Debunking a Myth: The Truth About Easy-Going Friends
Everyone has easygoing friends in their lives, but as I’ve gotten older, I realized I don’t want that, and I don’t want to be that for anyone anymore, either.
My friend group is getting smaller, and I’m okay with that. Being easygoing or having an easygoing friend is not worthy of a reward.
I should give you my definition of an easy-going friend first. This is someone who goes along with everything; you can’t ruffle their feathers, they don’t have an opinion, and you don’t talk to them about the hard stuff. You probably can go on vacation with this friend, and you probably think that they would be a perfect godparent, but would they? You probably do a lot with them, but when the hard stuff is happening, they probably aren’t around. They seem flexible and open-minded, and you can hang with them in almost every situation.
So what’s the problem?
The problem is that they may not be your friend. I’m not saying that the person has to be hard to deal with or please, but there are essential characteristics of a friend that I like to consider before calling someone my friend.
They have to be available when I am at my lowest. Think of the most challenging time in your entire life. Your friends dropped what they were doing to call, facetime, be by your side, and ask what you needed. The easygoing friends never showed up.
They have to offer honest advice even when it is tough to hear. Think of a time you dated someone who was not a good fit. Your friends gave you a heart-to-heart and taught you about worth. The easygoing friends just let it happen.
They have an opinion. You ask them for feedback about something. Your friends give nonjudgmental input, and you are willing to listen to them. The easygoing friends either have no opinion, they go along with whatever you say to keep the peace, or they ghost you.
A true friend:
Listens without judgment.
Supports you during both good and challenging times.
Respects your boundaries and values.
Celebrates your successes sincerely.
Offers honest advice, even if it’s tough to hear.
Stands by you in difficult situations.
Trusts and is trustworthy.
Shares in your joys and sorrows.
Encourages your personal growth.
Values the friendship for what it is.
Friendships are built on a foundation of trust, support, and care. The qualities of a true friend extend beyond surface-level interactions, encompassing understanding, loyalty, and a shared journey through the hills and valleys of life. Cultivating and cherishing these connections enrich our lives and contribute to our overall well-being and that of the people we are in relationships with.
This year, do you want to continue having easygoing friends, or do you want the absolute hard truths, the tough love, the support, the celebrations, and the comfort? Do you want to continue being the easygoing friend, or do you want more meaningful relationships?
I’m choosing to only show up as a true friend this year.
