How to Host a Processing Session for Sexual Violence Survivors This Week (post-Kavanaugh Confirmation)
60 Minute Sample Agenda and Facilitation Guide
**This article was originally posted on October 7, 2018, two days after the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh as the U.S. Supreme Court Justice, despite Dr. Chrstine Blasey Ford’s testimony about his alleged sexual assault**
The past few weeks have been hell for sexual violence survivors.
Discussions about sexual assault and harassment have been unavoidable for many, with news articles and personal stories being shared en masse on TV, radio, and social media. These conversations, while important, can be extremely triggering and exhausting for survivors, because they force us to remember and re-live our trauma over and over again.
Awaken has been receiving an influx of requests from various organizations and companies to help facilitate discussions around the rising tension around the #MeToo movement, with more and more business leaders recognizing the importance of addressing the need of their teams head-on and with courage.
If you’re wanting to host a processing session (note that processing is the goal here, not action-planning, debating, or healing) for survivors this week but aren’t sure where to start or how to design it, here’s a sample agenda you can check out. Please note, the agenda should be modified based on your goals, intentions, team culture, and needs.
Before proceeding, please read 6 Things to Keep in Mind when hosting a #MeToo Discussion Circle at Work first and answer key questions regarding your goal, logistics, facilitators, audience, and more.
Sample Processing Session Agenda (60 Minutes)
- Clarify the session purpose and set expectations (2 min)
Sample talking points: “we realize this is not going to provide all the answers or space we need to heal or action plan, but we wanted to create a space for us to gather as a community to acknowledge what we may be feeling collectively. We’ll spend the next 60 minutes processing and identifying what we can do to support one another as well as ourselves.” - Set discussion ground rules (3 min)
In order to create a safe/brave space, agree to keep all discussions ad identifiers confidential. Set other basic agreements as a collective group before proceeding (e.g., no interruptions, respecting individual boundaries, consensual sharing, etc.) - Provide individual reflection / writing time (5–10 min)
Sample questions for participants: How are you feeling? What do those feelings say about your needs that are not being met? - Small group discussion (10–15 min)
Break into small groups of 3–4 people and discuss what came up during the self-reflection exercise. - Larger group share out (10 min)
Have a few people volunteer their reflections, reactions, or questions. - Individual self-care strategies brainstorm (10 min)
Allow folks to think about ways they’d like to be supported this week and write them down on a piece of paper.
a) What can I do for myself this week / weeks to come? (3–5 things)
b) What can others do for me / what can I ask of others? (3–5 things)
c) Who can I turn to for additional support this week at work? (1–3 people) - Share in small groups of 3–4 (10 min)
In the same group as before (the continuity will help with trust and intimacy and save time), share different ideas so people can borrow and learn from each other. - Larger group share out (5-10 min)
Have a few people volunteer their strategies, reactions, or questions. - Affirmations (5 min)
Ask folks to write an affirmation or a positive reminder on a sticky note and give it to someone (or post it on a wall to create a “wall of affirmations” that you can take a photo of and share out — or put it in the hallway!). Sample affirmations / reminders can look like: “You matter to me” “Take a breath” “I believe you” “You’re not alone” - Closing (3–5 min)
Remind folks to practice compassion this week for themselves and others, and follow-up with additional resources in email (e.g., mental health services they can access, self-care tips, reminders to people managers on how to create more spaciousness, Sexual Assault Hotline at 800–656-HOPE or visit online at RAINN.org, etc.)
Important Things to Remember (Always, but especially this week):
- Not all survivors want to talk about their experiences and that’s okay — respect your or others’ boundaries. Always ask for permission before discussing topics related to #MeToo.
- Sexual violence and gender-based violence aren’t limited to straight, cisgender women. They impact queer, trans, non-binary, and gender nonconforming people as well as men, in addition to countless women. When discussing #MeToo, don’t just address “women” — address “survivors” so you’re not erasing other survivors’ experiences
- Sexual violence and gender-based violence can happen in any context — at work, at home, in public, in private, in intimate relationships, or with strangers. One form of violence doesn’t trivialize the other. All experiences matter
- Use content / trigger warning before sharing any sexual violence related content on social media or via email/chat (e.g., “Content Warning: Graphic Details of Sexual Violence). Let others choose whether they’d like to consume the content. No matter how impactful, graphic stories or images could re-traumatize and force people to re-live their past experiences.
At this year’s Grace Hopper Celebration, Dr. Anita Hill reminded us of the importance of self-care along the journey towards equity and justice:
“When you become so discouraged and tired, take a pause. Just a pause. Then always check back in. We need you.” — Dr. Anita Hill.
This week, let’s help each other take a brief pause.
Let’s practice compassion for ourselves and others so we can come back stronger than ever to continue the fight for equity and justice.
If you’re in a position of power at your workplace, use your power to support those who may be feeling heavy and allow for more spaciousness.
All of your stories matter. You matter.
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About Michelle Kim
Michelle is an entrepreneur, activist, speaker, and writer passionate about empowering individuals and organizations to create positive change. She is the Co-Founder and CEO of Awaken, a leading provider of experiential and modern Diversity & Inclusive workshops and Modern Manager™ training.
