How to Survive a Day Without Coffee: A Guide for the Desperate
A subtle how-to on overcoming the unbearable reality of a caffeine-free existence
Now, before you start throwing your arms in the air screaming, “Oh heavens, no coffee? You must be kidding me!”, just bear with me, okay? I promise, we’re not entering an apocalypse, although it might seem like it at first.
The Inevitable Waking Hour
7:30 AM. The alarm goes off. The nightmare has begun.
You blearily blink at the world, expecting your morning cup of joe to be by your side. You stretch your arm, your fingers ready to curl around that familiar warm mug, but instead, they meet with thin air. Oh, the tragedy!
Now, normally, your first instinct might be to freak out, throw the alarm clock against the wall, or try and hibernate until the world ends. But you, my friend, are going to be different. You’re going to seize the day, right after you hit snooze for a quick ‘5-minute’ lie-in (that’s not going to last an hour, is it?).
Breakfast Blues
Rolling out of bed at a leisurely 8:45 AM, you find your way to the kitchen. Your gaze naturally veers toward the coffee maker, that glistening beacon of hope. It’s okay, let it…
