Women In Wellness: Wellness Expert Adrien Cotton On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing
An Interview With Wanda Malhotra
Everyone wants a quick fix, but doing the work leads to true and lasting success.
Today, more than ever, wellness is at the forefront of societal discussions. From mental health to physical well-being, women are making significant strides in bringing about change, introducing innovative solutions, and setting new standards. Despite facing unique challenges, they break barriers, inspire communities, and are reshaping the very definition of health and wellness. In this series called Women in Wellness, we are talking to women doctors, nurses, nutritionists, therapists, fitness trainers, researchers, health experts, coaches, and other wellness professionals to share their stories and insights. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Adrien Cotton.
ADRIEN COTTON believes the greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of wellness. She excels in shifting mindsets and helping her clients create small habits that yield lasting results. As a transformational wellness coach, speaker, and creator of MASTER Menopause NOW!, an online resource for perimenopausal and menopausal women, Adrien leverages her holistic proprietary approach to help women feel renewed well-being, strength, and confidence in their bodies and their lives.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
I am a midlife wellness expert who found my life’s work during my time as a strength and nutrition coach. I owned a successful strength training gym and would often work with women aged 40 and older who struggled to feel good in their bodies. Most were exhausted, overworked, and despite their best diet and exercise efforts, unable to lose unwanted pounds or reverse their fatigue.
At the same time, I was also in my mid-40s, the mother of twin toddlers, and, unbeknownst to me, in the throes of perimenopause. I was exhausted from the lack of rest, mostly from waking up drenched in sweat and then dealing with the 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. worry that made it impossible to return to sleep. I was constantly overwhelmed, in large part because my calendar — which I now understand reflects our core values and purpose — was designed to serve everyone but me. On top of it all, I had a belly that wouldn’t budge, despite cutting calories and regular intense cardio sweat sessions.
I worked harder and harder at reducing calories and increasing exercise, convinced this was the way to produce the results I desperately wanted. Yet the never-ending days and lack of progress left me feeling stressed and hopeless.
My epiphany and defining moment came when a friend suggested I see a menopause specialist. Within five minutes, she explained I was in “deep perimenopause.” Together, we began to build a path for my wellness.
After this revelation, I noticed similarities between my personal experience and what I was seeing my clients struggle with daily . I knew there had to be a better way for women to experience midlife, perimenopause, and menopause.
I developed my proprietary Wellness Wheel to illustrate the importance of and the interrelation among sleep, stress resilience, calendar management, movement, and food. Since then, I have used the strategies of my Wellness Wheel to help thousands of women not just survive — but thrive — during midlife.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?
One story that comes to mind is that of my client Jill, an executive who found success in most of her goals — like her professional life — through hard work and determination. (Sound familiar?) She was frustrated that her “tried and true” exercise routine was no longer working for her. Pounds began to creep on, and she couldn’t budge the scale.
Jill was overwhelmed and exhausted and found her confidence waning. What she didn’t realize was that her perimenopausal body needed different care from what she had practiced in years past. Instead, she needed a new approach to her calendar, food, sleep, stress, and exercise routine that honored her 45-year-old body.
She first wanted to focus on her exercise and knew she could commit to consistency. I suggested a strength training program tailored to her needs and schedule, yet also one incorporating movements that would “shock” her system. While she was skeptical in the beginning, she followed a consistent practice of quality, achievable, training. Along the way, she gained confidence in the program and herself.
After just a few weeks, Jill began to feel at home in her body again. She told me her new movement mindset enabled her to become the best and strongest version of herself. She learned what serious strength looks and feels like. This was the catalyst for further change. She then took on stress resilience and how she approached her calendar — her time. Her transformation was awesome to watch!
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I learned early on in my business, the hard way, that it takes several tries and uncomfortable conversations to gain a deep understanding of what blocks people from achieving true and lasting wellness. Some women think they are ready for change, yet it can be hard to let go of old stories and beliefs that we’ve carried around for decades.
I aim for total vulnerability in my work. When someone is not ready to take a deeper look into what is holding them back, then we adjust and either take a break or simplify their plan. We can often over-complicate matters and expect a client to embrace a new concept too quickly. Breaking old habits and patterns is difficult, and I’ve learned to allow the client to lead their progress. We both need to trust the process. Giving them space to move through each step at their own pace, and celebrating the small wins, is when success happens.
Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?
Our generation of women, between 45 and 65, have the opportunity to change the narrative about aging and how to achieve lasting wellness. We first must eliminate the guilt, shame, and silence associated with perimenopause and menopause. Every woman will experience menopause. Changing the mindset for future generations will allow them to embrace midlife as a time of growth,contentment, and pervasive strength.
We have the power to shift cultural conventional wisdom that menopause is a time to slow down, that weight gain is inevitable, that sex will be painful, that sleep problems are part of life, that mood changes are normal, and that the only way to achieve society’s ideal weight is by cutting calories and exercising excessively. Our wellness is so much more; it may not include HIIT classes or the latest cleanse. We need to change the collective mindset toward self-care and what it means to be productive.
I firmly believe we can change the way the next generation of women perceive their aging. They can learn from programs like mine that it doesn’t have to be that hard; that it may mean redefining wellness, and that our bodies do so much to help us pursue our purpose so it is time to give back to them what they give us.
Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better well-being?
- Take your sleep seriously.
Many people are chronically tired. Women in perimenopause and menopause can certainly relate to this, as it is one of the top symptoms. Sleep provides an opportunity for our bodies to repair from and process the events of the day. It is the ultimate recharge and detox, and provides the clarity, energy, and calm we need to get through each day. With ample and quality sleep, we are more inclined to exercise, choose fueling foods, and cultivate tools to help us respond instead of react to inevitable stressors.
2. Tame your stress.
The implications of chronic and unfettered stress can be debilitating and can lead to a variety of illnesses and numbing mechanisms. I get it. I was in my 40s, raising my twin toddlers and running my own business, and I was so stressed, busy, and frazzled. I found it hard to regulate my emotions. I was in a constant state of overwhelm. It is possible to build stress resilience and find a better way to cope with stress, but it takes a conscious effort and a new mindset.
3. Change your mindset about food.
If we want to change, we have to embrace wanting something different. Food, at its most essential, is fuel, and somehow we have strayed far from that understanding. Nourishing our bodies is a good thing.
The key to changing our mindset about food is keeping our food guideposts simple. First we need to change our relationship with food to one that appreciates it for the fuel it provides. We need to recognize that food, focused on minimally processed nutrient-dense whole foods, is essential to fueling our bodies. Second, it is imperative to embrace a new approach to food — one that recognizes its importance yet doesn’t lead to undue worry and obsession. . Finally, we need to stop the guilt that comes with diet culture.
4. Embrace strength as a way of life.
Movement is crucial to achieving our wellness goals. Not only is it critical to maintaining functional strength and balance, it is also vital for the brain. As with food, we need to change our mindset about what constitutes quality movement. We don’t need to do sweaty bootcamps, marathons, or flip tires to achieve the ideal fitness. Instead, it can be as simple as taking a daily walk and incorporating functional strength training at least three times a week.
Effective strength training can be accomplished in as little as ten to fifteen minutes. The days of the hour-long sweaty class being an indicator of a “good” workout are over. Instead we need to build up our bodies muscle, bones and resilience with strength. I firmly believe the stronger we become physically, the stronger we becomeemotionally and spiritually. They go together.
5. Boundary your time for wellness.
Our wellness is worthy of dedicated time. Each week we should block off our own time for wellness, before everyone else’s demands fill up our schedules. Like our exercise, this doesn’t need to take up huge spans of time. Plan short walks around the office or apartment, work in some mindful breathing at a red light, or dedicate ten minutes to investigating new recipes.
It can be tempting to give away our time to make our families, our friends, our bosses, our colleagues, and everyone else happy, but working for everyone else will eventually lead us to feel depleted and spent. Your time matters. Use it wisely…for your wellness.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most wellness to the most people, what would that be?
It would be showing people that everything they need to make the changes they want resides within themselves. It’s not found on Instagram or in that new fitness craze or in some magic pill. It’s all about their mindset. We have been sold a lot of stories over our lifetimes that need to be questioned. If we change the way we think about our wellness, we’ll change our course and reach our goals.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
- Everyone wants a quick fix, but doing the work leads to true and lasting success.
As Robert Frost wrote, “The best way out is always through.” The only way to climb a mountain is to climb it, one step at a time. The only way to paint a masterpiece is to create it, one brush stroke at a time. Often people want to cut through the efforts to attain the goal, but goals attained that way often falter. The only way to harness continual success is to LEARN through the process of getting there — that means through the success and the failures. The efforts become part of our mindset and our toolbox and that’s what will sustain us through the challenges ahead.
2. Small changes made each day will lead to big changes over time.
It’s that simple and that hard. The more we can ease into change and make it part of our daily routines and habits, the more successful the change will be. It’s easy in that change can happen in a slow and manageable way. It’s hard in that we have to wait to see the results and resist the temptation to steamroll our way there. Any change worth achieving is going to have some difficulties and take time.
3. If what you have to share changes one person, you have succeeded.
One of my clients, Melissa, believed that stress was inevitable. She wanted to improve her wellness, but was unwilling to move away from her long-held beliefs about stress. I showed her how her stress was affecting every corner of her life. Most importantly, she learned that changes had to begin with a conscious focus on her stress. For example, after we created strategies for Melissa to incorporate into her morning and evening routines, we began to see beautiful changes not only in her ability to be resilient in the face of stress, yet also her sleep, her exercise and her food choices.
Her new mindset has brought her to the understanding that stress resilience is something to be developed and nurtured, one small habit at a time. Today, she recognizes how stress affects everything from sleep, food choices, the motivation to move, and how she interacts with her family and friends.
Helping Melissa foster more peace and calm in her life was incredibly rewarding.
4. Prioritize your well-being.
You can see from Jill and Melissa’s stories that once they prioritized their own wellness, they began to see the results that had once eluded them. All of my clients are over 40 and in the midst of many responsibilities like raising children, managing careers, and often caring for aging parents. They are in the busiest times of their lives and often schedule their care last.
I’ll say it again, your wellness is worthy of time on your calendar.
5. Laugh more!
Enough said.
Sustainability, veganism, mental health, and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?
As a midlife wellness expert, one of the causes that is closest to my heart is mental health. There are four menopausal symptoms, known as the Core Four, that doctors recognize the most: 1) insomnia, 2) hot flashes, 3) vaginal dryness, and 4) depression.
Declining levels of estrogen lead women to perimenopause and, eventually, menopause. Estrogen isn’t just found in the reproductive organs, it’s also found in the heart, bones, muscles, and brain. The estrogen in the brain affects serotonin, the feel-good hormone. When estrogen drops, so does serotonin. This will lead to changes in mood, irritability, and anxiety. If a woman experiences a big dip in both hormones, this could lead to depression.
I want women to know they don’t have to suffer through sadness and depression and to understand it is not their fault, but a natural hormonal process that may be causing them to feel this way. This is why prioritizing our own health is so important. We need to make room for moving, eating regular meals, prioritizing our sleep, and scheduling ourselves first on our calendar. It means talking to our doctor if we find ourselves with unrelenting sadness or unmanageable anxiety. It may also mean finding a professional to help us cope emotionally and mentally if we are struggling to do it ourselves.
I want women to understand that prioritizing our own needs is not selfish, but necessary. It is in our nature to want to care endlessly for our loved ones, but that cannot happen if we don’t take care of ourselves first. Midlife doesn’t have to be the end of something, it can be the beginning of something even better. We are resilient, and we can thrive during midlife.
What is the best way for our readers to further follow your work online?
Thanks for asking! Your readers can find me at www.adriencotton.com. I’m also active on LinkedIn at Adrien Cotton, on Instagram @adrienmcotton, and Facebook @Adrien Cotton.
Thank you for these fantastic insights! We wish you continued success and good health.
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
