On the can.
ROK and Roll! (my adventures in the land of soju, kimchi, Taekwondo and Twice ❤)
Can you imagine being stuck in a restaurant’s fish tank during a rainy day, watching through the glass the rain crashing down the street pavement while waiting to get turned into sashimi? What an horrifying vision. I have this thought in mind every time I cross paths with fish tanks in front of restaurants in the streets of Seoul. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I lived my life like if I was in one of them. These poor fish and octopus had no choice or control over their dark fate but I can. Can I? I must give it a try.
What a ride.
Some chapters of your life are chaotic like a mosh pit during a punk rock show, full of drunkenness and sex, while others are quiets like a seaside town at dawn.
Every time my phone is vibrating I rush to grab him like my life is depending on it, and I lately realized he was never more than 3 meters away from me. “He”, because at the end, I spent more time holding him in my hand than holding my own dick, I slept more time with him on my side than with any woman, he knows my deepest secrets, he’s around when I have sex and when I poop, he’s my masturbating buddy, we share the tough times but also the happiest moments… He basically became a part of me. Will I ever be that intimate with a human being, with my own children? But once in a while, weird shit happens. He’s vibrating and I don’t see any notifications on the screen. What the hell. I go through the apps, I click, scroll, swipe, but there’s nothing, no messages, likes, or replies. Just emptiness. It freaks me out. I feel cheated. Confused. Dumb.
Who’s the boss?
It feels more and more like we’re in a simulation, our lives being now dictated by algorithms we don’t even understand, algorithms so complicated, we call them artificial intelligence. They get our personality right, know our true desires and weaknesses, understand us better than our loved ones and can even notice when we feel depressed before them. On the other end, 2020 and the covid-19 pandemic was also about losing control, but to a far less effective and competent authority: Governments. These assholes totally fucked-up and made us pay the price for their incompetence by suddenly deciding how we should live our life, locking us up with no regards for our livelihood and wellbeing, pushing millions of people into poverty, and depression. What’s worse, disruptive technology or disruptive governments?
Your fear of being invisible and your need for validation have the toxic effect of making you a spectator of your own life. Your mind is never at the right time at the right place. At the end, you are nowhere to be found, except maybe on the grid of your Instagram account, where everyone can catch a glimpse of your — fictionalized — life. In some ways, you live in the past, you only exist through the mises en scene you caught on camera and the fake narratives you built around it. All that, to get likes, followers, and attention. How do you know who you are, or what you really experienced, if everything you told yourself and all the memories posted on social media, are false?
Boredom in the digital age doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t get people telling me they’re bored. How can you get bored when you have the fucking Internet. We live in an incredible era. You can learn new skills, grow your knowledge, start personal projects, create, read, write, work on yourself, workout, play video games, or procrasturbate, all that from the comfort of your home. Or you can still move your ass, go to a cafe, walk around the city, hike…
One the other end, some of us are not used to spend time alone anymore, I guess it’s scary. The persistent noise created by the useless and unlimited flow of information on social media and the daily life obligations are a way to keep your head in the sand to avoid confronting the truth. Some changes are needed.
Being bored means you have time. It’s also a privilege many don’t have. At least it was until covid-19 hit the world. It’s interesting to see how the ones wishing to have more time for themselves suddenly felt overwhelmed when lockdown happened around the globe. How parents felt exhausted from parenting 24 hours a day. How relationships imploded once people were stuck together and finally had the time to know each other better. And how the reality of having time for yourself suddenly became frightening.
Are we fucked?
What choice do we have as we’re stuck between two extremes. China and America.
The Chinese authoritarian Internet with no space for freedom of speech, where every interaction, shared thoughts, actions, are under the microscope and can send you in re-education camp forever, while your entire existence depends on your Social Credit, and the Great Firewall is keeping you under CCP’s control away from the rest of world and unable to seek the truth.
Or, the fake American democratic Internet, where the woke mob is one click away to cancel you, and GAFAM are stealing your personal datas and overfeeding you information like turkeys before Thanksgiving, making you unable to separate the truth from the lies, while their algorithms are controlling every aspect of your life without you even noticing it.
Human after all?
If you look at people carefully while walking around the streets. You’ll see how many of them don’t know how to walk or run properly — I’m not talking about handicap, here. We have lost touch with our humanity, lost our connection with nature and mother earth. Our purpose in life is to take risks, challenge ourselves, we are born from pain, pain makes us stronger. Pushing our limits, being able to deal with our darkness, dominating our fears, that’s what makes us better human beings. Humankind was meant to explore, and we can’t even properly do the most primitive and simple thing we are born to do. Put one foot in front of the other.