How We All Share Responsibility for the Moral Decay of Society
And how we can change the world for the better.
“The superior man is aware of righteousness. The inferior man is aware of advantage.” — Confucious
Remember the Motorola Razr V3? You know, the best-selling clamshell cellphone in the world to date? Yeah, that was a nice phone.
In the mid-2000s, everyone wanted to get their hands on one of those. It was elegant-looking, it had a nice VGA camera, a huge 2.2 inches screen sporting an impressive 176 x 220 pixels display resolution, 5.5 MB internal memory capacity, and its keypad was flat, metallic, and sophisticated.
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, that phone is essentially crap by today’s standards; but back in the day, it was top-of-the-line. It was the iPhone of its time, if that makes sense.
That being said, I once passed on an opportunity to own one. Specifically, I found a Razr and gave it back to its rightful owner a few minutes later.
The following day, I told the story to two of my acquaintances. One of them said “Well, I would have kept it. That’s what they get for being stupid and careless.” And the other one added, pointing at me, “And you are even more stupid to give it back. It was a freaking Razr you had right there, dumbass. What were you thinking?”
Now, what has this world come to when people call you an idiot for doing the right thing? Exactly: A world in which you are expected to be an opportunistic asshole. And that, my friend, is one of the biggest problems in the world today:
We live in a society that commends shamelessness and condemns integrity. People justify their acts of thievery by deluding themselves into thinking that they are entitled to something because someone else failed to take proper care of it.
I took the phone momentarily for one simple reason: if I hadn’t, it would have been stolen. A lot of people are more than willing to take other people’s property because they think it’s the smart thing to do.
They also seem to believe these acts of immorality are acceptable based on the high number of individuals who commit them. You know, “it’s okay because everyone else does it, anyway.”
This mindset may not seem that bad on the surface, but as it turns out, its repercussions are severe and long-reaching. This is, pretty much, the main reason why moral logic in the world seems to be turned upside-down.
We‘ve created a society based on double standards
“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.” ― Stephen M.R. Covey
In 2013, my fellow countryfolks were appalled to learn that our beloved national soccer team had been taking bribes to lose several matches in foreign lands.
According to the official investigation, some players were offered up to $18,000 in exchange for an easy win. As a result, 14 of our players were expelled from the team for life, had to change careers, and have not been seen in a soccer field ever since.
The public, as you can imagine, did not react well to this. In social media, everyone referred to these 14 characters as “garbage”, “backstabbers”, “lowlifes”, and other adjectives I’d rather not mention here.
Some went as far as suggesting the players “ought to be put to death by fire”. Whether they were being serious or not is beyond me.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less:
- For one thing, I’ve been a geek all my life, and as such, I’ve never been into team sports. In fact, televised soccer matches put me to sleep.
- Also, I knew most of those angry people who wanted the 14 players tarred and feathered for taking bribes, in all likelihood, would have done the exact same thing if they had had the chance.
It’s easy to take jabs at someone else’s dishonest behavior, but it’s hard to recognize these same attitudes in ourselves. And it’s when we fail to do so that we fall for the trap of double standards.
In a country where most people have serious economic problems, passing on a chance to get $18 grand is not easy. That amount of money could easily buy two or three second-hand cars, pay off bank loans and credit cards, be used to open a small business, or pay for expensive medical treatments.
Of course, I’m not saying it’s okay to take bribes. All I’m saying is I understand why people take them.
Now, why are we humans so inclined to commit acts of crookedness and treachery, even when we know they’re intrinsically wrong?
Well, it seems to me this happens because most of us forget that professed integrity should go hand in hand with consistency. For example:
- We complain about government officials taking money from your taxes under the table, but we’re okay with stealing the WiFi signal from the people living next door.
- We complain about the neighbor’s dog pooping on our front porch every day, but we’re fine with letting our cat loose at night to violently mate outside their window.
- We openly make fun of our co-workers’ personal philosophies and lifestyles, but we get offended whenever someone expresses a hint of disagreement toward our convictions or religious beliefs.
There’s a lack of consistency here: Our actions directly contradict what we claim to stand for, and that is not okay.
We expect people to be righteous, but we’re not righteous ourselves. We expect people to be considerate, but we’re not considerate to them. We expect others to respect our opinions and ideas, but we’re not willing to respect theirs.
The truth is, we cannot get what we are not willing to give. If we want to live in a society in which integrity is the rule, our lives should be an example of integrity. There’s no way around it.
There’s a sort of golden rule that goes like this “Do for others that which you would like to be done for you”. Fair enough, but I would add the following line: “Also don’t do to them anything you wouldn’t like to be done to you, dumbass.”
Children are the living legacy of our lack of integrity
“As a parent, I have a job as a role model to my children, and by extension, to other young people.” — Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Ever noticed how a lot of people show incredibly unsympathetic behavior towards others, and some end up becoming criminals, even when they have had a seemingly normal upbringing?
You know what I’m talking about. You’ve surely seen parents cry in disbelief at what their children have become, wondering “Where did I go wrong?”. You may also have seen them telling off their children, frowning and saying “I do not recall raising a child like you.”
However, they probably did.
If you’re a parent, you might (I said might, okay?) be guilty of doing one or several of the following mistakes, which may not seem a big deal, but can actually have serious consequences:
- Remember that time you cut in line at the funfair so you didn’t have to wait thirty minutes to get your kid some cotton candy? That’s the day you taught your child to step over everyone else’s rights so they can get what they want the minute they want it.
- Remember that day you told your neighbor you couldn’t go on a picnic with him and his family because you “had to visit your sick grandma at the hospital”? That’s the day you taught your child to tell big, fat lies to get out of unwanted situations.
- Remember that day your child cried his eyes out for that candy at the supermarket, and you ended up buying it for him to shut him up? That’s the day you taught your kid that they’re entitled to anything they want — deservingly or not — if they only complain hard enough to get it.
- Remember that family trip and its three-hour ride during which you disposed of your junk through your car window (and had your kid do the same)? That’s the day you taught your child others are there to clean up after his or her mess.
- Remember that day you allowed your child to break your spouse’s rules behind their back? That’s the day you taught your child that authority can be undermined. Also, that’s the day your child learned that authority figures can be convinced to turn a blind eye to their wrongdoings.
- Remember that day you were overjoyed because the cashier mistakenly gave you the wrong change and you used that extra money to buy a can of beer? That’s the day you taught your child that the phrase “what people don’t know won’t hurt them” extends to stealing from them.
- Finally, remember that day you instructed your child to tell the collector you weren’t home, while you were hiding silently in your bedroom? That’s the day you taught your child payment responsibilities can be postponed or avoided altogether. Also, that’s the day you taught your child to be an accomplice.
It’s true, parents don’t go telling their children to steal smaller kids’ lunch money at school, to start a meth business, or kidnap someone to get a ransom. Or rather, they never state it directly. Instead, they do it in a much subtler way. So subtle, in fact, that the damage they do to their children goes completely unnoticed to them.
We plant the seed of shameless opportunism in the minds of our children by exposing them to a constant streak of small immoral behaviors that, over the course of the years, reinforce in them the idea that integrity is for losers.
You might be thinking “Well, children learn all kinds of terrible things from other children as well, so I’m not completely accountable for how they turn out.” Well, where do you think these “other children” got all that from? Exactly: Their parents, or whoever is in charge of them.
Bad role-modeling is reproduced from parents to children, who in turn transmit it to other kids. So if you think you’re raising your own children only, you are mistaken. And the worst part of it is, we all pay for this mistake.
Corrupt leaders are the product of immoral societies
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” — Abraham Lincoln
My home country is a paradise. A paradise for criminals, that is.
(I trash-talk my country a lot. I know, I know.)
Down here we have a long and sad history of extremely corrupt leaders who promised to move heaven and earth to improve living conditions for their fellow citizens, only to end up diverting millions of dollars from public funds into their personal bank accounts, buy ridiculously luxurious houses, secure the financial future of their friends and families, and travel the world over and over and over again.
In the meanwhile, the people they swore to serve work long hours for minimum wages, rent houses they just can’t afford to buy, die in public hospitals waiting in line just to get admitted in, and get killed on their way back home by robbers and gang members. It’s a mess.
This begs the question: How can these leaders even sleep at night knowing they’ve have caused so much harm to their own countrymen, the same people they swore to protect and serve?
Joseph de Maistre, an 18th-century European philosopher, once said:
“Every nation gets the government it deserves.”
This phrase can be interpreted in two ways:
- Vote wisely and have a good government, vote dumb and get a terrible one. Fair enough. I agree — to some extent.
- Government leaders are a direct reflection of the cultural demographic they represent. A righteous society will produce upright leaders, whereas an immoral society will produce corrupt ones. Now, this an interpretation I fully agree with.
Allow me to elaborate through a series of examples.
Example 1
About ten years ago, during my university days, I was having lunch by myself at the campus cafeteria. When I finished, I stood up, took my backpack, and started walking away, ready for my next class.
About thirty seconds later, however, I realized I had forgotten my windbreaker on the chair I was sitting on. Naturally, I went back for it, hoping I would still find it there.
Guess what? It was gone without a trace.
Example 2
An Asian friend of mine used to ride his bike to campus every morning and would park it outside one of the buildings, completely unchained.
I once walked over and told him “Listen, I don’t know how you do things in Taiwan, but down here, you’d better chain your bike to a tree or a lamppost. Trust me on this.”
He disregarded my warning and got his bike stolen just a few days later.
Example 3
Another friend once saw a complete stranger passing by her house under the pouring rain. In an act of kindness, she went out onto the street, handed the man an umbrella, and said to him, “This is where I live, you can bring it back when you have a chance.”
Needless to say, she never saw the guy or the umbrella again.
Point is, when we live in a society based on shameless opportunism, how can we expect to have righteous leaders? Let’s get real here:
If a regular citizen is willing to become a thief over an old windbreaker, a second-hand bicycle, or a rusty umbrella, how can we possibly expect people in positions of power not to steal huge amounts of money out of our pockets the first chance they get?
Now, immoral leadership happens inside and outside the government sphere. In fact, and quite sadly, this phenomenon occurs in every level of society, in every field and department imaginable: Education, religion, healthcare, entertainment, justice, etc.
Corrupt leaders are willing to forget everything they are supposed to stand for when offered a chance for personal gain. In the end, they’re the product of a society that lacks integrity as a core value. They’re not any different from the bribe-taking soccer players, the two guys who told me I was an idiot for giving back a cool phone to its rightful owner, or the university student who stole my jacket.
We have criminals for leaders because we’re criminals ourselves. Joseph de Maistre was right. We do have the leaders we deserve.
Sadly, most people are completely unaware of this reality, which leads directly to my next point.
Self-Righteousness prevents us from taking responsibility for the current state of the world
“Though there is no evil in righteousness, there is in self-righteousness,” ―David Pietrusza
Nearly all of us, to some extent, suffer from what I call “Self-Righteousness Syndrome”; that is, the belief that we, as individuals, are naturally good, while the rest of the world is inherently bad.
We think “I’m not a bad person”; and while it may be true, we all (myself included, of course) should probably sit down and reflect on what we’re doing wrong. And believe me, we are doing a lot of things wrong. Just take a moment to reflect on the following:
- Are you helping those in need at home or in your community?
- Are you incorruptibly upright at work?
- Is your conduct sexually appropriate?
- Are you truly respectful and considerate to your neighbors?
- Are you an actually-good role-model to your children?
- Are you completely fair and unbiased during conflict solving processes?
- Are you one-hundred percent faithful to your partner or spouse?
- Are you truly incapable of stealing physical or intellectual property?
- Do you really respect the privacy, beliefs, and decisions of others?
- Can you do your job without sabotaging the work of your peers?
- Are you sure you never do anything intending to harm others or take advantage of them in any way?
When you question yourself like this, you will probably realize you’re not as good as you think you are. But that’s not a bad thing; at least, not completely.
After all, we’re only human, and as such, we’re imperfect. And as we all know, when something is imperfect, there’s room for improvement; which leads me to my final point.
There is hope for the future — if we all act now.
“Yesterday, I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” — Rumi
As I’ve said before, we’re all accountable for the current shape of our society and our governments are natural products of our integrity-lacking culture.
Yet, we’re always keeping an eye on the next presidential candidate, expecting a sort of political messiah to start a positive revolution and straighten up our rather crooked current situation.
You see, that’s the problem. A real revolution for the greater good of the world won’t come from top to bottom, but from bottom to top. In other words, a change will only happen when we, the common folk, decide to take action.
Only by taking responsibility for the current shape of society today can we actually do something to change things for the better.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “Everyone talks about leaving a better planet to our kids. How about we leave better kids for our planet?” It may sound cliched, but its message is absolutely true and highly relevant to society today.
We can change the world by promoting the celebration of righteousness and discouraging instances of wrongdoings and double standards; and especially by raising our children on absolute integrity, not only at instructive level but by being upright role models to them.
I never saw my parents stealing from others or being unfaithful to each other. As a result, I’ve never stolen a thing in my life and I’m proud to say I’ve never, ever cheated on my wife or any other girl I dated before.
Now, guess what? My parents never told me “Stealing is wrong.” Or “Cheating on your girl is wrong.” No. They merely set the right example (for which I’m thankful) and I followed suit.
And while I still have a long way to go to achieve complete integrity, I can go to bed every night knowing that, during the course of the day, I did not do anything with the intention to harm or take advantage of anybody, in any way. I thank mom and dad for that, too.
Now that I’m a parent myself, I do all I can to set a good example for my child, and I do my best to be consistent with my own moral code, behavior-wise.
I often talk to my daughter about doing the right thing and staying away from opportunism, and you know what? She’s turning out to be a pretty decent, considerate, and well-intended little girl.
My wife and I are doing our part to contribute to society by raising a righteous child. We’ve made mistakes along the way, I won’t deny that, but we’ve never lost sight of our goal: Child-raising based on integrity in both word and deed.
If more of us adopt a lifestyle based on pure integrity and manage to transmit this value to our children, the world will change for the better. In fact, this is the only possible way we can hope to achieve such a gargantuan task.
In the words of Ashley Montagu, “the family is the basis of society.” Families based on opportunism will perpetuate the decaying state of the world, but families based on integrity will lead to a society in which righteousness prevails.
It won’t happen overnight, but it can happen someday if we make an actual effort to turn things around and start now.
