The New Age Of Villainy


Beware of Darker Brothers games. This new Viacom subsidiary is staffed with some of history’s most recent villains. These fiends have devised a new plot to conquer the world. By instilling their image and position in childhood games and toys, they will become icons of a generation and will rise to power as their targets mature and take over Each Dark Brothers game from “Lotten Plunder’s Not Sorry” To “Shredda’s KerDUNKED!” comes with carefully crafted subliminal messages and instructions. These compel the player to buy and consume everything that the false icons offer onto the market. Research groups have proven that test subjects exposed to Darker Brother games had greater tendencies towards socially deviant behavior. This conditioning is known to as jellystoneisim, a mass hypnosis technique first observed by accident with the syndication of Yogi Bear. An epidemic of lunch thefts were recorded the year Yogi Bear hit the height of his popularity. This one event has issued in subsequent generations of petty thefts that has resulted in the modern day refrigerator burglar.


Krang and Lord Zed came to this plot over a game of mini golf in a freshly decimated city. The two realized the consumerism and information had drowned the conventional villain. They felt the only way to carry on their lineage was to install themselves into heart and mind of every home in America. The board game was the weapon of choice.

Keep you wits about you in this modern market place. Watch where you money goes and support those who deserve it.


Originally published Friday July, 15th 2005 at

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