If you find it difficult to plan and stick to a schedule or create a meaningful routine, you may be experiencing executive dysfunction. Executive functions are a set of mental skills that include working memory, focus, planning, controlling impulses, and general self-control. Executive functioning skills are used every day to learn, work, and manage our daily lives. Struggling with these functions is what gets you an ADHD diagnosis but executive dysfunction is also common within other neurotypes like Autism, Dyslexia, Tourettes, OCD, and even those battling mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Executive dysfunction can make it feel impossible to stay focused, be consistent, start a task and follow it to completion, complete multiple-step processes, follow directions as they are outlined, self-monitor, and identify and process emotions in a healthy way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do those things. In fact, it’s rarely discussed alongside “dysfunction” that most people with these issues can and do hyperfocus on the tasks they love to do, but that’s if it follows their passions or special interests. Unfortunately, the dysfunction often happens regarding the “life skills” that are needed to be an adult which encompasses a lot of the things you may not love to do.
I own a professional organizing and coaching company here in Philadelphia and also help people virtually all over the world but my specialty, and what I truly love to do, is to help neurodivergent adults and families with executive functioning challenges get organized and develop skills that improve their quality of life. All of my past clients have one thing in common: They are dying for order in their lives, schedules they can maintain, and routines that work for them. The issue is not that they can’t create and maintain order in their lives, it’s that they have no clue where to begin or how to create the personalized schedules and routines that will actually work for them personally.
For the record, I’ve worked with lawyers, teachers, doctors, nurses, and even politicians. I mention the successful clients I’ve worked with because having executive functioning challenges is NOT related to overall functioning or intelligence. Setting up routines, time-management, and keeping a schedule long-term can be incredibly difficult for neurodivergent folks because these skills require each of the executive functions to be used in some capacity in order to be successful. Until you learn the skills needed for you on a personal level and figure out what works for you, you will be stuck in the same repetitive cycle of shame and a downward spiral, and trust me, that is NO FUN! Stop comparing yourself to others and asking “Why doesn’t that work for me?” or “Why can’t I do that?” because you are YOU! Let’s discuss advice I’ve given my own clients that have worked for them, and feel free to add your own flair because at the end of the day this is all about you.
Here are the 6 PRACTICAL tips to revamp your routine:
Tip #1: Start Slow
When setting up a new routine, it is common to create a whole routine from scratch that is completely revamped from what you are used to but having too many new tasks out of nowhere can be overwhelming which can make you feel anxious or even promote giving up too quickly. By prioritizing one extra task at a time instead of completely revamping your daily life, you are more likely to keep it going without all of the stress.
Pro Tip: Choose to work on the specific routine that you enjoy the most to start. Add just one large or two small tasks to it at first and practice it many times and even master it so it becomes a habit before you add more. Many begin with their morning routine as it sets the tone for your day and others, (particularly those who are night owl’s) prefer to start with a better bedtime or nighttime routine if they would like to wake up earlier.
Tip #2: Simplify
Have you heard the phrase “go big or go home”? It can be a big problem for those struggling with executive dysfunction because it can set the bar way too high and lead us to burn out, get overwhelmed, or give up much quicker. Instead of “reinventing the wheel”, build around the skills you already have or the things you enjoy. Do not make your life harder with a schedule instead, choose tasks that will simplify and improve your life. I’ve seen a lot of my clients trying a schedule or routine that someone else recommended or they read online and they left who they are out of the mix. They didn’t add anything FOR THEM and of course, that was not fun or easy! Not adding your own needs, wants, style, flair, passions, is setting yourself up for failure. Try building a routine and a schedule around the things you already do well or enjoy.
Just like in tip #1, adding slowly and giving yourself time to practice the new task helps you stay focused, consistent, and ultimately promotes the task becoming “second nature” along with your current routine. When adding a new task or step in your routine doesn’t work for you, don’t see it as a “failure”. See it for what it really is, which is trying something new but it didn’t work out. Instead figure out why it didn’t work and say, “Let’s try it again this way.”
PRO TIP: Try mixing in your own flair by adding the things you love into your schedule and routine. This is how you turn new tasks into new success routines and create healthier “habits” going forward.
Tip #3: Map It Out
Executive functioning issues often hinder short and long-term planning which is a very important step when creating schedules and routines. For some, it’s hard to even articulate what you want out of your schedule to get to the planning phase, so it’s important to sit down and plan on paper (or on your phone or computer) by writing things out or even doodling. Here are some steps to help with planning if you struggle in this area:
Step 1. When I feel stuck or “blank”, I use brain dumps before I begin planning which has been a game-changer for me! If you already have a clear vision for what you need or what you want to accomplish, skip to step 2.)
Step 2. Once you’ve figured out your goals or needs in detail, write them down as well your ideal schedule for each item in your routine (morning, work, evening, bedtime, etc).
Pro Tip: Workday routines and days off/weekends/holidays routines will look very different. It is best to map out each one separately.
Step 3. Plan your schedule by estimating the time it takes to do each task or item. For instance, how long does it take to brush your teeth, shower, make your bed, cook/eat breakfast? If you are unsure, time yourself or you can adjust your estimates as you go. This step is extra important for those who are “time blind”. It is common to over or underestimates the amount of time that’s needed for each task and that can wreak havoc on how we intended our plans to go. For instance, underestimating the time it takes to complete the task results in us feeling “rushed”, being late, feeling frustrated, or cause unnecessary anxiety. Overestimating may do the opposite and cause us to feel unmotivated to keep going.
PRO TIP: Planning your schedule is not just a skill, it’s an art that needs to be sculpted around who you are.
Tip #4: Insight
It is a common oversight to forget that this is all about YOU, a new schedule or routine is not about anyone else but you and the goals you have for yourself (and possibly your family as well). Why do we so often forget about who we are and only think about what we want to be and forget that we are the people who need to get ourselves there? You may have made your list of tasks encompassing all the things you “need to do” but if you make it all business and “not about you” it’s going to be a harder road than it has to be.
forget to bring insight into your list. Without insight, a list of tasks and goals is just a collection of words without a soul. Insight is how you put your reality in the mix and give life to your plans and by adding the stuff you love to a list and schedule, you create a more realistic and manageable schedule. This will greatly increase staying focused and committed to your goals long term. If you’re stuck wondering what to add just for you, think about needed rests and breaks, creative breaks, stim breaks, time for hobbies, exercise, meal planning, free-time, and even social time, but more on that In the next tip.
Pro Tip: When planning, ask yourself the following questions: Can I manage this new task in a healthy way? What can I add to my list to make a new task on the schedule/routine interesting, fun, or easier for myself? (If the list is too overwhelming) What can I erase from this list to simplify it and yet still meet my goals (less is always more here)?
Tip #5: Accommodate Yourself
All of the tips so far have been forms of accommodation, but without personal insight, you will be lost when trying to figure out HOW to accommodate yourself.
I’ve seen it happen a lot. We ask for accommodations or help from others without accommodating ourselves in the process. This is a major reason we may fall short in the long run when it comes to self-improvement. Yes, we may need accommodations at work or in school to complete necessary tasks but what about in the home? Yes, it still matters in our homes!
Apply those same learning or work practices you may have in place (or wish you did) in your routine or schedule. For instance, many Neurodivergent people are visual learners or respond positively to visual stimuli. Try adding visual stimuli like color-coding tasks or drawing pictures for each task as a reminder. Others may need alarms as reminders or visual timers. Accommodating yourself by integrating the necessary help, functions, and self-acceptance that you may need, empowers you to press on and build motivation to stay motivated when it isn’t easy.
PRO TIP: Accommodating yourself is having insight, being kind and accepting of your own needs while also being practical and realistic about the help you may need!
It may also be helpful to write down your own checklists for the day, week, and/or month. Checklists keep you accountable and help you stay organized, focused, on task, and motivated. Checklists are especially needed for those who have planning or working memory issues to ensure you don’t forget parts of your routine and aids with completing multiple steps within a task. There is something magical about crossing off a completed item on a checklist. It means you accomplished that task. Checking off/crossing out each task on a checklist when it’s completed has also been shown to boost productivity and even make us feel good about ourselves!
PRO TIP: Allow yourself to celebrate the small wins, not just the big ones.
Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is still an accomplishment! Don’t let yourself forget that it’s the small accomplishments that add up to the big ones.
Tip #6: Be Prepared
The biggest component of being practical and realistic is understanding that the first (or second or third) thing you try may not work out for you, and that is okay! Figuring out what doesn’t work is often how we learn what does work. It’s a GOOD thing! It doesn’t mean you failed or even that you are not “good” at setting up routines and schedules. Instead, it means you tried something and it didn’t work, plain and simple! Everyone has to figure out which systems and techniques will work for them and that is commonly done through trial and error and being prepared for that is how you find your way.
Setting up and managing routines, just like coping with executive dysfunction, requires a series of skills that must be sharpened through practice. To turn practice into healthy habits, it takes commitment, time, and repetition. If you’re an adult and this is the first time you’re really applying yourself to these concepts make sure you’re patient and understanding with yourself. Being too hard on yourself hinders most of these tips and hurts your chances of following through, and there is no shame in self-improvement! I was 31 when I really started managing all of my executive functioning issues and I’m so happy I did.
Pro Tip: If you tend to be tactile and prefer using REAL objects in other areas of your life, doing the planning digitally probably isn’t a good idea, at least to start. If you’re a techie, tactile methods like using a pencil and paper may not work as well for you. Keep your personality and tendencies in mind when working through these tips!
It’s important to note that if we are in an unstable environment like a stressful work environment or chaotic home life, those can spill over into other areas like routine and schedules and it’s important to deal with your environment first.
The best part about most of these tips? You can apply these to almost ANY area of your life, just don’t forget about YOU in the process.
