Girls, Girls, Girls…
The humans in this house gotta thing for girl cats — there’s four of us, and for a long time, there were only two boy cats, but now there’s three.
Today Imma tell you ‘bout two o’ the girl cats, and boy howdy, ain’t they both a pain!
The first cat is this one. They call her Goldie.
This one thinks she’s somethin’ special, like actual gold or somethin’. She’s been with the female human almost as long as I’ve been alive — 15 years — since she was a kitten. And ‘cuz o’ that, she thinks she can get away with mostly anythin’. And she ain’t wrong.
She got them big ol’ eyes, and she figured out how ta stare at the people, and man alive if they don’t give her what she wants. I gotta yowl for what I want, but that one, she just gotta look at ’em. It’s unfair, I tellya.
And then there’s this one, called Coco:
She got issues. Not like the boy cat with his brain bein’ wired all wrong, but issues just tha same. She can’t stop lickin’ herself. If she was covered in somethin’ tasty, like fish, I could see the non-stop lickin’, but she ain’t. She done licked herself so much she ain’t got no hair on some parts of ‘er! Our people gotta give ‘er meds to help, but she don’ like ’em, and she spits ’em out. Don’t blame ‘er. I don’t like meds, myself.
The other thing she does is talk. She talks all the time, but most loudly when the people are eatin’. And then she jumps on tha counter! While they’re eatin’! And she puts her you-know-what in their faces! And dips her tail in their drinks! What’s she thinkin’, doin’ that? I’ll tell you whut, she’s thinkin’ they’re gonna give her some treats ta go away, and you know what? Sometimes they do! Silly people, reinforcin’ her behavior. Even *I* know that’s a power play!
The worst thing about that Coco, though, is that sometimes, she tries to take my warm spot. I get it, she ain’t got hair, and it’s hard to be warm when you ain’t got no hair, but that don’t mean you take *my* spot! She gotta respect her elders! Sheesh.
Them girl cats. I tell ya. Pain in my tuchus.
