Review: From Shock To Awe
What if you took two veterans, one barely holding on to life after service and the other struggling to find a life after serving and followed them through months of deep interpersonal healing?
The new documentary From Shock To Awe does just that. Now streaming on Amazon, iTunes, Google, Vimeo and available in the U.S. on DVD & Blu-ray, the “journey of hope and transformation” directed by Luc Côté shows Mike Cooley and Matt Kahl emerge from the psychological hell of trauma and into the love and light of a world their service nearly stole from them.
Starting with Cooley’s difficulty in driving to and from his college classes and paying attention in class and Kahl’s medicated near walking coma, the documentary follows the two through their first ayahuasca ceremony and then catches back up to them many months (and many ceremonies, as noted in the credits) later. The transformation is remarkable.
While amazing, none of this was particularly surprising to me. I’ve seen similar results from many ayahuasca attendees who were willing to put in the work integrating what they learned, but the fantastic part was seeing it happen within the 90-ish minute run time. As someone who’s personally been through my own transformation that took nearly two years, it’s sometimes tough to remember how bad things really were until you start to feel a lot better.
But, as PTSD sufferers understand, there’s far more to healing than just your own. Both Mike and Matt, though clearly not intentionally, had spouses and family members negatively affected by their worst moments. Not only did their spouses deal with PTSD episodes and daily fear emanated by the two, each of their spouses then had their own healing process to attend to.
“I’m having to actually take a knee now and help my wife out with her trauma…just from me being fucked up,” Matt said.
This is the line from the documentary that hit home the most. Much of my personal trauma has been played out toward and around those that I love, and understanding that I needed to give them time to heal — in their own way—was perhaps the greatest lesson I took from the documentary. The impact our suffering has on those who care about us the most is traumatizing itself, and seeing both men recognize that their spouses needed to find their personal path back to “normal” was the greatest lesson of all.
What ayahuasca, and most other plant medicines, have taught me is compassion, empathy, and the ability to hold space for others…especially those who were barely able to hold it together before and during my messy healing path. From Shock To Awe acknowledges this, and Matt admitted that he sometimes pressured his wife to “get better,” just like I did with my own.
For some, ayahuasca may not be the right path. MDMA, talk therapy, psilocybin, and/or cannabis (among others) may be what’s necessary. We all heal in our own time…and when allowed to do that, we shine.
Huge thanks to all the families involved in From Shock To Awe for sharing their pain, for sharing their healing, and for sharing their dreams with the world. Check out From Shock To Awe via Amazon, iTunes, Google, Vimeo and in the U.S. on DVD & Blu-ray.
