How the Pandemic Helped Me Embrace My Queer Identity
A Personal Journey of Self-Discovery and Acceptance During COVID-19
I never thought I would get to write this article. The good thing with the internet now is that anyone can be a writer. After three decades, I finally have the courage and the voice to talk about this. If this article resonates with you, whether we know each other or not, message me, and let’s talk about it. Here we go!
The Struggle of Being Closeted
Growing up in a Catholic household, I was taught to follow certain values and beliefs that the religion espoused. While I agree with the concept of morality that Catholicism preaches, there were certain aspects of the religion that I did not agree with, especially how it views homosexuality.
As a closeted lesbian for most of my growing years and even in adulthood, I felt like I had to hide my true self to fit in and avoid being ostracized. The fear of being rejected by my family and friends kept me in the closet for a long time. It was a lonely and isolating experience that felt like a burden I had to bear alone.
An Isolating Experience: The Emotional Toll of Growing Up LGBT in a Catholic Household
The Catholic Church teaches that homosexual acts are “intrinsically disordered,” which can make it difficult for LGBT individuals to find acceptance within their religious communities. Growing up in a Catholic household, I felt conflicted between my desire to be true to myself and my desire to maintain a relationship with my family for almost 30 years.
The experience of being LGBT and growing up in a Catholic household can be isolating and challenging. Many LGBT individuals face the fear of rejection and judgment from their families and faith communities. They may feel like they have to hide their true selves to fit in and avoid being ostracized.
The Pandemic as a Turning Point
However, things took a turn when the pandemic hit. Like many others, I found myself grappling with the uncertainty and anxiety that came with the global health crisis.
But in the midst of all that darkness, I found a glimmer of light.
The forced confinement, being stuck at home, and having little to no social interaction gave me the space and time to reflect on my life and my identity.
It was during this time that I took the first step towards coming out. I confided in my closest friends and was surprised to find that they were supportive and accepting of me. Encouraged by their response, I decided to tell my family members. While most of them were accepting, there was one who struggled to come to terms with my sexuality. But I knew that I had to be true to myself, so I decided to move away and start a new life in another country.
The Freedom of Living Authentically
Living in a new place has been liberating. I no longer feel like I have to hide my true self or pretend to be someone I’m not. I am free to be myself, and that has been the most freeing and liberating last 24 months of my life.
The pandemic has been a difficult time for all of us, but for me, it has also been a time of growth and self-discovery. It has taught me that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope and that sometimes, it takes a crisis to help us see what’s truly important in life.
The Blessing of Self-Discovery
In retrospect, I realized that the pandemic was a blessing in disguise. It helped me break free from the chains of fear and the need for validation from others. It gave me a chance to explore my true self and be proud of who I am, even if it meant choosing myself over my religion.
For many LGBT individuals who grow up in religious households, there can be a sense of conflict between their faith and their identity. My experience highlights the importance of choosing oneself and living authentically, even if it means going against religious teachings.
Through the process of self-discovery, I was able to find acceptance and love from those who matter most in my life. I was able to break free from the isolation and fear that had kept her in the closet for so long. Overall, the pandemic provided me with the space and time to embrace my true self and live authentically.
Be Proud: Come Out and Embrace Your Identity
For those who are still struggling to come out, I urge you to take courage and trust yourself.
It’s never too late to start living life on one’s own terms, and while religious teachings can be an important part of one’s upbringing, it’s not all about adhering to them.
The pandemic may have disrupted our lives, but it has also given us the opportunity to discover ourselves and find our true purpose. Let us embrace this opportunity and come out of the closet, not just as members of the LGBTQ+ community but as proud and authentic human beings.
It’s time to break free from the fear of judgment and rejection and embrace our true selves. Together, we can create a world where everyone is accepted and loved for who they are, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
