On “How to Win Friends & Influence People”
I just finished listening to the Audible version of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People and it’s been quite the read!
How to Win Friends & Influence People could be considered the quintessential self-help book and has become something of a cultural touchstone. I’m sure most people have heard of it, even if only because of numerous books with parody titles. My reading of late has had something of a people skills and management theme, so this felt like a must read.
There are some really good ideas here, like focusing on what the other person wants when negotiating, taking an interest in them first to make them feel important, and giving people you lead a reputation to live up to.
Granted, this is quite an old book — the first printing was in 1936, which left me in some confusion over just how long Mr Carnegie lived, since later reprints added references to Stevie Wonder. Being so old, it contains has some rather outdated concepts around family structures and a view on mental health that is now downright uncomfortable. Still, the majority of content is still relevant and shining the values of the past on today’s events can give them a new meaning.
The book is divided into sections with clear goals in mind, and a set of principles aimed towards achieving each wider goal. Consuming via an audiobook made it easy to lose one’s place in the lists of principles, so I may recommend getting a written copy over the audio version. If you’re feeling particularly extravagant, you could get a written copy as a supplement to the audio. For a less expensive, and perhaps more convenient refresher, the principles are also listed on Wikipedia.
There was a feeling I found difficult to shake throughout, which was that some of the ideas feel a bit, manipulative. One story in particular stood out, a tale of criticizing oneself to soften potential criticism from others, in this case, to get away with breaking a leash law. A later discovery that Charles Manson used the book to manipulate women into committing murder did nothing to lessen this feeling.
Overall, though, I got a lot from this book. And will endeavor to use these new found powers only for good.
