Finding Healing at a Gay Pride Parade
At long last, affirmation for being yourself
If you have been closeted, there is true healing in marching out front at a Gay Pride parade.
My Background
I was a closeted gay man for the first 64 years of my life.
Secrecy. Shame. Unfulfillment.
I was closeted for 18 years, growing up in my family of origin with a John Wayne-type dad who I greatly respected and never wanted to disappoint.
I was closeted for my four-year college experience at the United States Air Force Academy. This school was an all-male academy. Anyone who even resembled being gay was immediately expelled [this was in the “dark ages” before “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”].
I was closeted for 20 years in the Air Force, where I faced the daily threat of expulsion even though I was a Top Gun fighter pilot and a military commander.
I was closeted for eight years as the Vice President of “Focus on the Family.” Once I did come out, I amicably resigned.
I was closeted for 41 years of my marriage at my wife’s demand.
And when my beloved wife died in 2017, I finally came “out” to anyone who knows me.
My Affirming Church
I was a Catholic for 24 years and then an Evangelical Protestant for the next 40 years. Today I am an “exvangelical.”
As an exvangelical, I began searching for a local church that would affirm me now that I am married to a gay man. I did a “Google search” for “affirming churches near me.” I then intrepidly began visiting those few churches.
A “church shopping” person may have a few non-negotiable variables. However, often you “know it when you see it.” Like trying on a new shirt, the fit becomes obvious.
I, therefore, have fallen in love with the “First United Methodist Church: Prairie Campus.” It was obvious from their spoken words and loving actions that this church treats every LGBTQ person as an equal — filled with dignity and honor.
My new church had a Pride Booth that informed onlookers that it was truly an affirming church. So many churches say that “LGBTQ are welcomed.” Still, it is sadly apparent that there is a “glass ceiling” of which gay people cannot rise above. In Evangelical churches, the ceiling is typical that gay weddings will not be conducted. In all-too-many Evangelical churches, they would never march in a Gay Pride parade as a show of support.
So, when I learned that my new church was authentically affirming, I jumped at the chance to march with their contingent in the Colorado Springs Gay Pride parade.
Colorado Springs
Colorado Springs, for decades, had a well-earned reputation as “the Evangelical capital of America.” Not only was the city the site for the conservative “Focus on the Family,” but it was also the home for many other Evangelical ministries. It was also the site of the founding of “Amendment 2,” which prevented municipalities from enacting anti-discrimination laws protecting gay, lesbian, or bisexual people.
And it was the site of a recent killing spree in one of the town’s most prominent gay clubs (i.e., “Club Q”).
And Colorado Springs was and is my hometown.
The Parade
Since this was my first-ever Gay Pride parade in which to march, I wanted to stand out unmistakably in the front — especially in my own hometown. In the above picture, I am the smiling guy wearing a “Proud” hat.
We initially cloistered together as one group, positioned near the back of the parade. There were approximately 40 marchers in our church’s group. A strong minority of the group was actually LGBTQ themselves. Others were brave allies — ages ranging from older adults to young children. I was so proud of my church’s show of support!
For a reasonably long time, we waited for our turn to begin walking down the street in the parade. We shuffled forward as a group.
Suddenly, we became engulfed in a sea of supporters.
Thousands upon thousands of onlookers began cheering for our group!
I began waving back to them.
And as I waved back at the thousands of smiles, cheers, flag wavers of all ages and races, something began happening in me.
Pride.
I realized I was finally accepted as a gay man.
And I was accepted in my hometown — the epicenter of Evangelicalism.
And I nearly wept.
Just Do It
If you are an LGBTQ person who has never marched in a Pride parade, I hope my little story motivates you to receive your just due: dignity.
Don’t talk yourself out of going and participating. Instead, jump right in!
And to all of you who are allies, I can never fully express my gratitude. You rock!
Closing
It took me 69 years to be honored as a gay man — decades of secrecy and shame.
Thank You, God, that America stands on the precipice of finally forging full equality for LGBTQ citizens. We still have a ways to go.
But for me, it has been worth the wait.
Dr. Mike Rosebush (Ph.D., Counseling Psychology; he, him, his;) is the creator and editor of GAYoda, plus a writer for Backyard Church. A short synopsis of Dr. Rosebush’s life can be found at I Lived the Most Unusual Gay Christian Life Ever. He may be contacted at mikerosebush75@gmail.com.
