Zane Trubick: Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life
An Interview With Pirie Jones Grossman
I’ve been given a lot of great advice. Some of which I learned in classes, from my peers, mentors, and from my family. Some of these include: start your day with a task completed, listen twice as much as you speak, always give others your respect but make them earn your trust, because you lost the battle doesn’t mean you’ll lose the war, and it is what it is.
Many successful people reinvented themselves in a later period in their lives. Jeff Bezos worked in Wall Street before he reinvented himself and started Amazon. Sara Blakely sold office supplies before she started Spanx. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a WWE wrestler before he became a successful actor and filmmaker. Arnold Schwarzenegger went from a bodybuilder, to an actor to a Governor. McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc was a milkshake-device salesman before starting the McDonalds franchise in his 50's.
How does one reinvent themselves? What hurdles have to be overcome to take life in a new direction? How do you overcome those challenges? How do you ignore the naysayers? How do you push through the paralyzing fear?
In this series called “Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life “ we are interviewing successful people who reinvented themselves in a second chapter in life, to share their story and help empower others.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Zane Trubick.
Zane Trubick is a 19-year-old student at the University of San Diego. Zane is a former foster youth who shares his second chance story and how Promises2Kids helped pave his way for success.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in San Diego County. My family was always jumping from one place to another. We never stayed in one location for more than a couple of years at a time. When child protective services (CPS) became involved with my life, home placement became even more unsteady. My mother and stepfather argued often. He was a violent, bitter man, but he put food on the table. My mom couldn’t support me on her own and was caught in his web of abuse. I was first placed in foster care when I was six years old. Their arguments almost always resulted in something physical. One time in particular, my mother’s arm was broken while she was holding my newborn sister. That’s when I was placed in foster care with my little sister. I went back with my mom and stepfather when I was in fourth grade but nothing changed. My stepfather was still unpredictable and an alcoholic.
In sixth grade I was placed with a new family due to another incident that escalated out of control. This time I was by myself. My siblings, I had two little sisters now, stayed with my stepdad. In seventh grade I went back with my mom and stepdad. The summer before eighth grade, my mother and I were kicked out of the house, and I had nowhere to go. My mom could barely support herself, let alone me on her own. I was going to be placed back into foster care, but CPS asked my biological father if he would take me. For the next couple of months, I lived with him. It was anything but ideal and my CASA, Bob, saw that. He was assigned to me in the third or fourth grade, so I had already known him for around four years. He offered me to come and live with him and his wife. I said yes and my life turned for the better.
Until the start of eighth grade my grades were mediocre, I lacked passion and determination, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with life nor what I could get out of it. I had been in and out of the foster care system, living in a cycle of uncertainty, due to the fact that my mother and stepfather had substance and physical abuse issues. I had been in nine schools in eight years. I had no stability in my life and was just going through the motions of attending whatever school I was in at the time. I couldn’t maintain friendships, I couldn’t maintain my grades, and I didn’t know what it felt like to be in the warmth of a safe home.
For the first time in my life, I was able to experience a loving, stable home life; sitting down at the dinner table each night, a home cooked meal, and talking to each other showed me what a proper family dynamic looked like. There were never any arguments, I wasn’t physically disciplined, and the thought of being home no longer made my stomach twist. I had a new appreciation for life and the possibilities available to me. I saw the lifestyle an education could provide since both of my guardians were lawyers. I finally understood the importance of school and that an education is the key to breaking the cycle of living in poverty.
The start of eighth grade was a turbulent time for me. Grades finally mattered, I could no longer hold a mindset that I could let myself fall off and that I could start over at the next school. I wanted to make my guardians proud. I had to catch-up with my studies and truly put in the effort that made me feel I was earning the opportunity given to me. Bob showed me the opportunities available to me, and that if I kept a level head, worked hard, and focused on the task ahead, I could one day create that lifestyle and security I desired for myself.
In ninth grade he encouraged me to join the NJROTC program at my high school so I could experience structure, discipline, and learn to serve others. For the first time in my life, I established strong friendships and found a home away from home. I was able to attend the same high school all four years. I learned the importance of discipline, respect, and perseverance. In that program I developed these attributes and matured as a person. By sophomore year I found that college wasn’t something out of my reach. I strived to raise my GPA so I would have the opportunity to attend the university of my choice. I had a goal in sight, and I was determined to reach it.
Junior year of high school Bob found out about Promises2Kids and its Guardian Scholars program. It became another network of support I could count on when needed. They held various classes and seminars which taught me about studying for SAT’s, manners, job interviews, resumes, and other practical things not taught in high school. Once I transitioned to Guardian Scholars in college, I was assigned a mentor, coordinator, and had more classes available to me. I joined the Men’s Leadership Network where I was assigned a coach. This program within Promises2Kids allowed me to gain skills I could transition into the workforce and create a close network with amazing individuals. Both my mentor and coach were engineering majors in college, a career I’m pursuing. They both have a wealth of knowledge about the different pipelines available, structure of courses, and of the mental demand these courses require. They are people I can turn to with any questions or concerns. Outside of the STEM domain, I’ve created close relationships with all the networks of support: coordinator, mentor, coach, and feel I could turn to one of them if needed.
Today I’m attending the University of San Diego where I am focusing on my degree in Electrical Engineering.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite life lesson quote is from David Goggins. That is to “never let people who choose the path of least resistance steer you away from your chosen path of most resistance.” I don’t want to wander through life on easy mode. I want to challenge myself and always strive for excellence to the best of my ability. I don’t want to give in to the thought that a subject, major, workout, leadership position etc., would be too much work and that I could work around it for something easy or more manageable. I also don’t want to be influenced by those who choose to take that easy path. The only way to feel accomplished is to take risks and work hard. It won’t be a rewarding experience if you know you’ll just be able to mouth breath your way through the task. You won’t be able to develop yourself as a person without facing various challenges. The only way to improve is through struggle, hard work, and discipline.
You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much? If you can, please share a story or example for each.
I have perseverance, ambition, and loyalty. Going to eight schools in nine years did not prepare me for high school or college. I had to put in work to catch up to the level my peers were performing at, to succeed in class. I was able to persevere with studying, even though I wasn’t accustomed to putting maximum effort into my studies. I wanted to create a path to a better life, one I would be proud of, and I wanted to make my guardians proud. I had people who were truly proud of me and the support I need through my mentors at Promises2Kids.
I am ambitious because I want to have a better life than the one I experienced before I moved in with my guardians. I want a career that will allow me to be self-sufficient, support a family, and allow me to give back to others, the same way I have been given support. Every grade, every day, is one step closer to that goal.
Lastly, I am loyal. Loyalty isn’t something you can buy, it is earned. When you create relationships where people can depend on you when needed, it’s important to be there to uphold those relationships. When you find people who genuinely care and support you, it’s important to hold onto those relationships. It’s important to remind those who helped lift you up to the place where you want to be and are going. Most importantly, it can’t be taken for granted. A few genuine relationships are more valuable than an abundance of fake ones.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Second Chapters’. Can you tell our readers about your career experience before your Second Chapter? And how did you “reinvent yourself” in your Second Chapter?
The start of my “second chapter” was when I moved in with my guardians. If I didn’t have their support or guidance I don’t know where I would be today. I reinvented myself in the sense that I wanted to be the person others could go to for help and others could count on for support. I didn’t want to continue going through the motions of life as I was before I began to live with my guardians. I also didn’t want to be the one always receiving help. My family life was unpredictable and unstable. Growing up I knew I wanted to change that for myself. After experiencing stability in an environment where I was able to foster my own growth, I now know what I want to duplicate for myself and for my future family.
Can you tell us about the specific trigger that made you decide that you were going to “take the plunge” and make your huge transition?
In addition to finding a passion for education, Bob gave me a passion of mind and body in surfing. Through surfing I was able to destress, mentally relax, and stay physically fit. It’s an art form that made me realize the joy of life. We created a bond through surfing, a skill I’ll have for the rest of my life, and a place I can go when I need to feel close to him. By my senior year I had a weighted GPA of 4.3 and an unweighted of 3.83. I got into 7/12 colleges I applied to. I ended up receiving a full five-year scholarship (Naval) to the University of San Diego.
Bob created a lifestyle I never had the opportunity to previously experience. I was always self-conscious, sacred, worried about what the future had in store for me. Whether it was down the road or later that night. Bob took everything bad in my life and made it good. When I moved in with him in eighth grade I had no idea that I would have the opportunity to attend college, to find passion, to gain the experiences I’ve gained. I owe a lot to him and his wife. Bob taught me how to be a man while his wife taught me to think, behave, and the importance of an organized lifestyle.
What did you do to discover that you had a new skillset inside of you that you haven’t been maximizing? How did you find that and how did you ultimately overcome the barriers to help manifest those powers?
I had to self-reflect on the opportunity given to me and recognize that there aren’t a lot of people in my position given those same opportunities. I felt I needed to work for the chance given to me, I needed to give back, I needed to prove that their time and effort weren’t wasted on me. Outside of what my guardians made available to me, my NROTC scholarship has given me the opportunity to attend school and commission into the Navy. It’s an opportunity that is also a privilege. It’s important to recognize that all things given can be taken just as easily. You must earn your keep and show that you deserve what you have been given.
How are things going with this new initiative? We would love to hear some specific examples or stories.
I’m going to school and working towards attaining a degree in electrical engineering and a commission.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I’m extremely thankful for my former legal guardians Bob and Laura. They showed me the lifestyle that I could create as long as I was willing to put in the time and effort to get there. I’m also thankful for the relationships I’ve built through Promises2Kids — my coordinator, Mario, my mentor, Erik, and my coach, Daniel. All have been a huge resource in navigating the organization, college, and life.
Did you ever struggle with believing in yourself? If so, how did you overcome that limiting belief about yourself? Can you share a story or example?
I never struggled with believing in myself. I have thought that a class or a particular workout was hard. In those cases, I had to set aside extra time to focus on the areas where I needed improvement. I never became discouraged or struggled in believing that I could do something. I knew I could do it if I put in the work and set aside the necessary time. I did become bothered that I had to set aside more time toward one particular task when I could have been focusing on a subject I really enjoyed, or on myself. At the end of the day my job is to go to school. The only thing I had, and have, to worry about are excelling in my academics.
In my own work I usually encourage my clients to ask for support before they embark on something new. How did you create your support system before you moved to your new chapter?
My network of support stems from the family I made while living with Bob, the staff at Promises2Kids, my girlfriend’s (Michaela) family, and the resources provided by my scholarships. All these support systems were created while I was under a legal guardianship with Bob. His family became mine, I joined Promises2Kids my junior year of high school, I became a part of Michaela’s family who have given me tremendous support, and I earned my scholarship senior year of high school — all of which occurred before I aged out of the system.
Starting a new chapter usually means getting out of your comfort zone, how did you do that? Can you share a story or example of that?
I feel that getting out of my comfort zone is required of me based on the career I want to go into.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started leading my organization” and why? Please share a story or example for each.
I’ve been given a lot of great advice. Some of which I learned in classes, from my peers, mentors, and from my family. Some of these include: start your day with a task completed, listen twice as much as you speak, always give others your respect but make them earn your trust, because you lost the battle doesn’t mean you’ll lose the war, and it is what it is.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
To try and make one person laugh or smile every day. The world is a lot more beautiful when people laugh and smile. You feel good and the person you influenced feels good too.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)
It would be amazing to have lunch with former President Donald Trump. He was someone who worked his way to the world stage and managed to stay on it. People ridiculed, criticized, and doubted his abilities to reach his goals. Through all the adversity and hate he received, he remained levelheaded and focused. I admire his patience, willingness to work for what he believes in, and not backing down when faced with challenges.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Promises2Kids played a huge role in helping me create a second chance in my life. You can learn more about the organization and how to support foster youth by visiting www.promises2kids.org
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
