Women In Wellness: Joy Rains On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing

An Interview With Wanda Malhotra

Trust your gut. As a young woman, I tended to trust other’s opinions more than my own, especially if that other person was older than me. But here’s the thing: no one knows what’s right for me more than I do. Rather than relinquishing my power to decide, I wish I had known to claim my power and trust my gut. And there’s an interesting fact about trusting your gut: gut feelings are valid! It’s scientifically proven that there’s really intelligence in your gut!

Today, more than ever, wellness is at the forefront of societal discussions. From mental health to physical well-being, women are making significant strides in bringing about change, introducing innovative solutions, and setting new standards. Despite facing unique challenges, they break barriers, inspire communities, and are reshaping the very definition of health and wellness. In this series called women in wellness we are talking to women doctors, nurses, nutritionists, therapists, fitness trainers, researchers, health experts, coaches, and other wellness professionals to share their stories and insights. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Joy Rains.

Joy Rains is a mindfulness speaker and author of two books on mindfulness: Meditation Illuminated: Simple Ways to Manage Your Busy Mind and Ignite Your Sales Power! Mindfulness Skills for Sales Professionals. She’s a trusted media source on mindfulness, having been quoted in publications including The Guardian, Forbes and TIME. You can find Joy’s guided meditations on Insight Timer, a popular app used by 21 million people worldwide. Visit joy online at joyrains.com.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?

Sure! Actually, it’s my backstory that led me to the practice of meditation. As far back as I can remember, I’ve grappled with anxieties. Even as a young girl, a trip to the beach led to worries. Would I be swept away by rogue ocean waves? Would I get lost on the boardwalk? Finally, after graduating college in the 1970s, I was ready to face my anxiety.

I became intrigued by the idea of meditation as a path to inner peace. I wanted to be like a yogi on a mountaintop, enraptured in a state of pure bliss. But soon, I discovered that finding inner peace was not so easy. My mind wouldn’t settle down when I meditated. My thoughts cycled in a repetitive loop.

After much practice (and much frustration), I realized that meditation was not about stopping thoughts. Rather, it was about becoming aware of them. I learned how to watch my thoughts and allow them to pass. I learned how to focus on my breath and steady my mind. I became less reactive and less stressed — and more relaxed.

After decades on this journey, I wanted to offer people the simple explanations I longed for years earlier. I enrolled in a comprehensive 18-month contemplative leadership program and in 2008, began teaching in the community and workplace. I joined The National Speaker’s Association a few years later, and I’ve been speaking and writing about mindfulness ever since.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?

Early in my speaking career, I was thrilled to be the monthly speaker at a meeting of the National Association of Professional Saleswomen. Part way into the presentation, I introduced an exercise where each person blew up a balloon and then stomped on it.

The air filled with the sounds of more than 100 bursting balloons — and the sounds of laughter — but one woman scowled and shook her head in disapproval. She was the only person I noticed. The voice in my head said, “She hates your presentation.” And of course, I believed that voice.

After my presentation, she approached me. I’ll never forget her words. She said, “I loved your presentation, but I struggled with the noise of the balloons breaking. It triggered memories of my childhood, growing up in a violent neighborhood.” Wow. Her reaction had nothing to do with me; yet, I created a story in my mind where it had everything to do with me.

Lesson learned: It’s not about me. I created a negative story around this woman’s response — a story that had more to do with my insecurities than anything else. Awareness would have enabled me to say to myself, “This woman is scowling and I don’t know why.” Instead, I reacted to a story that turned out to be false.

It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I’ve been a sales professional for most of my career, selling products to businesses and government accounts. Early on, the manager of my branch office had a beef with me, although I wasn’t exactly sure why. I had my suspicions, which I won’t get into here.

Anyway, he constantly belittled me, making snide remarks about my competency. Keep in mind, outside sales is a performance-based profession. My performance definitely suffered as a result of his bullying. My sales skidded downward.

Finally, just as I hit rock-bottom, he fired me. Ouch. I didn’t want my job to end on such a low note, so I asked his boss if I could keep my job, but in a different branch — and got the go-ahead. The change of venue (and manager) worked like a charm. My sales skyrocketed.

Lesson learned: Protect your mental well-being. Don’t let other people’s negativity affect how you feel about yourself. Trust in yourself and your abilities. You can even affirm to yourself, “No matter what anyone says, I know deep inside that I’m a valuable and worthy person.”

Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?

The benefits of mindfulness can be profound. This ancient practice helps people reduce stress, enhance well-being, cultivate compassion — and more. I focus on offering simple, accessible mindfulness techniques through the written and spoken word. I’m grateful that modern technology allows me to reach a worldwide audience and share practices with the potential to transform lives.

Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing?

Here are my top five tweaks:

1 . Spend time in nature.

Immersing yourself in nature can help you reduce stress and focus on the present moment, rather than being lost in thoughts about the past and future. For example, consider a young woman who’s distraught, since her best friend just moved away. She’s consumed by her cycling thoughts. “I can’t believe she’s moving so far way! I’ll never get to see her!”

The young woman knows it’s important to acknowledge her difficult feelings, but she doesn’t want to get overwhelmed by them. But, she also knows that by expanding her awareness beyond her feelings, she can ease the pain of her despair. And so, she drives to her favorite place for natural stress relief: a cascading waterfall.

Each time she notices she’s amplifying her feelings by imagining a lonely future, she shifts her attention to the waterfall. As she listens to the sounds of rushing water cascading over the rocks, a deep feeling of relaxation envelops her. For a short time, she even forgets herself, as if the waterfall is all that exists in her consciousness.

She’s completely aware of the present moment, rather than consumed by her anxiety about the future. Absorbed in the sensory experience of the waterfall, her full attention is on nature’s sights, sounds, textures and smells. Her anxious thoughts still exist; however, now she’s able to focus beyond them. In essence, nature is offering her a simple remedy for natural stress relief.

2 . Relax your body.

Have you ever noticed how tense your body feels when you’re stressed? This is due to the fight or flight response, an unconscious reaction. When you notice tension, you have an opportunity to make a conscious choice to release it.

For instance, imagine you’re preparing for an important work presentation. You’re under tremendous pressure from your supervisor, since a large contract is at stake. Your thoughts spin, but you can’t differentiate between mental stress and physical stress — they both seem jumbled together.

To reduce your stress, the first step is to relax your body. (People’s bodies respond to instructions more readily than their minds.) A simple way to relax is with the Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercise, which consists of a gentle tightening and releasing of each muscle group. The exercise will help you differentiate between the feeling of a tensed muscle vs. a relaxed muscle.

To practice, start by sitting or lying down. Bring all your attention to your breath as you get comfortable. Next, starting with your feet and working your way up to your head, gently tighten and release each muscle group, holding the tension for about five seconds and then completely releasing it. Be careful not to strain. If you’d like, repeat the tensing/releasing movement a second time before tending to the next muscle group. Try to notice the difference between a tensed muscle and a relaxed muscle. Once you’ve worked through your entire body, see if you can develop a muscle memory of how your body feels when it’s relaxed.

3 . Notice your stories.

Now that you’ve relaxed your body, let’s move on to your mind. Here’s a common source of mental stress: the stories people tell themselves to fill in gaps of unknown information.

For example, consider a mother waiting for her teenager to come home on a Saturday evening. He’s a half-hour past curfew and doesn’t answer his cell phone. The mother creates a story in her mind, based on the fact that she can’t reach him. She thinks, “Did he get into a car accident? He could even be in the hospital right now! Maybe I should contact the police!” She works herself into a panic with the story she’s imagined. She doesn’t know if her son got into an accident. All she knows for sure is that he’s late.

If the mother notices her story, she can say to herself, “I’m telling myself a story that may not be true. Actually, there’s a good chance it’s not true. All I know is that my son is late and I can’t reach him. The rest is conjecture.” Moments later, her son walks through the front door and says, “Sorry I’m late, Mom. I wanted to call, but my phone lost its charge.”

When you notice your stories, it gives you the opportunity to ask yourself, “Is this true? Is this useful?” While some stories are true and useful, others are simply illusions. As the old saying goes, “Don’t believe everything you think.”

4 . Get comfortable with the unknown.

Now that you’ve noticed your stories, try to release them if they’re not serving any positive purpose — and then, try to get comfortable with the unknown. Many people resist releasing their stories. They want a predictable outcome, so they imagine what’s going to happen next. And, if they’re prone to anxiety, they often imagine a negative scenario.

For instance, let’s say your doctor wants to run a diagnostic test and you think, “Yikes! I may have the condition I’m being tested for! I might miss my summer vacation!” Once you notice these thoughts, release them. Tell yourself that you’re imagining scenarios that haven’t even happened. Maybe they’ll happen in the future, but maybe they won’t. Remind yourself that you simply don’t know what will happen next.

Each time another anxious thought arises, remind yourself that you don’t know. Will I have the condition I’m being tested for? I don’t know. Will I miss my vacation? I don’t know. All you know is that your doctor wants to run tests and you’re deeply concerned. Keep your attention on what you do know, rather than on what you don’t know, to help dilute the strength of your anxieties.

Getting comfortable with the unknown can be challenging, especially if you have a busy mind. But, this way of thinking becomes more accessible with regular practice. The next time you notice you’re imagining negative stories about an unknown future, remind yourself that you don’t know — and it’s okay not to know.

5 . Cultivate compassion.

Studies show that being compassionate leads to more happiness. Compassion is the capacity to regard yourself and others with kindness. For instance, let’s say you accidentally send an email to a colleague — or a colleague accidentally sends an email to you. You think, “How stupid! Aargh!” See if you can bring a sense of kindness to yourself or to your colleague. Remind yourself that we’re all works in progress.

One way to become more compassionate is to practice this simple meditation exercise: Find a comfortable place to sit. Relax your body and focus on your breath for a few minutes.Then, imagine a time you felt compassion towards another — a loved one, a pet or even a stranger who offered you a small kindness. Spend as much time as you’d like noticing your feelings in mind and body.

Next, imagine a time when you felt compassion being directed towards you — by a loved one, a teacher, a pet or even a stranger smiling warmly. Again, spend as much time as you’d like noticing your feelings. Finally, shift your attention to your breath once again, as you focus on receiving compassion as you inhale and sending out compassion as you exhale. Any time your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the practice of sending and receiving compassion as you breathe.

Even if you’re short on time, consider pausing and taking just one breath as you focus on feelings of compassion. Learning to develop a sense of kindness doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It just takes pausing and remembering.

If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?

It’s an opportune time for a movement called “Respect Your Mother,” where Mother refers to Mother Earth — without whom, none of us would be here. Imagine a world where people could breathe cleaner air, drink cleaner water and eat fruits and vegetables grown from nutrient-rich soil. A world where people plant more trees instead of decimating rainforests.Treating our planet with compassion is the best gift we can give ourselves, our children and our children’s children.

What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?

If I only had known these five things before I started!

1. Pace yourself. Early in my career, I’d try to cram huge amounts of work into my day. I’d rush from one meeting to the next. When I discovered meditation, I learned the phrase, “Take time out from chopping the tree to sharpen the axe.” I loved that phrase! I realized that I wasn’t in a race. Pausing for lunch and even taking a short meditation break helped me become more centered and grounded — and more effective.

2. Trust your gut. As a young woman, I tended to trust other’s opinions more than my own, especially if that other person was older than me. But here’s the thing: no one knows what’s right for me more than I do. Rather than relinquishing my power to decide, I wish I had known to claim my power and trust my gut. And there’s an interesting fact about trusting your gut: gut feelings are valid! It’s scientifically proven that there’s really intelligence in your gut!

3. Be authentic. I’ll always remember what a colleague told me when we were in a leadership training session together. The session was led by an amazing teacher named Anne. My colleague, Linda, turned to me and said, “Anne is such a gifted teacher. But try as I might, I’ll never be a good Anne. I can only be a good Linda.” I loved her message. Don’t try to be just like someone else. Instead, live into your own uniqueness and be the best version of yourself.

4. Look for inspiration. When I started my career, I was fiercely independent, wanting to do everything on my own. But one thing I neglected to do was to feed my spirit and seek inspiration outside myself. Over time, I learned to turn to nature, animals, art or music — and to motivational quotes or biographies. Now, I understand the importance of developing a daily inspiration habit, even for a few minutes. Just as a fire needs tending by stoking its coals, one’s inner flame needs stoking through inspiration.

5. Tap into your imagination. Here’s a powerful technique I wish I learned earlier: You can change your results by engaging your imagination. Since the brain has neuroplasticity, or the ability to form new neural pathways, you can rewire your brain to create positive habits. Simply visualize the details of your desired outcome as if it’s already happening. Make sure what you imagine is attainable, such as visualizing eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly. For best results, try to practice every day, even for a few minutes.

Sustainability, veganism, mental health, and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?

Certainly, they’re all important, but environmental changes are closest to my heart. I believe we should all be stewards to help protect our planet; it’s the only home we have. One thing I’m particularly interested in is replenishing the tree canopy of the Earth. Planting trees in communities yields so many benefits: cleaner air, more shade, greater satisfaction with life and more. Since trees are unable to advocate on their own, it’s important that people advocate for them.

What is the best way for our readers to further follow your work online?

Readers can visit me at joyrains.com or find me on LinkedIn.

Thank you for these fantastic insights! We wish you continued success and good health.

Thank you!

About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com.