How Your Cat Shows You That You Aren’t Playing With Them Enough
Hah! That sucker Moxie left the laptop unattended. Writing can’t be that hard, right?
My name is Coco von Fluffytocks, but you can call me Coco. After seeing Moxie’s “writing”, I decided I wanted to try my paw at it as well. (At least I don’t turn every other word into a contraction *eyeroll*)
I’ve lived with a couple sets of humans, and here’s the thing — you guys *think* you know what we want, but you’re wrong, like, 99% of the time.
And while I’d love to take the time to fill you in about all the things you’re doing wrong, I need a nap soon, so I’m picking the one thing I think you screw up a lot — playtime.
See, despite my aloof exterior, I do enjoy a good romp here and there, and if you choose to ignore that need, I’ll find creative ways to retaliate (That smell? You’ll never find it. Your fault.).
The humans I live with now have like six cats (I can’t keep track, who has time for that), so they are *always* trying to deal with behaviors, and like I said before, they’re kinda too dumb to realize that we wouldn’t have to act out if they’d just play with us.
I’ll present these in list form, because I know humans have short attention spans.
Ways your cats show you they need more playtime:
-Waking you up at all hours of the night — Look, if you’re not going to play with us during the day, we’ll just force you to play with us at night. Chasing us out of the room while yelling at us for walking on your face? That’s fun!
-Peeing and pooping anywhere BUT the litter box (I told you you’d never find the smell.) (Admittedly, sometimes I’ll pee somewhere because I don’t feel good, so you should check with your vet if you’re seeing this behavior.)
-Your cat’s turned into a chonk (*stares at Mama*)…I mean honestly, look at that belly. Ridiculous.
-Sitting on your laptop when you’re trying to work, or jumping on the table when you’re trying to eat, or basically doing anything annoying to get your attention (I might be really good at the lunchtime attention grab)
-Totally ignoring you — If you give us the silent treatment, we’ll do it right back. No cuddles for you — find somebody else to be your snugglebug.
-Attacking you. I mean, if you’re not going to give us something we *should* attack, we’ll just attack something we shouldn’t. Your ankles look tasty.
-Clawing furniture/drapes/anything you tell us not to. Look, just because you spent $120 on that fancy cat tree doesn’t mean I’m going to use it. You need to make it worth my while, otherwise it’s just going to collect dust in the corner with the other things you don’t use (like that elliptical…and the treadmill…)
Obviously this isn’t a comprehensive list — these are just the behaviors that the six of us sometimes exhibit in the house. Maybe you should pay attention to what your cats are trying to tell you with how they behave, eh? *gives humans the stink-eye*
Hmm. This writing thing isn’t that hard. Might try this again. After my nap.
