Fantasy State of the Union: Week 4
With Week 4 of the NFL season in the books it’s time to see how everyone in the Big Baller Brand League sponsored by Yobagoya fared.
COB vs. Jackson
After crowing about how Jackson’s QBs were underperforming each week, they finally decided to show up and propel him to victory over me this week. Poetic justice, I suppose. On top of Andy Dalton and Eli Manning’s combined 55.9 points, Jackson got decent production out of Shady McCoy, Alshon Jeffrey, Dalvin Cook, and Wendell Smallwood. Jackson was especially stoked about “Wendell and his Smallwood” as he calls him, this week and will likely need to lean on him going forward given the fact that Dalvin Cook is out for the season with a torn ACL. Perhaps the most shocking performance for Jackson was the Saints Defense, usually one of the worst in the league, who pitched the first shutout in London football history.
I definitely did my share to lose this game too, leaving 16.5 points from Duke Johnson and 16.1 points from LeGarrette Blount on the bench in favor of Marqise Lee (2.8 points) and Melvin Gordon (3.4 point). Not one to “make excuses” but I did that on purpose for my boy Jack because HE’S GETTING MARRIED BOYS. That’s right, he popped the question to his lady friend Julia this weekend. Huge pre-emptive congrats on the sex, buddy. Sure, I didn’t know that until after the fact, but I knew it all along and you can count this free W as your wedding present from me buddy. I couldn’t make it look like too much of a flop at the time so I decided to play Bilal Powell over Mike Gillislee. Really happy I swapped those 2 before hitting the links during the morning games. Outside of that, got some nice duds out of TY Hilton, Jay Cutler, and Jason Witten, who’s getting dropped like a hot potato this week. Witten has been garbage since I snagged him off waivers and Jay Cutler should’ve just stayed retired. That’s what I get for waiting until the 1323249th round to pick my 2nd QB and not dropping him in favor of literally anyone else after last week. Those are the kinds of decisions that lead you to score 124 after putting up 170 last week.
Now on to the 2nd most important story-line of this match-up, the Jags’ D. While they lost to the Jets (who somehow have a 2 game winning streak now…), the defense wasn’t entirely to blame. Yes, they allowed 471 yards, including 256 rushing yards (75 of them on a play when they forgot to tackle Bilal Powell), but they racked up 5 sacks and forced 2 turnovers, including an 81-yard fumble return for a TD by Myles Jack in the 4th that got them back within 3 points. I’m going to chalk this up as a “new Jags’ D” game, making the score 3–1 in my favor so far this season. If only the new Jags’ Offense (the one that showed up against the Ravens) would show up too.
Next Week: COB vs. Shriver, Jackson vs. Plummer
Aaron vs. Plummer
Aaron, like the Jets, finds himself on a 2-game win streak thanks to DeShaun Watson’s rookie record-breaking performance, DeAndre Hopkins, Travis Kelce, Keenan Allen, and Cooper Kupp. He has just as many wins as the Patriots do right now (2), though I have a better feeling about the Pats turning their season around than I do Aaron. His 3 running backs combined for 6.7 points this week. That’s bad. Like really bad. Like Aaron, hit me up with a trade offer because I have decent RBs and you need one like JFK’s car needed a roof. The one thing he has going in his favor is Doug Martin returning from suspension next week, though it’s no guarantee he’ll take the starting role back from Jacquizz Rodgers. Either way, Aaron needs some help in the backfield if his team gonna continue Cooping Kupps and Busting Nuts for the rest of the season.
Plummer’s team took a gut shot this week with Derek Carr going down for the next 2–6 weeks with a back injury. As if losing to Aaron wasn’t bad enough! Yet again, Plummer was kept afloat by the production of his 2 stud running backs, though this time it was Zeke who was the bell cow while Kareem Hunt came back to Earth a little bit against an improved, but banged up Redskins defense. The rest of Plummer’s “all about potential” squad decided to err on the bust side of mediocre this week as Martavis Bryant (and the rest of the Steelers’ offense) took a back seat to Le’Veon Bell, Jermaine Kearse got blanketed by that frightening Jags secondary, and Joe Mixon saw his points go to Gio Bernard. The other bright spot on the roster here is Phillip Rivers, who has 19.8 points but still couldn’t will his Chargers to victory at “home” (there are always more fans from the visiting team than the Chargers at Home Depot Center).
Next Week: Aaron vs. Ben, Plummer vs. Jackson
Shriver vs. Thomas
Roll Damn Thomas this week. Tommy boy was all over Shriver this week thanks to solid outings from Kirk Cousins, Lamar Miller, Tyrel Williams, Gronk, and Terrelle Pryor. Early returns are definitely in favor of Thomas in the Miller-Benjamin swap with Griff last week. The only real disappointment here for Thomas was the fact that Chris Thompson came crashing back to Earth on 7 touches for 27 yards after putting up well over 100 yards from scrimmage in each of the past 2 games. Overall, this was a great weekend to be Thomas, considering he got the W and his Gators put up some points against Vanderbilt after looking completely lost on offense in previous weeks. “Go Gators Gig’em” — Thomas.
On the other side of this matchup was Shriver, who got a huge day of Cam Newton and solid outings from Devonta Freeman, Jordan Howard, Marcus Mariota, and Danny Amendola. The bad news out of this matchup is that Mariota has a strained hammy and could play this week but could also miss time. You never know with hamstring injuries. On top of that, Shriver decided not to play Devin Funchess, who dropped a solid 22.5. That would’ve been nice to have had instead of the 1.6 from Demaryius Thomas, 2.2 from Sammy Watkins, 3 from DeSean Jackson, or 1.2 out of Mohamed Sanu. Not a great week for Shriver’s receivers and it ended up being his downfall.
Next Week: Shriver vs. COB, Thomas vs. Tuna
Costas vs. Ben
I really thought this was going to be the week that Ben got his win. No, not because he only needed 11 points out of Tyreek Hill and Jamison Crowder on Monday night, but because Costas gave into temptation and ate McDonalds this week. And what happened when he did that? He only put up 137.6 points. I think we found out why Costas never won in this past. McDonalds is his kryptonite and Costas just couldn’t resist the sweet temptation of the tender frozen horse meat patties dripping in MSG and minimum wage “peasant” sweat this week. Thankfully, I still know a few people in Atlanta who might be able to get a nice McDouble to accidentally find it’s way into Costas’ bed ala Don Corleone leaving the horse head for Jack Woltz in The Godfather.
Outside of Todd Gurley continuing his revenge tour and the Seahawks taking 2 to the house against the Colts, Costas’ team basically came to a screeching halt, only getting double digits (barely) out of Ben Roethlisberger, Jacquizz Rodgers, and Carlos Hyde. Performances like this won’t cut it against anyone but Ben (or maybe myself if I have another week like this one).
Speaking of Ben, how did you manage to blow this one with 27.6 points from Russell Wilson, 32.6 points from Le’Veon Bell, and 18.6 points from newly acquired Ameer Abdullah??? Well, he can thank the Giant’s D (-2 points) and Jamison Crowder (-.2 points), but he can also thank the Redskins D for shutting down Tyreek Hill on Monday Night. Though the ‘Skins lost the game, I can at least take solace in the fact that they cost Ben a win. Sometimes the little things in life mean a lot. In the future, Ben’s going to need more than 21.7 points out of 5 receivers. In a spot of bright news for Ben, though, the Eagles won and Ben definitely won his trade with Derek this week (Jarvis Landry and Ameer Abdullah for Dez Bryant and Theo Riddick). First W for Ben this year, but unfortunately that one doesn’t show up on the scoreboard. Officially placing bets on whether the Chargers, Browns, Giants, or Ben get a win first.
Next Week: Costas vs. Colin, Ben vs. Aaron
Derek vs. Tuna
Since beating me in Week 2, Derek has now lost 2 in a row. Though he got decent numbers out of Tom Brady, CJ Anderson, Odell Beckham Jr, Dez Bryant, and Charles Clay, no one on his team blew up like they did in previous weeks. On top of that, Rick definitely lost out this week on his trade with Ben that sent Jarvis Landry and Ameer Abdullah to Ben in return for Dez Bryant and Theo Riddick. Odd trade by Rick swapping the clearly favored Adbullah for the less favored Riddick. He really must’ve wanted Dez which is also confusing since Dez hasn’t been the same since Dak Precott took over last year. Right now this looks like the kind of move that puts you with Jackson, Ben, and myself for the Sacko.
Tuna got lucky this week. Scoring 127 points generally won’t get you a W and normally having your Defense as your highest scorer (23 by the Texans) isn’t a good sign either. Luckily, Dak, Tevin Coleman, and Chris Hogan all put up just enough points to float the rest of his squad. At what point does Tuna become concerned with Matt Ryan’s play? After tearing it up last year, Ryan has really come back to Earth and is looking like the Matt Ryan of old. By Matt Ryan of old I mean the guy that threw for 66% completion percentage, 4000+ yards and less than 30 TDs 3 years in a row. No other QB has done that in any single season. Not good, dude.
Next Week: Derek vs. Griff, Tuna vs. Thomas
Griff vs. Colin
Another week, another win for Griff thanks to the dynamic duo of Aaron Rodger and Jordy Nelson. Outside of that pair, he really only got production out of Kelvin Benjamin and James White (ish). Early returns on the Kelvin Benjamin for Lamar Miller are definitely in Thomas’s favor, especially considering Chris Carson is out for the season after suffering a rather nasty broken ankle. A good sign for Griff is that Alvin Kamara put up a nice game and has definitely supplanted AP as the #2 back in New Orleans. How much longer before he leap-frogs Mark Ingram for the top spot? Probably not soon, but I wouldn’t be shocked to see it happen before the end of the season. Either way, he’ll be in a time share like every Saints back has been for the last 769813726473 years. Overall, not a stellar week for the OBGYNs, but playing Colin as a pretty good remedy for that. No scaries for Griff this Sunday.
Colin’s team is hanging on by a string right now. Sure, Leonard Fournette, AJ Green, and Stefon Diggs had their customary big games but the fact that he continues to play 1 QB is really hurting him. Jay Ajayi is falling victim to a sputtering Dolphins offense,Ty Montgomery has broken ribs but no one wants to admit it or else people will go after him in the upcoming weeks, and Jeremy Maclin has cooled off significantly along with the rest of the Ravens offense. Supposedly, Andrew Luck and Sam Bradford both have a shot at making it back for next week’s games. If that’s the case, Colin’s team could get the pick-me-up it so desperately need, but if not, it could be another week as low scorer. How many more can he keep doing this before he tries to make a move for a healthy, starter quality QB? Only time will tell.
Next Week: Griff vs. Derek, Colin vs. Costas
With this week’s games in the books, let’s take a look at the standings. Costas is still on top and Ben is still on bottom (sexually?). Nothing new there. The reason I included the full standings today was to highlight the ridiculousness of my points for vs. points against situation. I’m 1–3 and 9th overall. Somehow, though, I have the 3rd most points for (Jackson, Ben, and Derek are 10–12th, same as their records) and have the most points scored against me. Can’t catch a damn break man. So goes fantasy football I suppose.
No picks from Plummer this week, but maybe he’ll grace us with this slightly above average calls next week.
Tune in next week to see how everyone deals with the first true Bye Week. Can Costas rebound from his McDonalds relapse and keep winning? Will Ben ever win anything again in his life ever? Can I start the right guys and win a damn game? Should be interesting. That’s all for this week football fans.
