that journaling and affirmations aren’t working anymore and you find yourself getting lost in your thoughts? Do you feel numbed out from suppressed emotions that you want to hide from the world? Give yourself permission to show up for yourself and listen to what your inner child needs to feel seen, loved and heard.
Finally health habit #3: Communication. Now that you were able to connect with yourself, it’s time to put this practice into place by establishing some boundaries. Whether that be family, friends, loved ones, or with yourself. Before you have that conversation, get super clear, what basic needs do you feel were unfulfilled or broken that may have triggered you or caused upset. Make that your starting point then ask yourself, what did you need instead? As the answers start to appear, you have an internal dialogue with yourself and before you know it, you find yourself having a conversation that needs to be addressed with whomever you need to communicate your needs with to regain mental clarity and confidence in your relationships.
Do you have a specific type of meditation practice or Yoga practice that you have found helpful? We’d love to hear about it.
What works well for me is getting things off my chest by venting them out with myself. I found by harboring heavy feelings and keeping them to myself, I feel I’m holding myself back from feeling into the gratitude for life and missing out on the opportunity to learn from it. Then I can engage in beautiful practices like yoga, meditation, earthing into mother earth, rewiring with affirmations and counting my blessings.
Thank you for that. Can you share three good habits that can lead to optimum physical wellness? Please share a story or example for each.
Move Flow in physical wellness with my 3 conscious habits. 1#: Trust and listen to your body. When I was coming down with a fever from a hot summer’s day, everyone thought it was COVID and that I needed to see a doctor. I knew when I heard those responses, it was coming from a place of fear which doesn’t resonate for me. I knew I was ignoring the fever and continued to engage with a friend on a Zoom call for 3 hours that I should have canceled in hindsight because my body felt it needed to shut down and rest. I ended up breaking up that friendship because as I told my friend that I couldn’t see her for a healing session and decided to not continue a series of them by listening to my body, she was upset with my response and I could feel in my body, it was time to say goodbye to this friendship too!
2#: You are what you eat. When I started my detox journey, I was healing my body of eczema, removing sulfur from medication out of my body, pushing out liver and gall bladder stones, eliminating maggots from my intestines and losing weight from toxin removal by being a frugivore for 3 months, that’s when I finally understood the power of food as your medicine (or poison). Anyone can regenerate their body back to life by being disciplined in their choices and prioritizing their health over indulgence. You can learn more on my YouTube channel: Life In Confidence.
3#: Move in the present moment. The worst thing you can do is cause an injury to your body by overworking it with your mind. I see this happen with some of my clients where they are in fear of their injury because they are afraid it will get worse by doing nothing at all. So they overwork themselves through rigorous exercises or don’t exercise at all which makes the injury worse. What if you let go of control and trust what your body needs by attuning to what feels right for you. That could be resting, enjoying a yogi stretch or a light stroll along the beach without beating yourself up that you can’t do a dead lift or run. Appreciate the journey inward and see what that can teach you.
Do you have any particular thoughts about healthy eating?
We all know that it’s important to eat more vegetables, eat less sugar, etc. But while we know it intellectually, it’s often difficult to put it into practice and make it a part of our daily habits. In your opinion what are the main blockages that prevent us from taking the information that we all know, and integrating it into o\looo9oou9r lives? Don’t be afraid of eating fruits. There is so much misinformation that eating too many fruits causes diabetes because they contain sugar. You need to understand that there are different types of sugars and fruits are simple or mono sugars. They are full of electrolytes and act as astringents particularly melons and berries to draw out toxins from the tissues, cells, orogans and bones. The best brain food that you can ever enjoy and the beauty of fooooooruits are produced from mother earth. I choose to learn from the best, Dr Robert Morse is a teacher that I respect and I refer to. Always do your own research and question everything.
Can you share three good habits that can lead to optimum emotional wellness? Please share a story or example for each. Work your way to emotional wellness with 3 of my best supportive tools.
1#: Embrace every emotion. Your feelings are the doorway to your healing. I remember before New Year, I was bedridden and just ended 2 friendships. I was avoiding the sinking feeling of guilt because I felt so ashamed that I cut off friends that were no longer aligned with who I am even though it was the right thing to do. I gave myself full permission to feel into it and when grief comes up from closing an old chapter, I let myself cry and when a funny thought comes up, I allow myself to be in joy and just laugh. Emotions are medicine for the soul.
2#: Always ask for support. Seek guidance from someone you trust whether that be family, friends or a professional. As a trauma coach, I have to admit that it’s so easy to not get the help I need because I created this thick barrier to hold space for others but neglect myself. I avoid dumping all of my eggs in one basket and share the love around by reconnecting with my inner child, reaching out to a girlfriend to share my pain and venting it out through my own healing practice. It’s important to stop searching for love and attention through co-dependent relationships with our therapist or people we’re familiar with and start learning to trust ourselves that we do have the answers at our disposal.
3#: Focus on what’s going right in your life. I used to look at the success of certain people and thought that’s the path I need to be in my life. As soon as I got down that rabbit hole, I feel like I lost a part of myself and forgotten how to truly live my best life. When things don’t go the way I planned or expected, I put things into perspective and see what has worked for me and brought me success in my life. This has helped me to do things my way and pave my own path. What works for one person doesn’t mean it will work for you. Stay true to yourself and you will go far in life.
Do you have any particular thoughts about the power of smiling to improve emotional wellness? We’d love to hear it.
As Tony says, “Motion creates emotion.” Changing your physiology means changing your mental state and breaking your negative patterns. Great physiology, therefore, leads to great emotions, and that is one of the keys to getting unstuck. I wrote down one of my 2022 goals is to laugh out loud every day. I would find moments where I found things to laugh at because it brings so much warmth and joy to my heart. I start to notice every morning before I start my day, I can feel my cells lighting up from the inside out. I can’t wait to see who I become in a month’s time and by the end of the year!
Finally, can you share three good habits that can lead to optimum spiritual wellness? Please share a story or example for each.
Spiritual wellness feels like coming back home to the soul. I share my 3 holistic pathways for optimum spiritual wellness.
1#: Life is a never-ending journey of your spirit. We live in a world of duality more than ever before. Think of pain and pleasure, abuse and alignment, hot and cold, love and fear and so forth. Without the good, we can’t learn from the bad. Without the bad, we can’t learn to appreciate what’s good in life. We need opposing forces to support our unexpressed potential through this human experience.
2#: Value yourself so you can value your life. Take some time to reflect on what your core values in life are. As soon as you get clear what they are then you can use these values are unity points to match what aspects of your life are in alignment with you or not. For instance, 2 years I was made redundant in my corporate career. The part of me that was looking for safety and security needed a job but as I look deep inside myself, I knew it was just another job that would pay the bills but wouldn’t light me up as to why I’m showing up to work. So I decided to do something different and finally follow my heart by saying yes to my soul’s purpose. As soon as I committed, I was attracting the right clients for my work and never looked back. I value freedom over job security, purpose over paycheck and entrepreneurship over employment. You can apply this to your friendships, relationships, career, health, family, love, purpose and self-esteem. It will help you make better decisions that will serve you (and everyone) in your highest good.
3#: Choose to see the bigger picture. If you narrow your life experiences to just one perspective, you are missing out on life. When I started out in my self-discovery, I was so fixated on perceiving my situation as the victim. Always pointing out what’s wrong with my life and seeing the fault in others. What I didn’t see was how the flaws of others are mirroring back the flaws in me that I need to work on. This is the same for positive traits too, I amaze myself how I attracted this mentor, this friend or this business partnership to help me get back on track with my life. When I see life as a mirror, I remember that I am not any better or worse, I am just as human as the next person with a different set of karma and lessons that needs to be experienced.
Do you have any particular thoughts about how being “in nature” can help us to cultivate spiritual wellness?
I’m a big believer in the magic of being in nature. I noticed my business makes the most outrageous sales when I spend as much time grounding on the earth. This is because I’m in alignment with myself and a massive energetic shift has occurred within me as I feel safe and open to receive love and abundance.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be?
You never know what your idea can trigger. I would love to be interviewed by Oprah on her show and share my knowledge on trauma and holistic healing because there are so many people who are in need of this information right now.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)
I would be picking Lisa Nichols’ brain over a vegan lunch. She’s in the same industry as me and a woman of color. I admire how far she has come in her life and the impact she has created along the way!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can learn more about my work at www.lifeinconfidence.com. You can find me on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube by searching Life In Confidence.
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.