Workplace Conflict Resolution: Laura Crandall Of Slate Communication On How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts
An Interview With Eric Pines
Be curious and learn. Take classes, read books, and have conversations about building your skills with conflict resolution. Make conflict resolution part of your toolbox and part of how you think about the skills needed to help manage people well. Support colleagues who want to get better at it, too.
An important component of leadership is conflict resolution. Why is conflict resolution so important? How can leaders effectively incorporate conflict resolution into their work culture? In this interview series called “Workplace Conflict Resolution: How Team Leaders Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts,” we are talking to business leaders who can share insights and anecdotes from their experience about how to implement Conflict Resolution at work. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Laura Crandall.
Laura Crandall founded her management consulting firm, Slate Communication, in 2009. For over thirty years, she has worked in and consulted with industries that include manufacturing, journalism, hospitality, and academia; fifteen of those years were spent managing teams. Laura’s work is dedicated to helping people within organizations discover and develop foundational management and communication skills — the things we assume everyone has, but rarely discuss. She is an instructor in the Career and Academic Resource Center at Harvard Extension School, where she teaches about workplace communication. Laura earned her master’s degree from Harvard Graduate School of Education, where she studied cognitive neuroscience and organizational behavior.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I have an eclectic career path that travels from manufacturing to hospitality to academia and several points in between. I started my management consultancy after 15 years in business management and corporate education. I noticed that the common denominator along that path was always the joy and energy I felt when I could help people learn and work together in ways that are generative, satisfying, and fun. I left corporate to study cognitive neuroscience and organizational behavior — essentially how adults can learn together best. Being able to blend my management experience with an educational framework is really satisfying and serves my consulting and coaching clients well.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Well, since my CV includes being a line-worker in a salmon cannery, the Spa Director at a four-star resort, and my client roster includes Ivy League universities, alternative energy firms, and software companies, I’ve got stories for days! And conflict resolution (done both well and poorly) factors into many of them. One had to do with crisis management — I was called to help an organization avoid a staff walk-out. The situation was volatile, and I was contacted when it suddenly flared and the organization was in peril. I hopped on an initial call that was scheduled with the managing team. I expected it to be with the seven senior managers, but when I said hello, there were over forty irate staff on the call as well — as I said, it was volatile.
To their immense credit, they let me ask questions and learn on-the-fly about their situation and anger. They were mad about how the organization had been handling conflicts that were worsening every day — and rightly so. Somehow, they let me be clumsy while listening to them, share that I really did care about helping them through their situation while not seeing their organization implode, and craft some immediate and very specific steps to keep the conversation and daily operations going. It was one of the most intense, unexpected, and powerful conversations I’ve ever had with a group. It worked because everyone was willing to show-up, participate, and really listen even when emotions were running high. We found a way through to a solid resolution.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?
My favorite quote is from my days as a Spa Director and is featured in my upcoming book about management and communication, Working With Humans. It’s this: Don’t be a jackass. It’s meant as a helpful reminder, not a punitive scold — like when someone says, “Don’t forget your wallet!” or “Have a great day!” It’s the reminder we all need of what NOT to do.
Most things we learn about how to manage and lead well ADD things we have to do every day: go to a million meetings, get your inbox to zero, hit your KPIs, operate with a sense of urgency… and all of those things can be important. But if you’re behaving like a jackass (someone who is rude, obtuse, harmful, corrupt, oblivious to the people around you), all of those things become harder than necessary and will, often sooner than later, create conflict. If you remember NOT to be a jackass while doing the work of being a competent manager and leader, everything becomes easier and more fun for you and the people around you.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
My clients have told me that I have a few attributes that are really helpful: I’m emotionally present when I listen; I am sincere in my belief that they can improve, change, and resolve whatever situation their are facing; and I have a practical and encouraging sense of humor that helps to lighten the load, even when things are really heavy.
One of my corporate clients had been working hard for months to develop the communication and management skills of their leadership team. The old style of the organization had been to avoid conversations that could actually influence performance, and there had been a collective fear of speaking directly to problems of all sorts including system-wide operations and individual behaviors. They were making good headway, but old patterns are hard to break.
In the midst of really good work in improving operations and communication, one employee’s negative behavior and poor reliability was impacting multiple departments. Corrective conversations, even though leadership had the tools to conduct them, were being avoided. There was always a reason not to have the conversation or to mention it obliquely: a deadline, a project where the employee was the lead, an important client with whom the employee had sway. Despite the desire to do things differently, they couldn’t see that their old habits were driving their actions.
During a meeting where the impact of avoiding this conflict was the only thing on the agenda, I was asked how persistent I thought the situation was. I held-up a small stack of my notebooks, edges forward, showing about two dozen purple Post-its sticking out from the edges. I smiled and said, “Ok, I know it’s easy to think that this employee’s behavior is just now becoming a problem, but it’s not. These are all the times you’ve mentioned this situation to me so far this year. You have shown real dedication to not addressing it directly — if you’re going for some sort of record, I don’t want to stop you. But maybe a new team sport like softball or frisbee would be better? Something that doesn’t continue to vex you and the rest of the company?”
The visual helped, and the spirit of humor and encouragement toward change that was behind it drove the point home and moved them into action. The leaders hadn’t really perceived how long the conflict had persisted. They needed to see it, know they could keep doing it that way if they wanted to, but that there were other — immensely more enjoyable — things to do with their time.
Mostly, people forget that even in difficult situations, they can choose to see the problem any way they want. It’s okay to have a view of a conflict that respects the situation, holds it both respectfully and lightly, and moves through it in a way that serves the goals of the organization simultaneously.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Curiosity. Always start with curiosity — curiosity about a circumstance, a person, a market, a product, a feeling, a hope. Curiosity about oneself and others is the best way to engage with conflict, too. When I’m truly curious and open to learning, connections happen rapidly — even if the connection is that I’m headed in the wrong direction — that’s the chance to course-correct. To do things well, to learn quickly and be able to use information practically and thoroughly enough so that it can become knowledge, that’s a key for leadership of all types. And there is a nuance to remember in using curiosity: curiosity is rooted in wonder, in not knowing yet. Be curious; don’t just question.
Courage. Courage is the ability to recognize fear for what it is and choose to act anyway. Courage is needed every day, especially in times of uncertainty and tumult — and WOW do we have a lot of both of those right now in our world. In business, courage is often hyped as taking bold action, pushing the envelope, and challenging assumptions. Those are perfectly good times to have courage, but I think they get too much press. What about the courage to get out of bed in the morning when you are overwhelmed and are worried whether you can be a good role model for your team? What about finding the courage to have that conversation that brings attention to jackassed behavior while encouraging people to do better? What about the courage to share an idea or aspiration? We use courage every day to calibrate all sorts of risks, large and small. The small acts of courage — the ones that don’t get a lot of attention — are the ones that build companies, careers, and communities.
Joy. The ice cream icons Ben & Jerry famously asked: if it’s not fun, why do it? It’s such a great question! Why indeed? But because, as a culture, we often conflate fun with lack of effort, I alter it a little: if there’s no joy, why do it? Joy can come from the satisfaction of a job well-done, of being able to whistle while you work, of being able to notice when you like something that you are working on. And that can happen anywhere in any type of work (if you recall from my answer to earlier question, I have worked in a salmon cannery sliming fish and actually found a lot of joy in that work, even though fish guts are totally gross.) Joy is not always easy to find, you have to remember to look for it, to notice it in others, and to treasure it in yourself. Leaders who bring joy with them model it for others. Feeling joy, yes even when things are difficult or frustrating, makes work more meaningful. And it also can make it a lot more fun.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader?
Yes. Good paths are sometimes hard to get to — sometimes heartbreakingly so. I’ve felt this most often when an employee isn’t chosen for a promotion. Maybe they weren’t qualified yet, maybe there was someone who was a better choice for the team, but helping people stay connected to their own potential in the face of immediate disappointment is hard. Promotions can create conflict among peers — laying the groundwork for teams to be able to communicate within conflict and disappointment is vital to everyone’s long term success.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does Conflict Resolution mean?
Let’s use the definition from Harvard’s Program on Negotiation: “Conflict resolution can be defined as the informal or formal process that two or more parties use to find a peaceful solution to their dispute.” I tend toward the informal, but the goal is peaceful resolution. People often think “peaceful” means placid — but peacefulness has to do with respect for each other’s humanity and dignity, even when disagreements are intense.
What are some common misunderstandings about Conflict Resolution that are important to clear up?
There are so many, but the biggest one is that it’s a one-time thing, that you can check it off a list and it’s over. Real conflict resolution — not just a patch-job, but real repair — almost always takes place over time. That doesn’t mean you have to belabor the point, but it works best when all people involved feel confident in the enduring outcome of the conversations and actions.
This might be intuitive to you, but it will be helpful to clearly express this. Can you please explain why it is so important for leaders to learn and deploy conflict resolution techniques?
Leaders can be successful when people are willing to follow them; earning peoples’ trust is part of that. Part of being able to gain the trust, the followership, of people is if leaders are able to withstand the messy complexity of leading people and the conflicts that are a part of the human experience. When leaders see and can engage with conflict — even if that means asking for help to do so — and work to address the underlying cause, it shows character, compassion, and integrity. It shows that leaders care enough to pay attention and participate in the experiences of the people who choose to follow them.
On the flip side, what happens to a work culture when there is not an effective way of resolving conflict? How does it impact employees?
Volatility is an immediate result: too much infighting, too much distraction about things that are not really the issue. Petty problems fester and create unpredictable interactions and defensive routines. A longer-term result of avoiding conflict can be cynicism — and that can be the kiss of death in any organization. It is a sign that disappointment and mistrust have been normalized. If employees are cynical (and this may include leadership), the path to changing that disposition is a long one. It requires that leaders dive into the deep end of conflict resolution to learn how their own avoidance of, or disinterest in, conflict has hardened and harmed their culture. It’s so much easier to address conflict and work to resolve it earlier — the survival of your organization may depend on it.
Can you provide examples of how effective conflict resolution has led to increased team performance, collaboration, or innovation within your organization?
A great example is from a client going through a corporate merger. The management teams from each independent organization had been relying on talent and passion for their success: all of the managers were skilled at their jobs and cared about their work. But mergers generally produce a lot of anxiety and fear, even when they are done well. The new, combined management team had a hard time getting their momentum, addressing their concerns about new teams and responsibilities, and creating effective reporting structures. Their worry came out as general resistance to change, passive-aggressive behavior that was labeled as “just trying to help,” and a lot of conflict avoidance that made every one of these skilled people edgy and oddly unhelpful.
When we started talking about their concerns directly, in a structured and safe way, the conflicts that not talking about their concerns had created began to show signs of resolution. That practical approach plus active acknowledgement of the small glimmers of hope it created, helped behaviors change for the better, and constructive, creative conversations moved the merger forward with more grace and success.
Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “Five Ways Every Team Leader Can Create The Right Environment To Resolve Conflicts”? If you can, please share specific examples of a workplace conflict you’ve encountered, and how you applied conflict resolution techniques to address it.
1 . Know yourself and how you feel about conflict. Do you avoid it? Do you run toward it? Do you try to quash it or control it? Be honest with yourself and examine your motivations and responses. I’ve seen so many people in the C-suite not deal with conflict well simply because they hadn’t examined their own feelings about it. Knowing how you actually feel about conflict (e.g., scared, annoyed, paralyzed, etc.) and how you would like to feel (e.g. confident, calm, prepared, etc.) when it presents itself is essential to being able to resolve conflicts of every type.
2 . Look for the people in your organization who deal with conflict well. What are those individuals doing that you appreciate? Talk with them and tell them you admire their skill. If there isn’t anyone in your organization who does it well, find out why. Start a conversation about what having better conflict resolution skills could do to help how your organization runs. So many times I’ve worked with leaders who are just faking it because they think they have to be able to magically know how to resolve conflicts. The result is often that they bulldoze over conflict to try to make it stop. That never works well. When leaders ask for help from skilled people on their team, it is an opportunity to build trust and skill.
3 . Don’t pretend conflict isn’t happening. Conflict is part of being human. It’s okay that people can be really irritated with each other — they can also be really helpful and supportive, and it’s important to recognize the whole picture. When leaders gloss over or diminish the fact of a conflict, especially if the leader perceives a conflict as “not a big deal,” it paints that leader in a bad light. Those are messes that are hard to clean up. I’ve been called to help many leaders who are dealing with teams who think that the leader doesn’t care about them. Much of that type of perception stems from a leader’s failure to acknowledge conflict and support its resolution.
4 . Don’t pass the buck. You don’t have to be the only person who handles conflict resolutions, but you can’t tap out and let the people you lead do all the work if you don’t feel confident. Sometimes leaders think they are the only ones who can handle conflict, but more often they pass it off to someone else because they don’t want to be seen as micro-managing the situation. While it’s not necessary to be involved with every conversation, it’s important that you don’t ignore conflicts within your organization. Ask questions, have people give you updates that are grounded in both objective and subjective data. When I’m called for crisis intervention, it’s often because a leader wasn’t aware that a reasonable conflict has become an unreasonable situation.
5 . Be curious and learn. Take classes, read books, and have conversations about building your skills with conflict resolution. Make conflict resolution part of your toolbox and part of how you think about the skills needed to help manage people well. Support colleagues who want to get better at it, too.
I know working on becoming more skilled with conflict can feel really awkward. So many of my clients who have been in their jobs for years are embarrassed to admit that they aren’t better at conflict resolution and developing those skills in their teams. Remember that it’s ok to be clumsy. Just keep trying (sincerely) to get better at this aspect of communication. It pays off in how you and the people you lead will feel about how you all work together.
In your experience, what are the most common sources of conflict within a team, and how do you proactively address these potential issues before they escalate?
It’s the “little” things: the vast array of details we assume everyone knows but don’t ask about or clarify. These are always at the roots of conflict: misinformation and a lack of clarity and curiosity.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
To get better at basic communication by teaching people how to be sincerely curious and openhearted about themselves and each other. I’ve written a bit about it in Working With Humans. The book comes out in October 2023 ;-)
How can our readers further follow you online?
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About the Interviewer: Eric L. Pines is a nationally recognized federal employment lawyer, mediator, and attorney business coach. He represents federal employees and acts as in-house counsel for over fifty thousand federal employees through his work as a federal employee labor union representative. A formal federal employee himself, Mr. Pines began his federal employment law career as in-house counsel for AFGE Local 1923 which is in Social Security Administration’s headquarters and is the largest federal union local in the world. He presently serves as AFGE 1923’s Chief Counsel as well as in-house counsel for all FEMA bargaining unit employees and numerous Department of Defense and Veteran Affairs unions.
While he and his firm specialize in representing federal employees from all federal agencies and in reference to virtually all federal employee matters, his firm has placed special attention on representing Veteran Affairs doctors and nurses hired under the authority of Title. He and his firm have a particular passion in representing disabled federal employees with their requests for medical and religious reasonable accommodations when those accommodations are warranted under the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (ADA). He also represents them with their requests for Federal Employee Disability Retirement (OPM) when an accommodation would not be possible.
Mr. Pines has also served as a mediator for numerous federal agencies including serving a year as the Library of Congress’ in-house EEO Mediator. He has also served as an expert witness in federal court for federal employee matters. He has also worked as an EEO technical writer drafting hundreds of Final Agency Decisions for the federal sector.
Mr. Pines’ firm is headquartered in Houston, Texas and has offices in Baltimore, Maryland and Atlanta, Georgia. His first passion is his wife and five children. He plays classical and rock guitar and enjoys playing ice hockey, running, and biking. Please visit his websites at www.pinesfederal.com and www.toughinjurylawyers.com. He can also be reached at eric@pinesfederal.com.
