Women In Wellness: Bethany Nicole of ‘Apologies I Never Got’ On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing
An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
You Are Your Ideal Client- Do you like your content? Is it the kind of information you would like to know, is it something that would be helpful to you? One of the greatest pieces of advice I have gotten, although unfortunately after I had already started my business, is to curate your content to you. If you have been in your clients’ shoes, and have gone through what they have, then who better than to create content for them! You know their unique struggle and what information would have helped or attracted you. And even if your ideal client isn’t reflective of you, creating authentic content is one of the most magnetic things you can do. So, create content you love, that resonates with you and that makes you just want to shout it from the rooftops!
As a part of my series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Bethany Nicole.
Bethany is an LA based author, freelance writer and relationship expert. She is the founder and author of the book and brand Apologies I Never Got LLC. She is also the creator of the Written In The Stars Relationship Sessions.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
I am very much a writer at heart. I have always loved writing stories, poems, articles, whatever I could come up with. I always knew it was a skillset I had but I didn’t really know what to do with it. I grew up in a very small town in North Carolina, and I didn’t know any professional writers. I did not know any career options other than very mainstream ones. When I went to college I went against the grain and got my degree in Philosophy, so I was able to utilize my writing skills very much in that area but following graduation I went into social services. I worked with children and families in crises and became very familiar with Attachment Theory, and other relationship dynamics. Finally, after leaving that job with a solid understanding that frontline services such as that, was not my true calling, I began down a more creative path. I wrote my book and began becoming published regularly. But I knew my work was even bigger than the book. So slowly but surely, I began to see how I could combine all of my skills, passions and insights into one place. My business Apologies I Never Got LLC incorporates my one-on-one work with individuals and couples, my writings, and my passion for changing the way we look at wellness in relationships.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?
It’s maybe not as much interesting as informative, but when I first started out, I got A LOT of questions. Was I a therapist? A counselor? An astrologer? Who was I trying to be? What was my experience? It was a lot.
My Written In The Stars Relationship Sessions and my book, had people wondering what my title was, and more importantly, how they could fit me into a box. And I spent a lot of time initially explaining what I wasn’t, before I realized that I wasn’t really explaining what I was. By homing in on what my unique skillset is, how my book, brand and business can change lives and what the benefits will be, I am able to attract my clientele. People who come to my sessions are not looking for a therapist, or a counselor, or even a conventional astrologer. They come because they want the benefits my brand can offer them; however, I go about getting them there. That was a huge lesson I learned. To not focus on what we are not, but to become very clear on what we ARE. The rest will sort itself out.
Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
The biggest mistake I think I made when starting out, was trying to provide content and services that catered to everyone. I was creating what I thought people would want to hear/see/read. But as the saying goes, when you target everyone, you reach no one. Not only was my messaging too broad it was not authentic. It wasn’t coming from my heart; it was coming from a perception of what I thought people wanted. But that is one of the best things about just starting, you learn works and what doesn’t, along the way. So, I identified my ideal clients, tweaked my messaging more directly towards them, and created content that felt real and authentic to me; things that I would want to hear/see/know. Because after all, we are generally our own target audience.
Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?
Relationships are the foundation of our lives. They affect everything from how we sleep, eat, and even show up in society as a whole. Relationships often get a bad rap, they are brushed off as unimportant, or trivial. But in reality, they are one of the most important aspects of our lives.
Think about it. Have you ever been in a bad relationship? Didn’t your entire world seem to shrink, and your life overall seem more difficult and complex? That’s because relationships sit at the foundation of our well-being, when things are not going well in our personal lives, it is hard to show up in our public lives. It is difficult to be productive, creative or joyful when all of our energy is being drained into a difficult relationship.
But with a divorce rate of 50%, that says a lot of relationships are more difficult than not. Which is where I believe my work comes in. Toxic dating culture breeds shallow connections. Connections that do not stand the test of time or worldwide pandemics, as we have seen. I aim to help individuals and couples heal themselves, to help heal their relationships. I help them dive deep into what might be holding them back or blocking them, I help them work to release it, and then we get busy building the foundations of a happy, healthy love life and relationship.
I help individuals and couples create the love life they desire, built on strong foundations of true connection, communication, and compatibility. That way they can show up in their lives and loves as strong, healed and thriving individuals. I believe this is the way we can create a society filled with compassion, inspiration, passion, and yes, love.
Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.
- Be Authentic- As I shared above, when I was producing content or services that were not authentic, I felt very disconnected from my life, business, and myself. But once I stopped worrying so much about what others thought and got very real about my own authentic truth, whether it was palatable or not, whether it was necessarily what people wanted to hear or not, whether it made me popular or not, I felt so much relief. I was able to create content that really did resonate with people because it came from a truthful place. But most importantly it resonated with me because it was my truth. This is a piece of knowledge I would give to anyone because the disconnect between your image and your truth is where a lot of damage can be done and a lot of your best life lost. So, find your truth. About whom you are, how you feel and what you have to offer and share that openly and honestly. Then watch your life transform.
- Forgive- Here is what sits at the crux of my book, brand and business. It is all about the forgiveness. Resentments are one of the top things that hold us back, take us out of the present, and steal our joy. Resentment and anger are very heavy burdens to carry, I should know, I’ve walked around with them for a good portion of my life. And while forgiveness isn’t easy, it feels a lot better than carting around old resentments for years. That is why I wrote my book, to help people recognize the hard-earned truth I have discovered, that forgiveness brings us back to ourselves. It helps us let go of the past and focus on the present, on the things we can change and control, not the things we cannot. So even if all we can do today is set the intention to forgive, and begin that process, then that is one step closer to living a life we love.
- Create Meaningful Connections- Surface level connections are SO pre-pandemic. As we step back out into the world it is time for us to create deep connections, in our lives, loves and in all our relationships. Surface level friendships do not do us any good either. We need to start diving deep and connecting with each other past the social media images and picture-perfect portrayals. Because as we have seen those connections do not last long and are ultimately meaningless in our lives. So, it’s time we started getting real, with ourselves, our relationships and each other. This year is the year of meaningful connections or bust!
- Write Your Own Apologies- You know those apologies? The ones you never got? Well guess what, you never needed them in the first place…because you can write them yourself. My book, Apologies I Never Got, covers my 3 Step Apology Process, that demonstrates not only how you can write an apology to yourself from yourself, but how you can move on from the past hurts of others as well. The process allows you to begin your own healing journey, no lame apology from an even lamer ex required. So let go of the resentment, the anger and the apologies you never got, and watch how your overall sense of well being improves.
- Find Your Purpose- Who are we? Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Ok, maybe not all of those, all at once, but I think you get the idea. It is so important to explore the deeper aspects and find the deeper meaning of our lives. What is it that we are here to do? What skillsets do we possess and how can we use those for the greater good? By finding your purpose you not only create magnetism around your life, but you also encourage others to do the same. You have unique gifts, and you are supposed to share them. It is what we are meant to do. It is like puzzle pieces, we all have a place and we all fit in somewhere, and without us the picture is just no complete. So, find your purpose and live it to the fullest.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?
To write their own apologies for the ones they never got. So often in life we never receive the apologies we deserve. But that shouldn’t hold us back from living a life we love. Healing is ultimately an inside job, and the only person with the right qualifications for that job…is us. By learning how to write our own apologies both to ourselves from others, and to ourselves from, well, ourselves, we learn to let go of the past. We take accountability for our own role in situations and begin to see how we can improve our future. Even if all we learn from the situation is how to avoid a type of person moving forward or how to get out of a situation more quickly, those are valuable life lessons. Writing our own apologies gives us a chance to see how we have more control than we realize in shaping our own lives and futures. We can choose to let go of the past, to do our inner work, and realize what we can improve in the future. We have the power to create the life and love we desire, and the very first step in that process, is letting go of the past. And that is really what my book, Apologies I Never Got, is all about.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
- You Are Your Ideal Client- Do you like your content? Is it the kind of information you would like to know, is it something that would be helpful to you? One of the greatest pieces of advice I have gotten, although unfortunately after I had already started my business, is to curate your content to you. If you have been in your clients’ shoes, and have gone through what they have, then who better than to create content for them! You know their unique struggle and what information would have helped or attracted you. And even if your ideal client isn’t reflective of you, creating authentic content is one of the most magnetic things you can do. So, create content you love, that resonates with you and that makes you just want to shout it from the rooftops!
- Just Start- It’s never going to be perfect. Just start. Your packaging will change, your pricing will change, and even your business priorities might change. And that’s OK. It’s all part of the process. So just start. Start writing, start paining, start selling, just start! Prepare as much as possible, do your research and get as organized as you can, but then just go for it!
- Progress Not Perfection- When you have to pivot, celebrate that! You are learning and growing and with every step and pivot you make; your business and life just gets better and better! Even the most experienced wellness practitioners and business owners are consistently making changes and improving, so it really is about progress not perfection.
- The Only Failure Is Giving Up- If every step of progress and every pivot is considered a success, then the only true failure is giving up. When you give up it’s over. When you pivot, take a break and try again tomorrow, or get up one more time after getting knocked down, then you are succeeding. Even if you are just getting one step closer to being a better healer or a better business owner, you are still that much closer. But giving up is the only true failure because it is the end, it is the closing of the door. As long as the door is still open, there is still hope. So, if you look at it that way, it takes an immense amount of pressure off. As long as you are still going, you are succeeding, you are making progress and that’s an amazing thing.
- Trust Your Gut/Stay in Your Center- There are going to be a LOT of opinions out there. Especially if you are doing something against the grain. Which is why it is so important to stay in your own center and trust your own intuition. Especially in the healing and wellness fields, your intuition is your best friend, and it is exactly what makes you so effective. So, trust yourself and stay in your center because the most important opinion about your life and business…is yours!
Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?
We are a product of our environment as they say, and right now our environment is in chaos, so it is no wonder the collective mental health is at an all time low. With so little focus on mental health, the cycles, and patterns we see are repeating themselves in the next generations. Traditional therapy has its place, but I feel it is best served in getting people to a point of surviving, and we need more effective and less traditional methods to get them from surviving to thriving. We are multifaceted beings and stark rooms with harsh regulations and fluorescent lighting with a by the book, cookie cutter approach simply does not serve us. We are at a time when more effective, less mainstream methods are being introduced and successfully used. And I think it is time we drop the stigma around them and begin including them in our healthcare. Medications, checked boxes, and questionnaires are not getting to the root of our problems, and we need to figure out what will. I went to several traditional therapists with little to no benefit, before finding the methods that worked for me, and none of them were introduced to me in mainstream therapy. I feel it is time we expand our concepts of mental health into holistic healing. And I think we should also recognize we are living in a society that is not conducive to the human psyche. It does not follow the cycles and natural rhythms of the planet, it requires us to produce the same amount of production whether we are sick or well, and it does not consider anything other than our work output. It is a system meant for robots, not human beings. No wonder we are so stressed.
It is time we take mental health far more seriously and start treating the cause, rather than the symptoms.
What is the best way our readers can follow you online?
My website: www.bethanynicole.com
Instagram: @apologiesinevergot; @bethanynicoleauthor
Thank you for these fantastic insights!