Workplace Conflict Resolution: Karen Brown of Exponential Results On How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts

An Interview With Eric Pines

Look Inside: Practice introspection: It’s up to each team member to think through and identify their contribution to the conflict and own it.

An important component of leadership is conflict resolution. Why is conflict resolution so important? How can leaders effectively incorporate conflict resolution into their work culture? In this interview series called “Workplace Conflict Resolution: How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts,” we are talking to business leaders who can share insights and anecdotes from their experience about how to implement Conflict Resolution at work. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Karen Brown.

Karen Brown is the Founder and CEO of Exponential Results. She draws on 25 years of success as a corporate executive with over 20,000 hours of senior executive coaching experience. Years ago, Ms. Brown discovered the key to greater performance and effectiveness: identifying and addressing blind spots — the repeated thinking patterns that impede success. Using a professional coach and science-based methodologies of how our minds work, she busted through her own blind spots to achieve astounding results. Her discovery led to the creation of Exponential Results’ proprietary Power Pathways™ method, based in neuroscience.

Ms. Brown is also a focused athlete, having competed as an amateur in the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii, and numerous ultramarathon and triathlon events around the world. Ms. Brown is the author of Unlimiting Your Beliefs: 7 Keys to Greater Success in Your Personal and Professional Life (Morgan James Publish, 2018), endorsed by best-selling author and speaker Brian Tracy. Ms. Brown has a B.S. in Applied Management from National American University, ICF Executive Leadership Coaching Certification, Master Practitioner of NLP and Behavioral Patterns from Association for Integrative Psychology.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I am the founder and CEO of Exponential Results, a company that uses the principles of neuroscience to make leaders more effective and maximize their potential. I have 25 years of success as a corporate executive with over 20,000 hours of senior executive coaching experience. Years ago, I discovered the key to greater performance and effectiveness: identifying and addressing blind spots — the repeated thinking patterns that impede success. My discovery led to the creation of Exponential Results’ proprietary Power Pathways™ method, rooted in neuroscience. I am also an international-level, ultra-endurance athlete, having completed the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii; several Ultraman competitions; and 17 other ultramarathon and triathlon events around the world.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

Since my life is so interesting, I have two stories to share!

Crossing the finish line at the Ironman World Championships (IMWC) at age 46 was a massive milestone for me. Amazingly, this was a mere two years after I began to pursue this dream (without ever having run a marathon before). Without exaggeration, the IMWC was one of the most life-changing endeavors I have ever undertaken. For the majority of my life, I had been a recreational athlete; I enjoyed physical activity but was not overly competitive. What compelled me to undertake the Ironman was a feeling deep inside that I might have what it takes to achieve remarkable things but might not be tapping into that potential.

The interesting part was finding out that if I dedicated myself to something — really dedicated my whole being to it — there was nothing I couldn’t accomplish. This discovery has translated to virtually all parts of my personal and professional life. What’s more, I realized that every one of us has this capacity to achieve greatness if we just dig deep and access it.

The other was starting my own business as a female minority. Having learned about neuroscience and behavioral patterns (I’ve always been interested in human behavior), I had an “a-ha” moment when I thought of pioneering the use of neuroscience in senior leadership development. Ten years ago, when I decided to open my company, the iconic leaders in this space today (Brene Brown, Adam Grant, Simon Sinek) weren’t around. And when I described our methodology to leaders at that time, they gave me the “woo-woo” look of not understanding what we did. Therefore, it took some years to get any traction before taking off. I was very concerned about the future, even though I knew this was where we could make a dramatic difference, which is ultimately what has happened.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

There is a quote from the eminent psychologist Carl Jung that has always resonated with me: “Whatever you resist, persists.” Some people have amplified that statement, noting that it will not only persist, but it will actually continue to grow.

From my perspective, this life lesson nicely sums up leadership development, specifically when it comes to feedback. Leaders, for the most part, will likely hear nothing new from their team members or other leaders; rather, they will hear the same things they’ve heard before but just didn’t address, primarily because they deemed them unnecessary or preferred to avoid them. Jung’s words signify that all these concerns, issues, problems, and conflicts will continue showing up repeatedly, perhaps even in different places and in different ways, until someone decides to tackle them. Of course, just because we address them doesn’t mean these things will instantly disappear. What it does mean is that this is an opportunity for leaders and humans to grow and improve.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

Few companies in the leadership development space use the principles of neuroscience to make leaders more effective. The vast majority of competitors are offering leadership development services based solely on strategic and tactical methodologies. The problem is that these techniques do not get to the unconscious parts of the mind where negative behavior patterns are formed — and where they can be successfully changed.

The neuroscience model is a proven, behavior-based structure that shows a far greater result of measurable, permanent success. Once these presenting behaviors are addressed, rapid and permanent leadership elevation is possible. Relying on other approaches relegates leadership development to nothing more than generic training, which isn’t unique to each leader, nor does it produce long-lasting, exponential outcomes.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

There are so many character traits that have helped me achieve success, but these three really stand out:

• Self-Awareness: Great leaders have high self-awareness of their operating methods and are constantly pulling back the curtain of self-discovery to understand why they do what they do and find better ways to do it. It’s in this self-discovery that we uncover behavioral blind spots — things we don’t even know we do until a mirror is held up — which is where true transformation and our full potential lies. But remember, self-awareness only goes so far; you may be completely unaware of areas where you need improvement, no matter how hard you look. That’s why it’s imperative to seek feedback. If you’re the boss, you’ll have to ask often, creating an environment where people are comfortable sharing critical input. And, once shared, you must do something about it.
• Transparency: Be real with others! This doesn’t mean you can be a complete jerk. It does mean sharing real things about yourself, who you are, your hopes, your dreams, even your worries. We are all human, and portraying yourself as a robot or a machine is not only disingenuous but also a façade that is difficult — impossible, actually — to maintain over time. You work with humans, and you are one, too. Share your humanity with others.
• Unlimit Your Potential: Too often, we doubt our own abilities, which can create serious roadblocks on the path to greatness. Most people are capable of achieving far more than they realize but are held back by behavioral patterns called “Limiting Beliefs” (I wrote a book on this subject). Everyone suffers inaction from limiting beliefs: “I can’t possibly do that” or “I don’t have enough [money, time, ability] to do that.” By unlimiting your beliefs, you can conquer those negative voices holding you back from remarkable achievements. I did this in order to effectively train for and compete in the Ironman World Championships. I needed to transform all thoughts that were telling me I can’t possibly do this and that even attempting to do it was a futile effort.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does Conflict Resolution mean?

Generally speaking, conflict falls into two categories:

• Conflict: This is when disagreement feels like a personal attack on values. When this occurs, there is disagreement that is energetically amped up through emotions such as anger, stress, and frustration. And because motivational values are unknowingly crossed, the situation escalates.
• Opposition: This involves objective disagreement, usually about strategic, decisional, or tactical differences. Opposition is a solid foundation on which to build healthy debate and where productive debate occurs.

With that said, we can now define conflict resolution. Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation puts out a daily blog in which I saw the most concise yet accurate description of this term: “Conflict resolution can be defined as the informal or formal process that two or more parties use to find a workable solution to their dispute.”

What are some common misunderstandings about Conflict Resolution that are important to clear up?

An extremely common and lingering misperception is that a conflict is a disagreement that feels like a personal attack on values; the vast majority of the time, this is not the case. More often than not, others don’t know they’ve crossed our values; they are simply articulating/sharing their opinion or solution.

The other misunderstanding is that conflict is bad or means others don’t like you or are holding things against you. Conflict simply exists as we are trying to get things done through relationships at work.

The first thing to do in both cases is reframe a conflict as simply being “opposition,” which is an objective disagreement that leads to smarter decisions. Opposing ideas help teams see all sides of an issue; you might even think of opposition as healthy debate.

As a corollary to this, most people assume negative intent in a conflict scenario. The truth is, 9 times out of 10, both parties (or even multiple parties) share the same positive intent of completing the work, finishing the project, or achieving the same beneficial outcome. The opposition (see, I already reframed it) coming across relates to the different methods or techniques that team members use to get things done. We each have our own unique way of working, of reaching a common goal. You will be well-served if you assume positive intent right from the start.

This might be intuitive to you, but it will be helpful to clearly express this. Can you please explain why it is so important for leaders to learn and deploy conflict resolution techniques?

Here are what I consider the four most relevant reasons:

• Workplace conflict carries a high cost. In fact, it is estimated that unproductive conflict costs companies around $535B annually.
• Conflict is going to happen in the workplace; there is no way to avoid it. When you’re talking about people with different personalities, perspectives, and motivations, conflict is inevitable, so you’d better establish a way to deal with it.
• It’s going to help you retain people. Team members cannot work in a negative environment indefinitely. If conflict arises constantly but is never resolved, your people will just take their talents elsewhere — someplace where conflict is dealt with honestly and productively.
• Productivity will increase. It’s difficult for people to work if they are always at odds with each other or constantly questioning the decisions of their leaders and team members. By resolving these instances of opposition, people can focus on their jobs rather than on a grudge against someone who has committed a real or perceived slight against them.

I should note that besides learning and deploying techniques for conflict resolution, it’s imperative that leaders understand the “stages” of conflict resolution, which each person carries out in their own sequence. These stages are:

• Stage 1: This is the only problem-solving stage of conflict, where each person sees the issue and their solution to it while still being able to hear the other person’s solution. The goal is to get back to this stage if a higher one is experienced.
• Stage 2: The person is no longer listening to your ideas and can only see the issue and their own solutions. Use this question to come back to Stage 1: “What would a viable solution look like to you?”
• Stage 3: In Stage 3, both the issue and other solutions drop out of sight, and all we are able to see is our own take on the problem. Use this question to direct back to Stage 2: “What about this issue is important to you?” Then try the Stage 2 question to get back to Stage 1.

These principles are part of what we teach teams in our RQ (Relationship Intelligence Quotient) program, “Results through Relationships.” This is scientifically rooted in team dynamics and relational interactions, which is how we get things done at work — particularly being senior leaders, because we complete projects through others, not on our own.

On the flip side, what happens to a work culture when there is not an effective way of resolving conflict? How does it impact employees?

It’s no great mystery as to what will happen if there is not an effective way to resolve conflict:

• The effects of unresolved conflict are cumulative. If a specific issue is not dealt with early on, then the next time it occurs, team members will react with increased frustration, a perfect breeding ground for tension and resentment.
• There will be a company-wide sentiment that leadership simply doesn’t care about anyone or their feelings, which will cause both team members and other leaders to seek greener pastures. And since word travels fast when it comes to a company’s work environment (think websites like Glassdoor), filling the openings will be challenging.
• An atmosphere of negativity will be created in which it will not only be unpleasant to work but where productivity will suffer.
• It will be difficult to develop a sense of unity and singleness of purpose that drives so many successful companies to the finish line — in other words, people will be reticent to work for the common good and will adopt an “every person for themselves” mentality.

Can you provide examples of how effective conflict resolution has led to increased team performance, collaboration, or innovation within your organization?

I was contracted to do some leadership development work at a company where conflict resolution was part of the curriculum. We were able to achieve dramatic results, as team performance increased 144% (it had previously been flat, while the prior year it was actually down 35%). Overall, companies have reported results of between 17% and 39.8% ROI, in as little as three to six months.

Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “Five Ways Every Team Leader Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts”? If you can, please share specific examples of a workplace conflict you’ve encountered, and how you applied conflict resolution techniques to address it.

First, every leader needs to understand that there is no way to completely eliminate conflict — and you really wouldn’t want to, anyway. Conflict is an avenue to get festering problems and issues out into the open where they can be handled and solved.

Creating an environment in which conflict resolution is effective starts with leaders exhibiting the behaviors and practices that they want to see in others, as well as throughout the company culture. Here are five basic ways that leaders can begin to model the basic tenets of conflict resolution:

1. Argue But Listen: Argue as if you are right but listen as if you are wrong (and be willing to change your mind).
2. Acknowledge Others: You should acknowledge where you agree with the other person and what you have learned from them.
3. Lend a Hand: Agree to help each other through conflict. The person in a lower stage of conflict should help others de-escalate back into Stage 1. This may or may not be the CEO; it can actually be anyone as long as everyone agrees on it up front.
4. Avoid Judging. Be inquisitive, not judging. Instead of drawing conclusions to explain someone’s behavior, simply remain curious and ask questions, i.e., “Walk me through your thought process so I can understand what led to the conclusion.” And then truly listen and be open to their perspective.
5. Look Inside: Practice introspection: It’s up to each team member to think through and identify their contribution to the conflict and own it.

In your experience, what are the most common sources of conflict within a team, and how do you proactively address these potential issues before they escalate?

If you do an online search on the term, “most common sources of workplace conflict,” you’ll get hundreds of millions of responses (I know because I did it). However, upon further inspection, you’ll see there are a few that continue to pop up consistently:

• Unsuccessful or Ineffective Communication: This doesn’t simply lead to workplace conflict — it leads to a loss of productivity and a boatload of money. On average, employee misunderstanding costs a 100K-employee company $62.4 million each year. What’s more, misaligned communications could cost a smaller, 100-employee company more than $500,000 per year.
• Personality Conflicts: We know that these are simply differences in motivational values. Yet according to a 2020 study from CIPD, almost half of employees (46%) cite personality differences as the primary source of workplace conflicts.
• Vague Roles & Responsibilities: This can lead to a myriad of problems, including duplication of tasks, lack of accountability, misguided job evaluations, unknown career paths, and ultimately, resentment towards leaders and team members.

Here are some effective ways to deal with and resolve these issues before their negative impact becomes unmanageable. These are not intended to be complete, step-by-step instructions on how to solve each issue but rather, general concepts that can serve as a solid starting point for the resolution process.

• Unsuccessful or Ineffective Communication: Evaluate the effectiveness of the communication channels you’re currently using. If you find that they are insufficient (e.g., important emails keep getting lost in your team members’ inboxes), you may need to share information in other ways. Also, put some effort into understanding each of your direct report’s communication preferences — they could be very different from yours.
• Differences in Motivational Values: You cannot change people’s values, but you can bring awareness of them to everyone. Consider using a behavioral inventory, like RQ (Relationship Intelligence), which maps out each team member’s motivational value system and shows where conflicts will occur. Then, convey this insight and system of working together in a “How We Work Together” team covenant. Many teams map this out and put it on their meeting agendas. You can also perform team-building activities that specifically bring out how team members get things done by having the team work on completing a fun, non-work-related task together.
• Vague Roles & Responsibilities: Clearly define the roles of each team member by creating written job descriptions that outline specific tasks and responsibilities, as well as any expectations for performance (KPI’s) and accountability. Ensure that each team member understands their role and how it fits into the larger team and organizational goals. Conduct regular reviews (more than once per year) and update roles and responsibilities as the team and the projects evolve. Also, seek regular and ongoing feedback from a cross-section of direct reports, peers, and leaders who are senior to you.

Where does conflict resolution lie in the overall scheme of an organization’s structure — or more specifically, their approach to creating a positive work environment?

As the top executives, you are surrounded by smart, capable, accomplished people and should seek to leverage their expertise; the art of inquiry provides an excellent mode of communication for doing just that. Furthermore, utilizing inquiry openly encourages team members to have an inquisitive voice with supervisors up through the C-suite level; that is, inquiry can go from team member to leadership as easily as it does the other way around.

Let’s zoom out for a big picture overview of what we’re after and where conflict lies on the pyramid of The 5 Functions of Healthy Teams, from Patrick Lencioni:

Notice where conflict is on the level second from the bottom. Trust precedes it and must be built and in place before healthy conflict and candid debate can exist. Notice that accountability is two levels up from conflict, requiring commitment between them. If you want accountable teams, healthy debate must be in place, which fosters commitment from all, and then accountability drops in above it. Some teams don’t see this and try to build accountability right after trust is established. Notice that accountability requires 100% buy-in and ultimately creates achievable results.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I would create a movement to eradicate limiting beliefs and empower all leaders, through the use of neuroscientific leadership development techniques, to reach their true potential and have vast, positive impact. Think about it: as a senior leader, you impact the lives of many people — everyone you work with, your family, friends, and the community at large. My book, entitled “Unlimiting Your Beliefs,” examines the limiting or negative beliefs that everyone has, beliefs that generate doubt in one’s abilities and, subsequently, lead to inaction.

How can our readers further follow you online?

Readers can visit my website at https://yourexponentialresults.com/. They can also follow me on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenbrown/.

Readers are also welcome to engage in a free inventory of their own Relationship Intelligence Quotient (referred to earlier), a cutting-edge system used globally by companies of all sizes. The inventory takes approximately 30 minutes to complete, and you will have immediate access to your results. You can find the inventory here.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to participate in this valuable interview series.

About the Interviewer: Eric L. Pines is a nationally recognized federal employment lawyer, mediator, and attorney business coach. He represents federal employees and acts as in-house counsel for over fifty thousand federal employees through his work as a federal employee labor union representative. A formal federal employee himself, Mr. Pines began his federal employment law career as in-house counsel for AFGE Local 1923 which is in Social Security Administration’s headquarters and is the largest federal union local in the world. He presently serves as AFGE 1923’s Chief Counsel as well as in-house counsel for all FEMA bargaining unit employees and numerous Department of Defense and Veteran Affairs unions.

While he and his firm specialize in representing federal employees from all federal agencies and in reference to virtually all federal employee matters, his firm has placed special attention on representing Veteran Affairs doctors and nurses hired under the authority of Title. He and his firm have a particular passion in representing disabled federal employees with their requests for medical and religious reasonable accommodations when those accommodations are warranted under the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (ADA). He also represents them with their requests for Federal Employee Disability Retirement (OPM) when an accommodation would not be possible.

Mr. Pines has also served as a mediator for numerous federal agencies including serving a year as the Library of Congress’ in-house EEO Mediator. He has also served as an expert witness in federal court for federal employee matters. He has also worked as an EEO technical writer drafting hundreds of Final Agency Decisions for the federal sector.

Mr. Pines’ firm is headquartered in Houston, Texas and has offices in Baltimore, Maryland and Atlanta, Georgia. His first passion is his wife and five children. He plays classical and rock guitar and enjoys playing ice hockey, running, and biking. Please visit his websites at www.pinesfederal.com and www.toughinjurylawyers.com. He can also be reached at eric@pinesfederal.com.