Episodes 2 and 3: Return of the Stan
Real talk: I was going to give up writing this blog after I saw the second Drag Race UK episode. Gothy Kendoll and Scaredy Kat, the two queens I was rooting for since they were announced, were the first to go and I was mad. I opened a new draft and wrote: “It’s official. Both of my favourites are now gone and I have no one to root for” (peak dramatic, I know). Then I closed the draft and refused to acknowledge Drag Race UK for nearly three weeks. I was busy with other features and also went to Poland for 10 days, where (homophobically) BBC iPlayer is unfortunately unavailable.
What finally changed my mindset was watching the third episode. I saw it last night and, as Alyssa Edwards famously said:
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When it comes to the Episode 2 — I will be blunt. I liked Team Scaredy Kat’s performance better than the winning team’s and I am ready to die on this hill. Scaredy was not even as annoying as the editing was trying to make her to be. Crystal was breathtakingly beautiful while Divina served up amazing acting skills. I love Divina. One of the things that finally converted me back into watching Drag Race UK was seeing her jump into a split in the third episode’s mini-challenge. But back to that Downtown Draggy mess.
Baga Chipz’ “Much Betta” annoyed me from the start and I cringe every time I have to hear it (and trust me, I hear it A LOT). It seems like it was manufactured specifically for the American audience. I can almost picture the producers diligently scribbling away on how to create the next hot “Miss Vanjie… Miss Vanjie….”. At least Vanessa Vanjie Mateo’s iconic line comes off as genuinely spontaneous. The best Drag Race quotes are created in the moment, so please let’s not ruin that appeal. Nevertheless, everyone loves “Much Betta!” and I am left sulking in the corner bah humbugging like BenDeLaCreme’s Maggie Smith.
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The Bond Girl runway looks were stunning — my favourite one was Crystal’s BDSM fantasy which scared the life out of Maisie Williams.
Contrary to popular opinion, I think Scaredy Kat’s outfit was very Bond Girl-esque. I clearly saw the On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) references. It was pure 70s ski chic and I was there for it. It was hard seeing my fellow Wiltshire gal eliminated, but at least it gave us the scene which sparked a million memes:
The third episode cured my depression with that maypole dancing scene. Oh no, wait — it was actually the moment makeup guru and Season 2 winner (almost) Raven was driven into the Werk Room on a pink car (with Michelle Visage in the boot, supposedly — get it? Car boot but also “Boot!” from Fashion Photo Ruview? Anyone? No?).
The Posh on a Penny challenge was the ideal way to test the queens’ sewing abilities (or lack thereof), separating the real deals from the ones who only order their outfits to be ready-made. Michelle is right — with all these seasons of Drag Race and All Stars, how can one come into the competition not knowing how to sew? The challenge is as likely to come up as the Snatch Game. Look at Shangela — even she went to sewing classes, because she knows damn well that her loveable persona, mad dancing skills, and camera-readiness are just not enough to go far in the competition.
A final thought for these two episodes: I wish Drag Race UK would keep the element of suspense and surprise that the original US version has. Judging by the bonding moment between Vinegar Strokes and Sum Ting Wong earlier in the episode, it was easy to deduct that they would be lipsyncing against each other, like a platonic version of the Brooke Lynn v Vanjie showdown.
Apart from that, the lip sync battle was finally worthy of the Drag Race franchise. It was sad to see Vinegar go home, but it was her second time in the bottom and, judging by the quality of her looks, you could see the impending doom of sashaying away. However, the elimination of an otherwise rather strong competitor shows that the Drag Race UK is no longer for the faint of heart (or those under 23 years of age). I am off to catch up on the next few episodes and I should give another opinionated review tomorrow.
