A Gay Man Responds to the Death of Charlie Kirk
On grief, dignity, and why I still believe in love
When I heard Charlie Kirk had been assassinated, I didn’t expect my first response as a gay man would be deep sorrow. But any loss of life grieves me.
I read an article that proclaimed that the Charlie Kirk assassination will forever be remembered in the lives of all Americans — permanently seared in our brains (much like the assassination of JFK and the 911 twin-towers attack).
If such is true, then what follows are my present beliefs at this highly charged, pivotal, scarring moment in American history.
A Hole is Created with Every Death
Charlie Kirk’s death will be mourned by many for a long time. His wife, only 31, now faces a life reshaped by absence — an absence that will echo in countless, intimate ways. Their two children, just ages three and one, are too young to understand what has been taken from them. Most people’s earliest memories begin around age three. Will Charlie’s daughter carry a first memory marked by tragedy? And his son — he will grow up with no memory at all of “dear old dad,” only stories and photographs.
And what of those who witnessed the violence firsthand? The students, staff, and bystanders who saw a life end in an instant — will they carry that image with them forever? Will Utah Valley University forevermore be remembered not for its learning, but as the place where Charlie Kirk was murdered?
Charlie’s death leaves a hole. Assassination carves a wound not only in families but in the national memory. It lingers.
Just three weeks ago, my own family gathered to remember my wife, who died of cancer in 2017. She was radiant — her kindness and strength touched nearly everyone she met. But her death still results in grieving in my family. My daughter has no mother to call when she is wrestling with questions only a mom can answer. Two of my eight grandchildren never met their “Nana.” Though I have since remarried, I still cry each year at her gravesite, and when I open our wedding scrapbook.
Her death left a hole. Cancer — and death of any kind — leaves behind a quiet ache that never fully disappears.
And what about the mother, the sisters, and the brothers of the Brown man who was surrounded by armed men — beaten, mocked, treated as bloodsport — until his life slipped away? What kind of hole did that leave in their hearts? You know, of course, that I’m speaking of Jesus.
And yet, I still believe in love.
Using People for Political Purposes is Cruel
I knew nothing about Charlie Kirk on the day he was assassinated. But since then, I’ve seen and read much through social media, news outlets, and public tributes. Mr. Kirk was a prominent figure in both Evangelical Christian circles and the Republican Party. His death is unspeakably tragic, especially for those two large communities. And yet, sorrow should not be confined to religious or political affiliation. His death is a loss to the human family.
My husband and I were shocked. Saddened. We prayed for Charlie’s family.
Other emotions surfaced too — anger, indignation, grief. Murders flash across the evening news with numbing regularity. It drains the soul.
This is not the America I have loved for 71 years, nor the one I defended for 32 years in the military. What has happened to us?
I believe our politics have grown especially ugly — at times, even cruel. People like Charlie Kirk are used as pawns in the pursuit of power. And let’s be honest: most individuals without a college degree or formal training don’t rise to national prominence by age 31. But Charlie did. His message struck a chord with one political party.
And yet, both parties seem willing to use anyone — any voice, any tragedy — for their own ends. That, to me, is heartbreaking.
Cruel? Yes.
But shocking? Sadly, no.
And yet, I still believe in love.
Everyone is Entitled to Dignity
Each and every human life is inherently endowed with dignity. Not because of their demographic, or tribe, or political party. Everyone.
Charlie Kirk was a White, straight, cisgender male, American, Evangelical, Republican, husband, father, and prolific speaker/debater. But he was more than any combination of identities.
He deserved dignity from the man who assassinated him.
In fact, Charlie deserved dignity from every human on planet Earth.
Certainly not because of his particular tribes. Nope. And not because of any of his many accomplishments.
Rather, I believe Charlie was owed such universal dignity because God bestows dignity upon every human life.
I believe God is love. Not only that, but I also believe God is the purest form of love. I believe God loves every human life the same — 100% acceptance, just as they are.
So, yes, Charlie Kirk deserves dignity from each of us. From the Democrats, as well as the Republicans. From the Exvangelicals, along with the Evangelicals.
Every human life should be treated with dignity. Everyone.
This applies to people who are from any of Charlie’s tribes, but also to those outside his tribes. Every LGBTQ person, every woman, every foreigner, every disabled, every homeless, every criminal, every Jew, every Palestinian, every Soviet Union leader, every American leader.
Jesus taught that whatever you do “to the least of these,” you do to him.
Certainly, the marginalized are the least of these.
Does the homeless gay male, rejected by his parents, deserve dignity if he continues to have anal sex with multiple partners? Does the Black person deserve dignity whenever s/he is stopped by a White policeperson? Does the Hamas young child whose home was just destroyed by bombs and who is now starving to death, who contributes absolutely no value to society, deserve dignity?
Did former President Biden deserve dignity? How about the current President Trump?
Yes.
In Jesus’s economy, the answer to every such question is always “yes.”
Jesus extended dignity to those who falsely accused him of crimes, tortured him, exposed him on a cross completely nude, and executed him in the most horrific form of brutality known at that time. And yet, Jesus commanded his followers to “love your enemies.”
Jesus’s “justice” for the love that he extended to all was to suffer until he suffocated to death, abandoned by almost all of his closest friends.
And yet, I still believe in love.
Everyone is Entitled to Their Own Beliefs
It is alleged that Charlie Kirk cited the Bible’s Leviticus 20:13 verse to support the belief that men should not engage in anal sex with men. He may have even referred to that verse as “God’s perfect law” (though I suspect he was referring to the entire Bible as the perfect law).
Charlie was certainly entitled to his own beliefs — and obligated to own his beliefs.
True, that, for every human who has ever existed or will exist.
Many Evangelicals revere their Bible and consider it to be God’s Word — an inspired, accurate communication of divine Truth: inerrant, trustworthy, and easily understandable. Well then, by that belief system, what does Leviticus 20:13 actually say?
“If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” (New International Version).
Seems pretty straightforward, doesn’t it? If you know that a man has had anal sex with another man, you must kill both of them.
I have had anal sex — and only with my legal husband. So, if Charlie were still alive, should he murder me and my husband? After all, “God said it; I believe it; that settles it.”
Obviously, I am not endorsing murder — and no one else should be endorsing it, either. So, here is my main point: I believe everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. And I am entitled to disagree because of my own beliefs.
For example, a person may sincerely believe he is a cauliflower. I may politely disagree.
Furthermore, if the Bible is truly God’s holy Word — perfect and applicable today — I might choose to live my life according to all of Leviticus, not just the verses I like. So, for the sake of discussion, let’s imagine I inform you that I believe I must follow all of God’s commands in the Bible. And then I announce that I will be obeying Leviticus 20:10 — a command merely three verses before the command that captivated Charlie Kirk’s attention:
“If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife — with the wife of a neighbor — both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.” (New International Version).
Well then, I would be obligated to murder every straight man and woman who have committed adultery.
Sorry to have to murder you, men and women. I am just following God’s perfect law.
Absurd.
But here is yet another Leviticus command that is not absurd — and actually is God’s perfect law:
“Love all others in the same way in which you want to be loved.” (Leviticus 19:18)
I never met Charlie Kirk. Never knew him. But I am now very aware of his tremendously large number of followers. So, to all who were Charlie’s devoted followers, I encourage you:
Please do not murder sexually active gay men.
And in return, I promise not to encourage my readers to murder known adulterous straight men and women.
And yet, I still believe in love.
Everything’s Gonna Be Alright
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the current turmoil in America — and for good reason.
In my view, today’s America should be far removed from the 1880s “Wild West.” People should not be shooting those they disagree with, seizing land and resources, amassing unchecked wealth, or treating non-White minorities and immigrants as inferiors.
It seems to me that many Americans today are not just edgy — they’re downright frightened and pissed-off.
To one and to all, I say: everything’s gonna be alright.
And how can I make such an audacious — perhaps even naïve — claim?
Because I still believe in love.
I will always respect your dignity and your beliefs. And I hope you will return the favor.
So here are my deepest convictions:
I believe God exists. I believe God is pure love. I believe God cannot not love all people. Love is the core — the most important, unshakable essence of God.
I believe God loves me. I believe God loves you. I believe God loves every single person — exactly as they are. And I believe God will never stop offering us this unconditional love, because God wants us to experience the joy and beauty of it.
I believe God gently nudges each person toward loving others. I believe God delights whenever I choose love. So each day, I look for ways to love those I encounter. It brings me joy.
For me, the perfect role model of love is Jesus. He was radically other-centered, full of compassion for the marginalized and the hurting. And he didn’t just feel compassion — he acted on it with mercy.
I want to love others the way Jesus did.
I also believe that every soul in the afterlife will eventually experience the fullness of God’s love. You don’t have to take my word for it — go read what America’s leading expert on the afterlife has discovered from the actual testimonies of people who have had Near Death Experiences.
In the end, everything’s gonna be alright.
Because love wins.
Dr. Mike Rosebush (Ph.D., Counseling Psychology; he, him, his;) is the author of “Gay Christians: Our Story.” A short synopsis of Dr. Rosebush’s life can be found at I Lived the Most Unusual Gay Christian Life Ever. He may be contacted at mikerosebush75@gmail.com.
