3 packs a day with 3 weeks to live

My name is Marlene Tabernack and I’ve been smokin’ a pack a day since 1955. A month ago I was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and given 3 weeks to live. What have I been doin’ since then? Smokin’ 3 packs a day.

No one and nothin’ is gonna make me give up my sweet sweet ciggies. Now you may say I’m foolish and you may say that I ain’t fightin for my life but I beg to differ. Nothin’ makes me feel better than that first draw of a fresh cig and nothin makes me happier than cracking open a new pack of camels at the crack of dawn. If I only got a few weeks to live I’m gonna live them right with a cigarette hangin from my lips.

Of course I’ve tried to quit. I tried to quit when I was pregnant with Jolene my first born, that didn’t quite work out. I did quit for 6 months when I was carrying Tobias but as soon as he was born I ran out to get a fresh coffee and smoke a cig down to its butt. Theres really nothing as trying as the want for cigarettes when you’re trying to kick the habit and thats the worst part. As soon as you try to quit the desire just grows exponentially. When I go a day with out smoking I get shake like a leaf and pardon my language but with out my morning cig I’m a real b****.

I’ve been slowly killing myself with every draw and I knew it with every draw but there was just no way I could quit. I thank the gods every day that I never tried harder drugs because I heard that those are even more blissfully awful. I know its a shame that I’m dying of a disease I gave myself but I don’t blame myself, I blame develishly handsome 16 year old that gave my darn 13 year old self that first cig. Nothing could touch me as I was riding through town with him on my arm and a cig between my fingers. How was I supposed to know that they would be the death of me?

Well, never mind that, I need a cigarette.