The Truth About White Worship — A response to WMAF
Recently, Natalie Tran released a video titled White Male Asian Female as a response to harassment directed at her in the form of online hate comments. Natalie sought to unpack these comments in the form of conversations with various Asian contributors, ending on a note of hopeful optimism that this would pave the way for future discussion.
In critique of the video, however, there is one troubling point that stands out — one which rests on the fundamental assumption that Asian men are upset because racism prevents us from “dating out.” This simply isn’t true, generally. And this statement will be the basis for the majority of this article. Let’s take a look at a few statistics…
Compare the rate of outmarriage to other races of partners. Black men: 24%, Hispanic men: 26%, Asian men: 21%. Take note that when Asian American men marry, they don’t marry out at a significantly lower rate compared to other men. But what’s key here is the percentage of Asian American men who actually get a chance to date, marry, etc (Source: Pew Research Center — Social and Demographic Trends).
It’s actually not too bad! Asian interracial marriage rates are very similar to the rates of other minority men. We outdate just fine (out of those of us who manage to marry). This shocked me. I hope this knowledge somewhat liberates more Asian men to not have to feel that they are inferior. Free yourselves from those mental chains.
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free” — Ralph Ellison
It is amazing, because we are very resilient in that regard. Emasculation hurts us most with regard to the dynamic between Asian men and Asian women. It certainly doesn’t help the dynamic with other groups of women, but surprisingly we keep up.
Now, take a look at the chart again. Though the outmarriage stat for Asian American women says 36%, an update has proven this metric to be outdated. The most recent Pew study showed that 54% of Asian women born in America marry out, the vast majority to white men only. This means that the outmarriage stat for Asian women is actually greater than the 36% (Source: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2017/05/18/1-trends-and-patterns-in-intermarriage/). 54% of American-born Asian women outmarry. 54%. A majority. Pretty mindblowing.
The point of this article isn’t to refute the idea that we Asian men have trouble dating. Many of us do. But the problem is not that we have a harder time dating other races relative to other groups of minority men. Our problem is that we have the hardest time dating within our own. Our own women contribute to the stereotypes!
UC Riverside’s Department of Sociology studied this phenomenon. From the Department of Sociology at UC Riverside:
In Natalie’s video, interviewee JT Tran said it straight up: that Asian guys are most likely to hear “no Asians” from Asian women. Many other prominent figures such as Jeremy Lin have spoken of their experiences. From my own personal experiences, by far the harshest rejections I have received in public spaces and nightclubs have been from Asian women who are outright vocal about the fact that they “don’t hang with Asian men.” An obvious pattern can be gathered from Twitter screenshots shared by Heather Johnson Yu:
(A key takeaway is that the vast majority of folks tweeting such statements are Asian American women)
What provokes such a response from such a large group of women? It’s because we all remind them of their “Asian-ness.” So is self-improvement alone adequate to attract these women? No. They hate you because you are a reminder that they themselves are “other” and will attempt to distance themselves from you however they can. The recent tone-deaf dumpster fire of a show Chinese Burn even invented a new word for this disdain: “DAGS: desperate Asian guys. Overly groomed Asian men who seem to follow us everywhere.”
Some of the grossest, most unbelievable, in-your-face racism we encounter has come from western Asian women. I hate to use the term “misandry” because it has been tainted by the manosphere misogynists, but it is what it is — a large group of women truly, definitively engaging in racist misandry to climb the social ladder.
This is not “theory” or “conjecture,” these are facts that countless outspoken Asian women continuously deny or ignore. JT Tran touches on this, both in Natalie’s video and his article, but he does so lightly. We need to be more direct: You’ve betrayed us for white acceptance. You lambast Asian male patriarchy and yet you jump towards white male patriarchy and use gendered racism against Asian men… under the guise of Asian female empowerment. This is the answer to Natalie’s million dollar question.
You have internalized racist stereotypes about us en masse (again, you don’t care about the individuals) and you refuse to acknowledge this fact.
Then women like Natalie Tran have the gall to ask the men “what can I do?” What the actual fuck? Why are you asking us Asian men what to do about your own fucked up behaviors and habits as Asian women? Should we tell you to “Chase white guys less?” That’s not our responsibility. Our only responsibility is to call you out. Anything more than that? That’s actually robbing you of agency. You decide, and your actions will speak for themselves, like they have been doing thus far. Don’t pretend to be egalitarian, because once we’ve brought it to your attention, you can no longer plead ignorance. Please, shut the fuck up about feminism if your feminism only consists of the right to social climb through whiteness and through shitting on Asian guys in the process.
And the one thing you’re not allowed to do? Make us men accept responsibility for your racism. No amount of blame shifting will make this acceptable. Not now, not ever.
Lets call it what it is: White supremacy and white supremacy being supported by Asian women. For too long we’ve been shut down by fake Asian feminists policing our tone, saying we express things too aggressively; this does not take away from the facts: that they themselves are a major contributor to that aggression. We are presenting facts, they are throwing allegations. That is the difference. That is why Asian men are utterly frustrated, and that is why we will no longer tolerate these lies and attempts at misdirection.
“Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.” — Byron
Most people don’t outmarry, period. It’s not that we Asian men outmarry less; Asian women just outmarry way too much to white guys. That is not feminism, that is just social climbing. It is not interracial diversity, it’s white supremacy. We don’t hear them bitching about not being able to date black men. They get way more social pressure not to date black, usually for racist reasons. But they don’t fight that. Hmm…
Look at the white men; they have the lowest interracial marriage rates of all men. That is the crazy thing. Asian feminists who present themselves as progressive and pro-POC while actually dating racist white guys, and who are very right-wing in their dating lives think this gives them a high ground and allies. It is time to take away that misconception.
Asian men are getting fucked over by these women who use every trick in the book to justify their white fetish, cognitive dissonance and all. One point frequently brought up by Asian women is that Asian men are liable to act on these same white-worshipping tendencies, that we just want white girls. Sorry, this has been disproven both by the aforementioned metrics and by numerous other forum posts prior.
Asian men need to realize that most “Asian feminists”, with very few exceptions, speak from a position of malice towards Asian men. They’ll take advantage of every opening to make us look bad. We shouldn’t expect fair play from them. They make it sound like we’re bitching because emasculation hurts us with respect to dating white girls. No. Actually, we’re doing quite alright in that respect. It hurts us the most with Asian women who are complicit (whether consciously or subconsciously) in perpetuating the racist depictions of Asian men. That is why we are angry.
This rant isn’t finished. It’s not enough that they have their White-male-Asian-female (WMAF) relationships. They are also actively complicit in using their various (racist) social strategies against us. They’re willing to smear all Asians as terrible people to get non-Asian women away from the very Asian men they won’t even date. That is just plain sociopathic. When have Asian men done the same to their own people? And why has Natalie avoided speaking with these very common types of Asian women when they’re so obviously at the root of the issue?
Because Asian women are still the ones most likely to date Asian men, if you fuck them up to see Asian men portrayed badly, then we end up with sausage fests and bachelor societies. Just like the good old days (Chinese exclusion Act)! The majority of women out there are just not open to interracial although we hold our own at current rates. This is just what racist, white-male-supremacist America wants, and your compliance furthers their agenda.
Now, since we have cleared that up… to reiterate, we necessarily have to do interracial because of the 54% outmarriage rate, otherwise Asian men are forced to participate in a cannibalized western Asian-male-Asian-female dating game.
Asian men have been so hesitant to remove the kiddie gloves in conversation with these false Asian feminists in public spaces- so much so that we’ve never explained this angle- that their use of feminism is an insult to feminism. It is a perversion and a way to justify their lust for white privilege, and access to white society through white men. Our friends have said it best in the article: “THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOUR FEMINISM IS RACIST.”
These women are, unwittingly or not, staunch supporters of white male patriarchy. When was the last time you heard an Asian woman rallying against white male patriarchy? Why does Natalie investigate Asian masculinity primarily as a victim? When you talk about Asian male patriarchy you should at least start with the elephant in the room. And yet the silence remains deafening.
Real black feminists need to know this. Real white feminists need to know this. Real Asian feminists need to know this. Real Latina feminists need to know this. We see some women out there vocally supporting us. The majority are black women, with a sprinkling of white, Asian and Latina. We must never forget who our friends are when we’re being kicked to the curb. I believe in mutually respectful relationships. We will have your back when shit goes down because you have ours.
We’re not focusing on the individual WMAF couple, or even the pairing itself despite the negative historical context of it. But the scale of it is what’s actually ridiculous. The fact that it ties so neatly into historical factors only goes to show Asian men are not an embittered monolith the way false Asian feminists would attempt to portray us as. At the end of the day, the sheer amount at which Asian women date out to white guys is an abnormal and unprecedented social trend that is a direct result of white supremacy.
Fuck your individual relationship, you’re killing us here on aggregate.