19 Year-Old Princeton Student: Being Black in the US is Like Suffocating
The death of George Floyd, a black man who died on Memorial Day after he was pinned down by a white police officer, has sparked protests across the United States and even abroad.
In France, the event has even revived anger over the death of Adama Traore a black Frenchman who died in police custody 4 years ago. Some 20,000 people demonstrated in Paris on Tuesday.
I met my guest at the Kneel for justice protest yesterday in Princeton.
She was one of the speakers.
She is a Prospective Molecular Biology Major at Princeton University. Welcome to Back in America Imani Mulrain
She recommends watching the following video
how to financially help BLM with NO MONEY/leaving your house (Invest in the future for FREE)
to help the Black Lives Matter movement
Transcript
19 Year-Old Princeton Student: Being Black in the US is Like Suffocating
Imani-Mulrain
[00:00:00] Imani: [00:00:00] I’m just on a group chat with other students of color on Princeton’s campus. And it’s just, we usually use this group to have to talk about like the like issues or just to like be friends and be silly. But last night there was just a lot of questions, a lot of distress. And I was just one of the people trying to help my friends out mentally.
[00:00:20] Cause it was a very distressing time. And I know for a lot of people of color, it can just feel like the whole weight of the situation is on your shoulders. You feel like. There’s no way out. It’s not going to change. A lot of my friends are just going through a lot right now.
[00:00:44] If you’re tired of arguing with strangers on the internet. Try talking with one of them in real life.
[00:01:04] [00:01:00] Welcome to Back in America, the podcast.
[00:01:15] Stan: [00:01:15] The death of George Floyd, a black man who died on Memorial day after he was pinned down by a white officer, has sparked protest across the United States and abroad.
[00:01:28] In France, the event has even revived anger over the death of Amanda Traore, a black Frenchman who died in police custody four years ago. Some 20,000 people demonstrated in Paris on Tuesday.
[00:01:44] I met my guest at the Kneel for Justice protest yesterday in Princeton. She was one of the speakers. She’s a prospective molecular biology major at Princeton University. Welcome to back in America.
[00:01:58] Imani: [00:01:58] So my name is [00:02:00] Imani Mulrain. That’s my full name. Um, I’m the first person in my family to be born in the United States.
[00:02:07] My family, um, immigrated here from Trinidad and Tobago. Which is the last Caribbean Island in the chain of Caribbean islands. Um, I’m originally from Boston and I’m a first-year at Princeton University.
[00:02:23] Stan: [00:02:23] How old are you?
[00:02:25] Imani: [00:02:25] I’m 19.
[00:02:26] Stan: [00:02:26] How did you get involved with the protest?
[00:02:29] Imani: [00:02:29] Um, so I moved to New Jersey, literally this Saturday and Valeria, who is, um, she’s a daughter of, one of the women who was in charge of setting up. The protests. She just asked me if I wanted to be a speaker. And I said, yes. So it really was, it was just really, it wasn’t that complicated. She just asked me and I said, I wanted to.
[00:02:51] Stan: [00:02:51] And why did you want to be a speaker?
[00:02:54] Imani: [00:02:54] Um, because I just feel like most of the time, like I watch a lot of YouTube videos about the protests [00:03:00] and stuff.
[00:03:00] I feel like the media is intentional about who they choose to speak on these issues. And oftentimes I feel like they choose people who are quote-unquote: ‘stereotypes’. So it’s easy for people who are against the protests to make fun of these people or whatever, or they don’t really listen to what the people have to say, but they look at what they’re wearing, what their vernaculars are.
[00:03:23] And they just really it’s like the media intentionally choose these people so that the opposite side has something to make fun of and poke fun at as a reason so that they don’t listen. And I know, I myself am privileged to go to an Ivy League school. So I feel like in that way, I don’t necessarily fit the stereotype of what a black person is in America.
[00:03:44] But I noticed a lot of other stereotypes that I, I fit like my hair is, um, I have locks, which is another stereotype. Mmm. But I just, I feel like out of, I can [00:04:00] like my voice, it can be helpful to put the, put, like move the protest forward and move the movement forward. Because I feel like, um, I don’t have a stereotypical vernacular.
[00:04:13] Um, I’ve been told by my black friends that I speak ‘white’ or whatever, or that I sound educated. Um, I don’t necessarily agree with that. I don’t think you can tell how someone, how educated somebody sounds by their vernacular or whatever accent that they have, but in cases like this, where you have. People against the movement, poking fun at people who have really important things to say, just because of their vernacular.
[00:04:37] I feel like the people who fit the criteria who speak normal, their voices can really have an impact in this.
[00:04:44] Stan: [00:04:44] You talk about Princeton. Um, tell me, how did you end up at Princeton?
[00:04:50] Imani: [00:04:50] Um, so in Boston, I went to Boston Latin high school, um, which is, um, very, it’s a very well known school. It was the first [00:05:00] school built in America.
[00:05:01] And it, um, it’s the reason why Harvard was built in the first place. So Boston Latin school, most of our students go to Harvard, but, um, a majority of our students go to Ivy League schools and really good schools. So of all the schools, I applied to Princeton was the second Ivy league. I also applied to Harvard, but I got waitlisted.
[00:05:24] And since Princeton was the only other Ivy league I applied to and I got in, I just came to Princeton.
Imani: my family gets financial aid and I really think it’s only because my mom is back in school.
[00:05:45] She’s a nurse, but, um, she came from Canada, um, Quebec. So she got her associate’s degree a very long time ago. She never got her bachelor’s degree and she works at the Brigham and women’s hospital. And so now she’s decided to get her [00:06:00] bachelor’s degree. So she’d go in to get her master’s. So I think it’s only because she’s in school again and because I have a little brother and they also have to pay for his private school, that the school is giving us financial aid.
[00:06:09] So my mom said that she’d be willing to pay 10,000 and the school’s making her pay 11,000. So it’s like within our, our range.
[00:06:16] Stan: [00:06:16] So you told us that your mom is a nurse. What is your dad doing?
[00:06:22] Imani: [00:06:22] My birth father and my mother are not together, but my birth father is a security guard and my stepfather is a custodian.
[00:06:32] Stan: [00:06:32] Yeah. What’s your experience being a black person in this country?
[00:06:38] Imani: [00:06:38] I feel like I have a very unique experience because it’s a big issue in the Caribbean community. The issue of colorism or an issue of accepting your American identity. Um, so like I said, since I’m the only person in my family born in the United States, I’ve always felt like I didn’t really fit with my family or fit with America because Trinidadians [00:07:00] have an accent and I did grow up with an accent, but whenever we’d go outside, like to McDonald’s, for example, the workers would always ask me to translate what my grandmother is saying.
[00:07:09] A Trinidadian accent sounds like an Indian accent. You’re speaking English. I’d always feel really embarrassed. So I taught myself to speak like an American.
[00:07:18] And my family would always make jokes that Trump is my president but not their president.
[00:07:39] I’ve had issues in my school in particular, which has been in the news and media for racial discrimination, where students have, um, told me that I need to stop pretending like I’m special or that I have a special culture. I’m black all I was going to be is black. And I felt like that really just, they really tried to strip me of my national [00:08:00] identity.
[00:08:00] Mmm. Because it’s like, when people come to this country, you don’t tell them to forget everything that they are, they don’t have to be American, like, so it’s just. Really hurtful in that way. Um, I’ve been followed in like corner stores and grocery stores. Um, people assuming that I stole something. Mmm. And I guess the biggest thing for me that was really hurtful Mmm.
[00:08:26] Were comments about my hair again, which is a big problem in the black community. People trying to, uh, control black women’s hair in particular and people would always tell me. Mmm. Like, Oh, is that a weave back when I used to wear my hair long and I used to like, press it out and iron it out. And it’s just, it’s really like self debilitating and it’s really hurtful.
[00:08:48] Cause it makes you feel like you’re not a person, it shifts your identity. It makes me feel like I’m not special.
[00:08:54] And I guess the only other comment that really bothered me was a boy, a white boy, my [00:09:00] class, a comment that my grandmother is a terrorist and she wants to blow up the United States because my family was originally Muslim.
[00:09:07] Mmm. And when they came to the United States, everybody converted to Christianity except for my grandmother. So she’s still a practicing Muslim. So that comment also is like, he claimed that he was joking, but it’s like, why would that even be funny? That’s not funny to me.
[00:09:23] Stan: [00:09:23] Can you recall a time when you were young, a time when you felt that you belong to this country?
[00:09:31] Like any other person belongs. A time before, you know, you felt looked at because you were black.
[00:09:43] Imani: [00:09:43] I’d have to say, like, it’s kind of hard to say that because even from a young age, you know, people treat you differently and you have to ask why and your parents tell you. So I think my first two experiences that was that I was around five. I remember, [00:10:00] um, going on the train with my family in New York.
[00:10:03] And these two Asian ladies are on the seat across from us, kept pointing at us and taking pictures and like whispering. And I was just confused. I asked my mom, what are they doing? She said, ‘just ignore them’.
[00:10:13] Um, so it was the first time I felt like, Hmm, maybe there’s something weird about me and I guess, Mmm.
[00:10:21] The second instance, I was about seven, my family and I went to Applebee’s in Boston. Mmm. And we were the only black people in the restaurant. They sat us down at the table and we sat there for an hour and no waiter ever came to us. Like we didn’t even get to put in like the initial order of like bread or like water.
[00:10:42] Like nobody came to us and we looked around, we saw the waiters were going to everybody else and we’ll be the only black family in the restaurant we just left. So of course, since then I’ve had many experiences with racial discrimination, but I’d say those are really my first experiences of just feeling like, okay, I guess I’m not an [00:11:00] American.
[00:11:01] I do like, and the reason why my family came in, in the first place, the opportunities being in America can offer you like educational wise, financial wise, housing wise. It’s kind of ironic that the one country that offers the most opportunity is also the one country that oppresses people the most.
[00:11:20] Stan: [00:11:20] How did you feel when you first saw the video of George Floyd being murdered?
[00:11:28] Imani: [00:11:28] This is going to sound kind of bad, but I honestly wasn’t surprised by it. And I just feel like it’s because I’ve been desensitized to things like this, I’ve already. Seen many videos before of police brutality. So I did watch the video the full way through I was sick and by it, that doesn’t change. But I guess the shock value wasn’t there anymore because I’ve already seen so many other videos of black men or black people in general be killed by the police.
[00:11:54] Like I remember the first video, I guess that really took my shock. I forget the man’s name, [00:12:00] but he was in a car. With his girlfriend at the time. And he was trying to get out his identification for the police and they just shot him right in the car. They shot him like a good amount of times and he died in the car.
[00:12:11] Um, and it all he was getting out was his like ID to show the police. And after that, I just feel like every video. So after that, just did it live up to that child value. So I get sickened by them all the time. They just don’t surprise me anymore.
[00:12:25] Stan: [00:12:25] What would it take to change this country?
[00:12:30] Imani: [00:12:30] Honestly, it’s going to take a lot of effort because I think, I don’t think, I know, that this country was built on slavery and a lot of our foundational systems are intentionally discriminating.
[00:12:42] Um, like one of the speakers said of the protest: is country. The society is a game and a again, you need winners and losers. And the way that our system is set up, the winners are the white majority and the losers are the minorities. So I honestly feel like the only way to fix the system is to completely create a new one.
[00:12:59] You [00:13:00] can’t just, it’s like you have like an old car. You can’t just keep fixing this and fixing that because eventually something is going to break. You just need to buy a new car after awhile. So I feel like that’s what we are. Like our system is racist. Our system is discriminatory and we need a new system, but that’s going to take a lot of effort.
[00:13:19] And I don’t know if America is ready for that, or at least our president.
[00:13:23] Stan: [00:13:23] Hmm, Yesterday, during the protest. You ask us to, um, stay silent for four minutes and reflect upon whether we would rather, uh, suffocate for four minutes or live the life of a black American.
[00:13:41] Imani: [00:13:41] Yeah.
[00:13:43] Stan: [00:13:43] What were you thinking about during those four minutes?
[00:13:47] Imani: [00:13:47] Honestly, that there’s no difference between the two. They’re really just the same thing. Because like what George Floyd went through, not being able to breathe. You’re suffocated. You don’t know what to [00:14:00] do. You just feel like you’re trapped. Like there’s no end to it. That’s what I feel like being a black person every single day.
[00:14:07] I wonder if I go into a store, like, I don’t know if people realize this, but a lot of black people, especially if you’re in an influential like neighborhood, you cannot just window shop. Because you’re scared that if you walk into a store and you just look around, you don’t buy anything. As soon as you walk out that door, that somebody is going to assume that you stole.
[00:14:23] I get that fear every single day, that if I just walk into a store and decide, I don’t want to buy something, I’m going to get the cops called on me. Cause somebody assumes that I stole every single time walking around Boston. If I noticed that I’m a white neighborhood, I’m so scared that somebody is going to see me and call the cops on me just because they think that I don’t belong there.
[00:14:40] Um, so I get actually really scared when I’m walking in a white neighborhood at night. Um, I have the urge in me to just run to the neighborhood, run down the block, and then I’m afraid that no matter what I do with where I walk or I run, they’re going to assume that I stole something. It’s like a daily fear, but one day somebody who’s going to take my life just because of the [00:15:00] color of my skin.
[00:15:00] And they assume that I’m a criminal.
[00:15:05] Stan: [00:15:05] How did you feel yesterday when you saw those white students, white people were there on the streets of Princeton?
[00:15:17] Imani: [00:15:17] Um, well, because I’m not originally from the Princeton area, um, I’m not really sure what the demographic or background makeup is of this neighborhood, but it was really, it was happy to see that people are coming out. Um, more than just black people, because if we want to change this nation, they can’t just be one race.
[00:15:37] It has to be everyone. So it’s really a good feeling inside of me to see the diversity in the crowd and see that there’s more than just one race, that a lot of people are starting to change your minds about how they feel about racial discrimination in America, and that they want to see change.
[00:15:51] Stan: [00:15:51] Is there anything else you want to add?
[00:15:54] Imani: [00:15:54] I just really want to reiterate Mmm. What one of the speakers said, [00:16:00] is that it doesn’t. Like even go like more and more black people are having to give their children to talk about how to deal with law enforcement. That it can’t just be a one-sided thing. Like everybody needs to give the children a talk to not be racist, especially white people.
[00:16:17] That if we’re just going to tell black people how to act around the cops, we also have to tell these people who are being cops going up to be cops to not be racist and to not discriminate based on racial bias. It’s like, it’s just another thing that we can, we can’t just depend on one group to this. It has to be a national effort if we want to see real change happen.
[00:16:36] Stan: [00:16:36] Okay. What are going to be the next steps for you in this fight for justice?
[00:16:44] Imani: [00:16:44] Um, currently some of the Princeton students who are still on campus, they want to organize another protest. So I’m trying to see if I can help out with that. Um, but me personally, I’m actually immunocompromised, um, I’m a type one diabetic, so it was actually really nerve [00:17:00] wracking going out to that protest.
[00:17:01] I’m not really sure if I want to do that again. Cause it was just really scary, but I’m personally, I’m trying to donate, um, money to different causes. And this is a video on YouTube that I’m streaming, um, that the ad revenues are going to support, um, different black lives matter movement. So I’m watching that.
[00:17:19] I’m streaming it in the background
[00:17:20] Stan: [00:17:20] And where should people go to find it?
[00:17:24] Imani: [00:17:24] So it’s called it’s by Zoe. Her name is Zoe Z O E Ameera A M I R A. And it’s called how to financially help B L M with no money / leaving your house. Um, so there’s a lot of videos like that. I don’t trust the other videos because then again, they’re not as well known.
[00:17:43] You don’t know if they’re just taking that ad revenue money for themselves. But this, I know that this video is actually helping. So you can, it has 5.7 million views. You just stream the video in the background. Don’t pause, don’t skip any of the ads. Um, and all the [00:18:00] ad revenues will go towards black lives matter movement.
[00:18:03] Stan: [00:18:03] What is America to you?
[00:18:06] Imani: [00:18:06] America? To me as a country with a lot of opportunities. Um, a lot of opportunities. A lot of places for people to be successful about the same time. It’s also a place we’ve. We have a lot where we have a lot of obstacles holding people back from reaching those opportunities and from being successful.
[00:18:28] So it’s a very ironic country, a very Hippocratic country that says that it’s the land of the free, but yet not everybody is free here.
[00:18:37] Stan: [00:18:37] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your time. And, uh, well, good luck for the rest of the protests.
[00:18:50] Thank you [00:19:00] have a good day.
