- 20 is Cold as Balls!
Or is it?
Full disclosure: I am not an owner of a pair of testicles, and I have never needed to wear mittens for those that I have met.
In winter my children cry, “It’s cold as balls!” when I ask them to put out the trash. This morning, I found myself uttering the same when I heard the forecast while snuggling in my toasty bed.
Someone, PLEASE tell me where that freak’n expression came from! A movie? A book? A boy who peed too close to a metal pole?
Presently our American friends are gearing up for a Storm Blast. Yes, every single American. That’s what the newscaster said, “Americans”. A Storm Blast? Does that mean a sudden storm? Does it mean a bunch of snow falling all at once?
Did the newscaster forget how vast the United States is? Will Hawaii endure the Storm Blast?
I yelled from my bed, “Alexa, what is minus 20 Fahrenheit converted to Celsius?”
It is -28 Celsius.
Cold, yes but cold as balls? Not in Canada.
True, at -28 Celsius:
- most schools will hold in-door recess rather than sending the wee ones out;
- School buses may or may not be cancelled;
- Folks will be encouraged to layer up and senior citizens to stay home;
- Drivers may plug their older cars in overnight; and
- Dogs will hustle out for a flying whizz, dashing back in before their paws hit the ground.
Minus 20 °F (-28 °C ) is cold but not cold as balls. Am I right North Dakota?
Consider that the coldest temperature clocked in North America was in the Yukon at -81.4°F (-63°C) in 1947. This was years before Canada Goose designed an overpriced parka for urbanites to sport.
In the early 2000s, I spent a good chunk of one December in the Yukon where at -50 it hurt to breathe when I walked outside. My nostrils closed, icy slush formed on my eyelashes, and all the buildings around me popped as nails expand. That was freak’n cold.
One may even say cold as balls.
Read about Canada’s coldest day here. If you dare!
