How to stop overthinking for good and make quicker decisions
This is one is for all the overthinkers. In my early 20s, I found myself debating for 2 to 4 hours whether I should go to a birthday party or not, every option and every implication of my decision. It was agonizing and horrible. I’d seek the opinions of others until I later understand that the answer was within me all along and I needed to be still, listen and get in tune with what my body was saying and how it was responding.
It’s taken me years and it’s a constant practice to stop the overthinking. My overthinking would turn to Rumination. Rumination is a repetitive thought process that involves dwelling on negative feelings, distress, and their causes and consequences. Now that I have created a better system that I am improving upon daily which is such a relief because my head is that much clearer. I can now focus on other areas of my life that need my time and attention.
4 ways I stopped my overthinking
- Journal!! Journaling is so important. I used to journal daily in college, carrying a notebook where I would write every single little thought and note. I didn’t realize how healing it was at the time or how I could lean into the practice to make it that much more useful. I try to write at least every single day and sometimes, if I’m diligent about my time, I can write in the morning and evening. I usually journal as a prayer starting with “Dear God or Dear Jesus” and write my stream of consciousness until there is nothing left to write. I dump everything in my head, out onto paper in my handwriting. It’s important to only read back the good parts as a spiritual practice because you don’t want to put all the trash you just spit out back into your soul. I have stopped going to therapists because through my journaling did I figure out my attachment styles, did I figure out illnesses, did I figure out how to heal, did I process trauma — it’s been through self-dialogue and dialogue with God. I truly believe I am the expert of myself so I need to get out of my own way. Journaling is a wonderful way to listen to your soul.
- When I start to overthinking in rumination or catastrophizing — I look for evidence. For example, sometimes, if I haven’t heard from someone in a long time, I think they’ve died or that they hate me for no reason at all. I now ask myself what evidence supports these bad thoughts and usually there isn’t any evidence — it turns out that usually the person is perfectly healthy and alive. They just got caught up in their own lives and will get back to me as soon as they are able.
- SAUNA SAUNA SAUNA. I used to also say do a hard workout because usually all you can think about it truly being in the present moment. I can no longer due crazy workouts because my body is recovering from high cortisol and I don’t want to put my body through undue pressure. In lieu of a workout, the sauna is the perfect alternative. Try to go in the sauna and think about ANYTHING. I love my sauna sisters and having deep conversations with the women there, but ultimately, all I can focus on is that moment — breathing and the heat. I used to love the sauna in college and found such comfort after a workout but now I’m much more conscious of why I loved it so much and it’s significance on my healing journey.
- Increasing your confidence can significantly reduce overthinking by fostering a sense of self-assurance and clarity in decision-making. When you’re confident, you trust your abilities and judgments, which diminishes the need to endlessly second-guess yourself. This trust in your capabilities allows you to make decisions more decisively, reducing the mental clutter and anxiety that come from constant self-doubt. Confidence helps you focus on the present moment and the actions you can take, rather than being paralyzed by potential negative outcomes or hypothetical scenarios. Consequently, this shift in mindset can streamline your thoughts, leading to a calmer and more focused mental state.
After my overthinking improved. I leverage 2 more filters to decide if I’m going to engage with an event, activity, interaction, job interview etc.:
- If it doesn’t bring me inspiration or income, I don’t do it. Inspiration and/or income are quite large buckets so if something isn’t making me feel motivated and happy, I shouldn’t give any energy to it.
- If it’s not a ABSOLUTE YES. It’s a no. I have gotten myself into trouble time and time again being lukewarm about environments, people and situations. I’ve settled and then had to deal with the consequences and the work of course correcting. I was on a plane a few years ago and was having a pleasant conversation with the woman next to me. We were talking about Ayurverdic practices and her spiritual teacher advised her to always go with her first thought. If the first thought is a no, it’s a no. If the first thought is a yes, the second thought is often doubt, excuses or other things that eventually creep in. It has been a daily practice to go with my first thought, my most authentic self and to stick with that decision. Life is much simpler this way.
Hope this helps you on your journey. If you need to chat — feel free to book time with me here.
Love,
Sasha Mack
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Sasha Mack, a graduate of Cornell University with a BA and an MBA from the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, is a multifaceted professional who seamlessly blends business acumen with artistic creativity and personal development coaching. Born and raised in Fairfield, Connecticut, Mack has leveraged her education and experiences to make significant contributions in various fields. Her professional journey includes roles at Bridgewater Associates and Meta, board membership at a non-profit and private school, and involvement with Lawyers for Children. As an accomplished artist, Mack is known for her unique handmade creations, particularly her “Black Sheep Collection,” which explores themes of individuality and non-conformity. Additionally, she works as an authenticity coach, helping others uncover their purpose and passion. Mack’s diverse achievements, from academic excellence to artistic innovation, reflect her commitment to personal growth and positive impact in both business and community spheres.
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