Looking for Rest in All the Wrong Places
I continue to overbook myself, and I wouldn’t say I like it. I missed a meeting yesterday because I forgot to place it on my calendar. I felt terrible about it, so I rescheduled it for the following day. Then, another emergent meeting was scheduled for the following day as well. I’d already had two other meetings scheduled for that day. So now that day, I had the following schedule:
600 am wake up
800 am conference start
1200 pm lunch
400 pm conference end
500 pm internship supervision
530 pm wealth advisor call
600 pm internship client session
700 pm internship client session
800 pm 50 min fartlek run
930 pm braid hair
1100 pm go to bed
Are you tired yet; because I am? This has been my life for a long time. This type of schedule has been happening to me for a while because I’ve allowed it. I have searched for a chance to have a nap since yesterday, and I don’t see it happening until sometime next week. Honestly, even then, it may not occur. How did I get here? I overextend myself. I don’t say no, and I pile on significantly more than I can handle.
I have to stop saying yes to things, signing up for things, and placing more on my plate. I don’t have the mental capacity for it. It’s a habit that I need to break because, as I stated before, I am tired. When I am presented with opportunities, I need to lay out the pros and cons for deciding which opportunities to say no toad determine which ones don’t require an immediate yes. All I am doing is leading myself down a pathway towards burnout.
Firstly, I need to determine my need always to say yes to things. I feel like I always need to engage in an activity. If I’m not doing something, I think that I am being unproductive, but I know now that this is not true. I need to give myself white space and time for spending time with people and pampering myself. I don’t always need to be engaged, and it is not the end of the world if I choose to sit and do nothing some days. Doing nothing and relaxing is better than burnout.
I also need to determine if I even want to be doing some of the things I am currently doing. When I started school three years ago, I wanted to be a therapist, see clients, and one day open a wellness center with my best friend. Since then, a lot has changed in my life, and so has my mind. I don’t know if I want to do these things anymore because all I can focus on is when my next break will be.
When working with clients, I like to ask them what are some things that are important to them and how is what they are doing every day in alignment with those things? So now I am finding myself asking the same things. Am
I doing things in alignment with what is important to me? I think I thought I was; however, what I need to realize is that I don’t need to participate in everything. Sometimes, it is okay to say no.
School is winding down and my internship is ending. I am looking forward to more time with loved ones and more time to write. I am looking forward to volunteering again and traveling more. I am looking forward to working less and resting more. Most of all, I am looking forward to being in alignment with what God has in store for me.
