Unmasking the Truth Behind Church Membership
My eye-opening journey within the church
Even if you take the most cursory glance at the internet, you’ll come across numerous eye-opening statistics about church membership in the United States. Back in 1937, an impressive 70% of the population identified with a church, but today, that number has dwindled to around 47%.
I never thought I would be, but now, I’m a statistic as well.
But what brought me to become part of those statistics? Well, it all began when I started questioning what I saw and heard at church — the sermons, the small group fellowships, and everything in between. Curiosity compelled me to seek my own answers, and what I discovered was a realization I never expected. It became evident that being a church member was accompanied by a sense of lacking, something I had never anticipated. These unexpected revelations challenged my beliefs and opened up a whole new perspective on what it means to be part of a religious community.
As I began to pose questions to members of the pastoral staff and even seminary students, I had anticipated finding solid answers that would anchor me deeper in my faith. However, much to my surprise, these inquiries often sparked even more questions instead of providing the clarity and firm foundation I had hoped for. This unexpected outcome left me searching for a stronger footing from which I could confidently move forward in sharing the Gospel with others.
Often I was told, “Just start sharing the Gospel, have faith, and the Holy Spirit will guide you.” This answer, rather than providing clarity, left me with a sense of ambiguity that only deepened my confusion. And when you are confused, how does that help anyone feel the unity you should have as a member (of a church)?
For me, the more questions I had, the more dissatisfactory the answers became, and that just ended up being a maze with no exit!
To me, being a member, whether in a church or any other group, can be likened to being part of a team. Thinking about “membership” in this context can provide greater understanding. In a team, there is typically room for input, where you can voice your opinions and contribute to decisions, like discussing the next play the coach should call. During practice sessions (such as worship time and small group sessions), most issues are ironed out so that when it’s game time, you already know what to expect and understand the plan to win.
Now, imagine being a church member without any input but with the stated responsibility of tithing and giving generously (a message conveyed to almost everyone). Consider observing expenditures and operational practices that would never be acceptable in any reputable business environment. A church should operate with the same integrity and responsibility as the most reputable businesses. It becomes disheartening when pastors own one or multiple homes paid for by the church, or when church leaders and their family members receive major business contracts or job positions based on personal connections rather than a competitive process.
As all these issues surface, it begins to feel inherently wrong — both in appearance and substance. And throughout this, please remember that as a member, you have no input or vote. Even if you voice concerns, there is a risk of being ignored or labeled as disruptive.
If I had been aware of all this at the last church I attended, I would have never invested my time in becoming a member. Discovering these issues, alongside others, left my family and me feeling exploited and branded as members of that particular power-driven church. We were left wondering, “Why do they allow such things to happen?” As members, we were devoid of answers, stuck with a bewildered “Deer In The Headlights” expression. True fellowship eluded us, and in some cases, there were attempts to manipulate us or divert attention from important matters, solely focusing on what the senior pastor deemed important.
I wish I could say these experiences were limited to just one church. But no! They unfolded across various churches I attended, spanning different denominations such as Charismatic, Name-it-and-Claim-It, Baptist, and Calvinistic. It becomes disheartening to realize that these issues transcend specific church labels, indicating a broader problem within the system itself.
I’m pleased to say that my life has taken a turn for the better since I walked away from the church and began down a path of deconstruction — becoming an independent follower of Christ. Liberated from rigid rules, perplexing situations, and moments of embarrassment, I now navigate a more personal journey. Similar to the Prodigal Son, I recognize that I have a long way to go in my spiritual growth. It’s astonishing to reflect on how being a “church member” exposed me to many things that go against the very principles Christ’s followers aim to avoid.
If I were to offer advice on church membership, it would be this: take your time — ample time. Explore every nook and cranny, uncover hidden truths, and be attentive to warning signs. Conduct thorough research by Googling the church’s name alongside keywords like “problems” to gain insight into its background. It’s crucial to have a clear understanding of what you’re stepping into before committing to membership.
The Backyard Church is not just a blog. It’s a real online community for people who have faith but can’t, don’t, or won’t go to church. Join today.
