Top 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
by Tanya Rawal-Jindia and Michalene Perry
STAR has resources available to help teens engage in healthy relationships. We advocate for and support them in building healthy relationship habits! To raise awareness this month, we compiled a list of the Top 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship.
- You Share Mutual Respect
Love might just be a poetic synonym for respect! Respect can look like active listening, kindness in communication, or appreciation for a person’s differences. But it’s important to know that these things — when received — feel like love.
pro-tip: be patient with yourself while you figure out how to give and receive the level of respect that lets you love the deepest and feel the most loved
2. You Encourage Each Other’s Independence
Holding space and flexibility in a relationship for each person to explore their hobbies, bond with friends, and/or practice self-care translates to each person feeling trusted and respected (or loved!).
pro-tip: pursuing and maintaining your individual interests in a relationship can create more opportunities for you to practice self-love, which can strengthen all of your relationships
3. You Engage in Open Communication
Willingness to discuss any and all topics, even if it means agreeing to disagree, will enhance a relationship. This type of communication requires listening attentively and without judgment, speaking respectfully, and avoiding accusations.
pro-tip: timing is key when it comes to communication, so make sure you are setting aside the time you need to bring your full attention to a conversation
4. You Actively Accept Each Other’s Differences
Everyone is different. In a healthy, thriving relationship, it is these differences that need to be cherished, respected, and embraced. This is especially important since these differences can often be identified as the root-cause of misunderstandings and disagreements. Take the time to articulate and honor the differences each person has in a relationship so that everyone can be aware of what tools they are working with when it comes to problem-solving within the relationship.
pro-tip: to effectively honor a person’s differences, first learn to fully accept yourself and the value you bring
5. You Respect and Create Healthy Boundaries
Self-awareness is the main pre-requisite to setting healthy boundaries! Boundaries can generate safety in a relationship and in setting them you are able to communicate your self-respect to others. Accept that boundaries can be either permanent or fluid, this will not only help you in navigating your own boundaries as well as others, but it will also give you more opportunities to learn more about yourself. Over time you will learn which boundaries reflect your core values as those will likely not change too much, and you will also learn how you have evolved over time as other boundaries may shift as you grow.
pro-tip: clearly communicating your boundaries in any relationship can reduce conflict or resentment!
6. You Offer a Network of Support
Having a relationship that brings you a steady feeling of support can be empowering. And if that relationship encourages you in maintaining a broader, more diverse support group of friends, family, neighbors, and/or co-workers, well that’s priceless. Strong connections can help us all in navigating life. A healthy relationship will not only offer the support you need but it will also provide space for you to develop multiple avenues of support.
pro-tip: receiving support and empathy from multiple people will increase your own capacity to offer support and empathy
7. You Prioritize Kindness, Consistently
Kindness in a relationship can come in multiples shapes and sizes. Consistently speaking with care, creating a safe space, being responsible for your actions and how they might impact your relationship, and just smiling are some of the basic ways to prioritize kindness.
pro-tip: consistency is key with kindness; if you lack consistency, your kindness may not be trusted
8. You Act with Empathy
Even if your partner can’t directly relate to what you’re going through, they should be able to understand and share in your feelings with the goal of being a pillar of support in your experience(s). Where sympathy can come across as pity, empathy goes into more depth and truly seeks to understand the way the other person feels.
pro-tip: empathy does not mean that you can know what a person might think, say, or do — it only allows you to connect with how they feel
9. You Share a Commitment to Honesty
The truth is the greatest gift we can give people and sometimes its all we have the capacity to offer. In a relationship, sharing a commitment to honesty means no one is in the position of having to hide themselves.
pro-tip: being honest in a relationship can give you a sense of extreme freedom
10. You are Having Fun Most of the Time!
Relationships can be hard work. If you find yourself spending more time on the work and less time on the fun, then it’s possible something needs to change. Part of being in a healthy relationship is having the capacity and safety to walk away from it when the relationship is no longer serving your joy.
pro-tip: proactive relationship counseling can keep your relationship fun and exciting
According to the CDC:
- An estimated 1 in 11 teenage girls and 1 in 15 teenage boys have experienced some form of physical dating violence during the last year.
- About 1 in 8 female and 1 in 26 male high school students have experienced some kind of sexual dating violence in the last year.
- Some 26 percent of teenage girls have experienced some form of sexual abuse in a dating relationship.
- Sexual minority groups, such as teens who identify as LBGTQ+ and those who are part of racial and ethnic minorities, experience teen dating violence at rates higher than their white, heterosexual peers.
These statistics show the importance of prevention education amongst teenagers. When they are able to identify signs of a healthy relationship, they can alternatively recognize when things are unhealthy.
If you would like to help STAR continue providing resources for teens, as well as our other services, please consider donating $10 dollars to celebrate our 10th anniversary!
