The Fear of Falling in Love

My Own Journey Overcoming Philophobia

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It always starts the same way.

A flutter in the chest, the overwhelming urge to retreat, and the sudden realization that I’m already pulling back before I even know what’s happening.

It doesn’t matter who they are — kind, interesting, or someone who could be a genuine connection. The moment it feels like love might be in the air, my defenses go up. High.

At first, I thought it was just me being cautious, maybe even smart.

Isn’t it better to be careful than to get hurt? But, if I’m honest, it wasn’t caution I was exercising. It was fear.

I didn’t know there was a word for it, but apparently, there is: philophobia. The fear of falling in love.

Not just the fear of heartbreak or rejection, but a deep-seated fear that love, in all its chaotic glory, could unravel you.

I’d spent years running from it, making excuses like, “I’m just focusing on myself” or “I haven’t found the right person yet.” But it wasn’t about finding the right person.

It was about being afraid that love would hurt me, and I wasn’t ready to face that.

How Fear Sneaks In

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