Honesty that Empowers
“In a room where people unanimously maintain a conspiracy of silence,
one word of truth sounds like a pistol shot.”
This quote by Czesław Miłosz ,Polish-American poet explains how I felt after watching a truly insightful and candid interview of Radhika Gupta, conducted by Ranveer Allahabadi. While growing up, the society at large sets up standards of success and failures for us. Not only we start believing in them but also put in all our efforts to achieve the same. It’s only when we get to live that ‘success’ or ‘failure’ do we realize that the picture painted for us by others was incomplete, to say the least.
There are certain behavior and action standards set for us while at each junction of our lives; at school we have to get good grades and respect teachers, in college we have to again do the same along with securing a good job which pays well and so on. Being fed these rules and regulations we start to believe that following them religiously shall provide us the supposed ‘success’. The problem arises when we check all the to do items and yet remain deprived of the fruit we wish to relish, adding to our discontentment and confusion are people who might not have ticked all the standard behavior yet achieve the fruits. It’s only then we start to analyze and seek answers; the society who teaches us the rules either becomes evasive to our questions or blames it to our luck.
The truth is, there are no rules and set pattern to achieve anything in life, let alone success. I am sure most of us are aware of this by now but we still are unaware of the extent of it in each part of our lives, be it personal or professional. My own experiences coupled with what I have read, made me realize that each chapter we enter in our lives is a blank slate, our past actions and knowledge can be contextually applied but are not the secret ingredient to put out the perfect dish.
Taking the example of what Radhika Gupta discussed in her interview, she said: ‘the first two to three years in the corporate life are not glamorous’*. This is true for not just work life but also anything new we wish to partake, we have to learn the ABCDs of the task at hand and only then jump on to form sentences and later on deliver excellent stories.
Where we lack as a society is to set the correct expectations for the young ones, there are hardly any open discussions to explain the truth. Radhika Gupta, went to the best institutes to receive education and eventually secured a ‘good job’ at a great company, but she eventually was asking herself: ‘was I crying all the time for this ?’*. If truth be told, then there shall be times like these when all of us question ourselves for our unnecessary stress and tension for an action or result. The reason behind this is that people who have been through similar experiences do not share their own stories which includes a certain path of struggle and self doubt; I believe most people hide it or glamorize their story, omitting the failure and weak moments, only to maintain a perfect picture. If only we all come out in open and discuss the real story inclusive of failures, shall the young ones take informed actions and at the same time find it easier to sail through their own weak moments given the fact their idols have gone through the same and it’s a natural process of learning.
Failures are a part of life, yet we all are made to hide them from others. This sets the path to create incorrect expectations for the young ones, they start to believe that a red mark in the notebook, a low grade, losing a competition etc are all worthy of being hidden, for they showcase our inability to give our best. However the reality is that these failures are stepping stones in the process of learning, they make us realize which area needs more work and fine tuning. Achievements, though bring in happiness, are still transitory just like failures. What is important for all of us is to keep learning and sharing our truth with others so that they have a clear picture and can make informed decisions.
To conclude: Don’t be afraid of failures and keep in mind what JK Rowling famously said:
“It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.”
*quotes from the interview are not verbatim.
