Aloneness vs Loneliness

We all went through situations when it felt like we have a million thoughts going through our heads yet we can’t say a single word. Being a non-talkative person by nature was the reason I started writing, to overcome this type of situations by expressing the thoughts in my head but on paper. The “I”s used in my writings do not necessarily refer to me, but used mainly to speak on behalf of every person reading, “I” is the voice inside your head when you feel that you can’t speak for yourself.

I've been nicknamed autism, I've been called grumpy and people think I’m a lonely person. Not true, all of this, not true. I may not be that much of a social-butterfly but I make friends almost anywhere I go. I may not turn heads in the street with my smile but I’m not frowning all the time either. I enjoy my alone time a lot yet I’m far from being lonely and this is what I want to talk about. BTW lonely and alone have the same meaning in the dictionary but that doesn't mean they have the same meaning in real life.

What is loneliness? It is a negative state of mind, a lack, a feeling of being incomplete and a need for something/someone to eliminate the fear of abandonment and neglect. Aloneness is the total opposite, it is fullness, the joy of being and the sheer independence. Aloneness is overflowing love, it is the feeling that you are enough and that nobody is needed. This may sound crazy but if you give yourself the chance to really understand the difference, your perception will definitely alter. I went through loneliness although I live in one of the most crowded cities in the world. I used to be surrounded with people yet it felt like I was in the desert. Going through this is never easy, this is the kind of negativity that leads to depression. But like I do with almost any situation I face in life, I did with loneliness, understood it and uncovered the lesson I was supposed to learn. Here are simply some of the benefits of aloneness:

  • It helps the mind clear up and de-stress:

Our lifestyle has become very fast and hectic, grab a chance to slow down a bit.

  • It improves concentration and productivity:

If you have an unfinished project, spending time alone will always help you accomplish more since there will be less distractions.

  • It gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice:

If you've been caught up lately in (family/work/relationship) issues then it’s a TIME OUT call, give yourself some time as much as you give other people in order to be able to give them more.

  • It makes you think deeper:

There’s always a phase in life when you have a lot to do, spending some alone time will help you set your priorities straight to end that “to do list”.

  • Being alone is becoming more independent ENOUGH SAID
  • It enhances the quality of your relationships with others:

It will help you be more appreciative of the people you have in life.

  • Most important benefit, it will help you accept the fact that you’re enough to make yourself happy.

There are of course a lot of other benefits but I tried to highlight the main pros of aloneness, hoping I was able to help.

Karim Marc