Go Proverbs: 5 things we can learn about mental health from them
For some time now, Badico’s social media has shared some Go proverbs, which translate good practices and tips for a better language performance. Recently, some of these sayings caught my attention, and I’ll tell you why.
As a psychologist, I always try to understand the reality of the people I help according to their experience, way of thinking, and acting. This posture leads me to abandon the denotative, the socially constructed meaning of something, and embrace the connotative. That is, to understand what the person presents to me through the meanings that he or she believes and attributes. For this to occur, I dive into the local knowledge, into what the person brings me. Making a parallel with programming, it is as if I were learning a new programming language and started to see the reality presented to me (a website, an app, and others) through it because it is this language that SIGNIFIES that reality. Just as I seek to expand — together — the possible solutions to the problems presented in that language that make SENTENCE to it.
In a routine attending different technology professionals, I could get to know a little more about the language of each one of them, their stories, experiences, and hobbies. And I could realize how much we can learn about mental health, for example, from good practices in code. It is worth pointing out here that although there is a context for the following sentences, I took them as a layperson in programming and the intention is not to teach you about Go, but to make you think about how many things in your daily life can contribute to your mental health, with the simple gesture of moving this learning from the technical to the emotional field, for example.
1. Mistakes are values
At least two things can be said with this sentence: that mistakes are, literally, values, and that mistakes have values. Mistakes are values in the sense that they have an importance in one’s learning journey: they can be added, divided, and multiplied. In other words, they are part of the mathematical formula of learning, whether cognitive, educational, or emotional. How often do we count each other’s mistakes to decide, for example, whether to give the person another chance?
Now, that mistakes have values, this few of us admit. And when we do, it is usually not at the moment that we are making a mistake. Mainly, because to say that mistakes have values is the same as saying “it’s good to make mistakes,” and let’s face it, who likes to make mistakes? But when we open ourselves to better understand this statement, we provide ourselves with something much more valuable: the reduction of the fear of making mistakes and the acceptance of mistakes.
We all make mistakes one day, and we will make more mistakes in the future. And frankly, we would be highly selfish and dare I say even partially mediocre if the error didn’t confront us to learn more.
2. Don’t just check mistakes, treat them with elegance.
Okay, maybe you have already understood that it is important to accept your mistakes and work on the fear of making mistakes, but something that is rarely addressed in therapy — and that I think is highly important — is the way afterward: and after making mistakes, what have we done with our mistakes? Have we handled them gracefully or have we chosen to get rid of them quickly?
This topic is an invitation to you not to dismiss your mistakes or treat them as shameful, regardless of the area they involve. Yes, there will be mistakes that we will consider more shameful than others, perhaps a mistake in the family environment will carry more weight for you than in the professional field. However, if the importance you give to the mistake is proportional to the area where it happens, the importance you will give to the way you treat it should also be proportional.
In my experience serving mainly technology professionals, I have seen how some people treat other people’s mistakes with a lot of acceptance and respect but treat their own mistakes with a lot of criticism. This is a topic that brings many people to psychotherapy, however, for the wrong reason: wanting to know how to deal with mistakes in order to avoid them. In the process of psychotherapy, I have accompanied and I accompany different professionals in their journeys in the dialogue with the error, what about you? Have you started the dialogue with your mistakes?
3. Reflection is never clear.
If even human reflection is not clear, imagine the created one. But this is not the point. In programming, reflection is, according to Google, an action that allows an object to obtain information about its structure and the reasons for its computation. We could say that it is very close to the concept of human reflection, the ability to reflect/understand/inquire about your actions in the world, with the bonus of being able to create new reflections about your reflections. One more complexity.
Nevertheless, it seems to be a human desire to understand all the nuances of its being: where did it come from? Where is it going? And I think it is very important that we can dialogue about the reactions of what affects us, but the caution here is with reductionism. Many theories arise in the world today in order to try to simplify such complex issues as feelings and even try to frame them in diagnoses. We need to be careful with these reductionisms so that we don’t lose the human essence, which is complexity.
Different situations can contribute to a feeling. Different variables can lead us to suffer, and reducing this to a specific moment or a specific action can contribute to pointing blame and limiting self-knowledge. Don’t reduce your feelings.
4. Clear is better than smart.
Maybe you don’t know, but I have a programmer at home, my husband. And in our conversations, I realize how much we both experience different perspectives, but that we talk to each other at some points. The thing is, it is not always easy for me to understand his frustrations around a problem he is trying to solve in code, just as it is not always easy for him to understand my abstractions about emotions and the like.
But something we both strive for is to communicate to each other clearly what we are proposing to talk about and the funniest thing — at least for me — is that this happens, most of the time, with simple examples from our routine. Of course, but it is nothing very intellectual or intelligent in the sense of bringing up wonderful constructions and metaphors or using super cool terms.
This topic: clear is better than smart, makes me think in terms of communication. Why do we often prefer to appear intelligent instead of making ourselves understood? In our personal lives, several behaviors translate into a desire to seem like something. And this dialog is about feelings: pride and control can drive us to want to appear mature and superior by not being “out there”. Communicating our emotions clearly: “I expect this from you”, “I feel this way when you do this”, “I wish that…”, is the most sincere way to know ourselves better and to improve our relationships.
5. Design the architecture, name the components, document the details.
It is worth pointing out again my total ignorance — the little knowledge — in programming and the goal of this article is to make you look at Go proverbs from another perspective.
I start from the understanding that architecture refers to a structure by which one understands the components of a system and the relationships. And so this topic makes me think about the importance of the care we should take with what we allow and choose to be part of our emotional structure: which components we want to be more evident. Which aspects we would like to emphasize and which need to be corrected.
Another point of emphasis is about naming. When we name things, we are facilitating the process of knowing and developing that. And this also happens with feelings, emotions, and situations: when we mean what is happening, we can develop it better.
But beyond naming there is also evaluation. Many people carry CRYSTALLIZED meanings of life. That is, they carry ideas about themselves that need to be reviewed, re-evaluated, and accepted. Ideas that generate devaluation, excessive self-blame, and anxiety.
How have you named and meant what happens to you?
Do the meanings and names given in the past still make sense?
What are the stories that support these meanings?
These questions help you with the third aspect, which is documentation. When you go to a doctor, chances are that the doctor will ask you:
A) About what you are feeling in detail: how do you feel? How intense is it? At what times does it increase? What color is it?
B) About the time: how long have you had it? When did the first symptoms begin? Since when have you been feeling this?
C) About the people involved (depending on the case): who did you have contact with? Does the person know? Do you have a family history?
And I don’t know if you know, but the accuracy of your answer will directly influence the accuracy of the doctor’s answer. For example, from 1 week to 2 weeks is already influential enough for the diagnosis to change completely.
Although I shy away professionally from diagnostic aspects, in mental health, documentation is also important: what is the context? How does it touch you? How long has it been going on? Who is involved?
I hope this article has contributed further thoughts and helps you develop your self-knowledge. Oh, and if something caught your attention, don’t forget to comment, share, and maybe call me for a dialogue.
Vanessa Mattos
Psychologist CRP 12/19336
