Rediscovering the Purpose of Prayer in Seasons of Pain and Uncertainty

When Praying Harder Isn’t the Answer

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Conversations about my wife’s cancer are never simple, but this one left me wrestling with more than just her diagnosis.

Recently, I shared with someone how, after months of treatments, surgeries, and ups and downs, we’ve come to a difficult place where we no longer expect healing from God in the way we once did. This doesn’t mean we’ve lost faith. It’s just the reality we’ve had to face: sometimes prayer doesn’t bring the results we want, no matter how much we ask. We’ve learned to hold onto hope, but also to make peace with the fact that the answer might not come in the way we had imagined.

After I shared this, the person I was speaking with mentioned the Jesus’s parable of the persistent widow. In this story, a widow continually approaches an unjust judge, asking for justice. Eventually, the judge gives in simply to stop her from bothering him. The idea was that we should persist in prayer like the widow. Don’t stop asking until God answers.

At first, I understood the intention behind their words: keep praying, keep asking, keep believing. But as they spoke, I couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable. It felt almost like a subtle rebuke, as if the message was that we weren’t trying…