Stupid Apps by Smart People

We assigned an entire day to making stupid shit no one would ever want or need. Why? To find out if stupid really is as stupid does.

Bakken & Bæck
Apr 3, 2018 · 4 min read

Last spring we jumped on the Stupid Hackathon bandwagon and invited a bunch of people to join us in exploring the limits of impracticality. How low could we in fact go? We left our smartypants at home and put on our non-thinking caps to find out.

Here are some of the best worst iOS apps that came out of last year’s event.

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Tic Talk
Quick Clock is an automatic response app that tells you what time it is. When you ask it for the time, it demands some of yours in return. The app is a high concept time thief that leaves you questioning the concept of time for the longest time. But not really, though. Quick Clock is basically the embodiment of an asshole that only gives you the time of day in its own time, after leaving you hanging for what seems like an eternity.

Disclaimer: May trigger memories of indecisive lovers.

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Sexy Sound Machine

Need an amplifier for your echo chamber? This Sexy Sound Machine app is nothing if not the ultimate soundtrack to your life, whether it’s a party or a party of one. Fire off a female voice to make your roommate think you have company over, or have a punchline rimshot on hand for those awkward jokes. Or simply fill your quiet space of existence with sounds that sound nothing like loneliness.

Disclaimer: Will probably drive people further away from you.

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Tinder for Socks

Looks are temporary, socks are forever. Especially the single ones that end up chucked away in a drawer, never to be worn again. Introducing the Sock Matcher, an app that finally allows you to find a match for all the single socks in your drawer. Forget Tinder and Happn, and sock it to the people instead.

Disclaimer: Wash with similar apps.

The AR You Kidding Me With These Pizza Slices Slicer

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It’s simple, really. You wanna have your pizza sliced into equal pieces and eat it too. Dumb down your smartphone with the AR Pizza slicer app, which allows you to cut your pizza into equally large (or ridiculously small) pieces, right down to the millimeter. Simply place any of the 3D geometrical shapes over your pizza, grab a knife and start dicing. Finally, no more bickering over who gets the last piece. No, wait. What is the point of this?

Disclaimer: There will be blood. And also, your pizza will get cold by the time you finish slicing.

So iOS stupid as stupid does?

Who knows, but we’re dumbing it down again on May 26th. Check out our Stupid Hackathon website and sign up!

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Want to join our team?

Read our company handbook and apply.

Bakken & Bæck

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