African Women, Stop Shrinking Yourself
Tales of diaspora living and a lesson from Chimamanda
An African woman living in the diaspora has some very precarious odds stacked against her. Especially if she was born and raised in a family system within the continent that felt women’s voices and elevation in life were a threat. Now, when you leave such an environment and come into places like the US for example, you encounter a whole different kind of beast: racism. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie once put it beautifully when she said, “I wasn’t black until I came to America. I became black in America.”
In the diaspora, your intellect and voice now become a threat not just because you are woman, but because you are now “black.” This arbitrary (and quite frankly, unusual) term used to describe people of a certain phenotype — more of my opinion about this and other terms like, ‘people of color’ will be discussed in the future.
As a result, the default as an African woman living outside of Africa is to shrink. To dim yourself down to make others comfortable. To subjugate your soul in order to appease and soothe the gaze of people who see you as less than.
A funny thing happened just a few days ago. Chimamanda, this awe-inspiring icon of mine, was rejected from an international (translation, non-Nigerian) magazine that claimed that her picture was too glamorous.
Yes. That happened. The F***ing effrontery.
Needless to say, if Chimamanda was not Chimamanda, if she was not an unmistakably dark-skinned African woman, if she was not an African woman…
This unabashed disrespect and insulting childishness would not have occurred.
The world expects her to show up and present herself looking like the stereotypical malnourished African with eyes that scream, “woe is me! someone please come rescue me! even though I know I won’t be rescued because your fragile egos and narcissism thrive off my deplored state.”
Chimamanda posted the stunning photo on her Instagram page, and dare I say it is a lesson to women of African descent everywhere. Do not shrink yourself. Do not be ashamed of vanity. Do not live to appease others. Embrace who you are as this is a crucial key to happiness. Society be damned.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this topic. As always, stay kind and curious. ❤
