The Cognitive Dissonance of Black Womanhood: Growing Up “Ugly”
A recent study done by Glamour in conjunction with L’OREAL Paris shows that black women have more overall confidence than white or hispanic women. The study reports, “they were far more likely to describe themselves as successful (44 percent said so, compared with 30 percent of white women and 21 percent of Hispanic) and beautiful (59 percent, versus 25 and 32 percent)”. This confidence is most likely due to black women’s upbringing, which attempts to combat the harmful effects of racism and discrimination they’ve had to face for hundreds of years. I can personally testify that as a young black woman I was raised to believe my skin color and hair were beautiful, regardless of others’ opinions. Being that I grew up overweight, it was especially instilled in me that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Curves are a common appreciation in the black community. It’s highlighted that this appreciation started, “long before body acceptance became a fashionable marketing campaign or empowering hashtag”. So if acceptance and self-love are things that black women are vehemently taught, how come so many of us still feel unworthy of appreciation? What about the other 41%, and I’d argue more, of us who still grow up feeling unattractive with low self-esteems?
Despite the encouraging words of my upbringing, I still felt very strange obligations as a fat, dark-skinned black girl. These obligations were to: 1) show others that being fat and “ugly” didn’t mean I couldn’t perform femininity in the way I interpreted as correctly: and 2) simultaneously be as invisible as humanly possible as to not impose my ugliness on unsuspecting others. I felt this pressure because I could never quite believe my family’s words; I constantly saw rail-thin white models be the end all be all of beauty growing up in the early 2000s. This created a sense of cognitive dissonance that I, and I’m sure many other black women, still struggle with to this day. It’s difficult to know what to believe and who to listen to when the majority is saying one thing and your family is saying another. The pressures of living up to the unattainable European standards of beauty are painful and discouraging enough. However, because of the history of racism and discrimination for black women, the pressure is compounded by the perpetuation of rampant racial stereotyping. Before there can be true positive and enriching representation of black women in the media, an expulsion of dated racial ideology and stereotyping is imperative.
According to The Everygirl, I’m not alone in my experience in feeling isolated as a young black girl. Grace, who did a feature with the online publication and has her own magazine called Sorella Magazine, feels that media continues to fail young black women. She attests that, “From a young age, we are bombarded with images of what a real woman looks like (namely, white women with bone-straight hair and stick-thin bodies). When comparing ourselves to society’s European standard of beauty, Black women and girls find themselves lacking.” This type of exclusion leads to black women growing up thinking their features and bodies aren’t in and of themselves beautiful, which leads to longer term self-worth issues. Grace ultimately makes the argument that in order for things to change we need to: 1) create our own platforms to voice our own concerns as black women and 2) to call out lack of diversity in the media, including the lack of diversification in black imagery. I totally agree that these are great starting points, but I also believe we have to dispel the deeply seated ideologies formed by slavery and discrimination through the infiltration of predominantly white spaces. We need society to truly see us as our mothers, grandmothers, and aunties do when they encourage us and instill the confidence that keeps us going. Black women should not experience confusion about the messages we receive about the beauty we posses.
Nowadays, there are constant efforts to create spaces specifically for black women and to encourage black women to express themselves unapologetically. Artists and beauty moguls like Lizzo and Pat McGrath have been able to define beauty for themselves and for other black women in the mainstream, of course not without struggle. They were given a chance to be heard outside of spaces made specifically for black women, which will never diminish in importance; however, this can’t be the only way that black women can share narratives. It’s just as important for black women to have a voice in predominantly white spaces so that we can continue redefining beauty for ourselves and helping to dispel the harmful history we’ve had to endure. It’s the duty of our white allies to step aside and give us that space. Ultimately, this will come to benefit all women because the dismantling of unattainable expectations of beauty will eventually deconstruct strictly European beauty standards. As with all movements, it’s a group effort and will be a benefit to all.
Sources
Dreisbach, Shaun. “Why Black Women Are More Confident Than Any Other Group of Females.”Glamour, Glamour, 1 Aug. 2017, www.glamour.com/story/black-women-more-confident-other-groups-females-survey.
“Representation for Black Women Is More Than a Request, It’s a Necessity.” The Everygirl, 3 June 2020, theeverygirl.com/representation-for-black-women-is-more-than-a-request-its-a-necessity/.
