Fantasy State of the Union: Week 5
With Week 5 of the NFL season in the books, it’s time to see how everyone in the Big Baller Brand League sponsored by Yobagoya fared.
COB vs. Shriver
This week was a tale of 2 halves. In the first half of the morning matchups, Shriver was projected to beat me. That’s right. Shriver’s 10 man squad was projected to beat my 12 man squad at about 11:30 am Pacific Time. Thankfully, my team woke up in the 2nd half of the early games. Though I was able to put up 156 points, my team was wildly inconsistent this week. I got huge performances out of Melvin Gordon, who finally put up the numbers I expected of him coming into this season, TY Hilton, who took advantage of a banged up and porous 49ers defense, Duke Johnson, who caught a late screen pass for a TD, Jacoby Brissett, who threw for 300 yards and ran for a TD but also threw a terrible pick in the endzone in OT, the Jags D, who I will discuss later, and Robbie Gould.
Conversely, I got plenty of dud performances as well. Jay Cutler, who I elected to keep over Joe Flacco (not elite) and Josh McCown during Drew Brees’ bye week, had negative points until the 4th quarter, Bilal Powell sucked before getting hurt, Randall Cobb ceded most of his points to Davante Adams despite having the 2nd most receptions on the Packers’ offense, Mike Gillislee couldn’t put the ball in the end zone, and Ben Watson looked old as shit. Huge that my big performances outweighed my duds because Shriver’s team definitely showed up to play this week.
Shriver’s team was much better than expected this week, putting up 113 points with only 10 players. Props to him for putting those kind on numbers up with 5 players (Devonta Freeman, Demaryius Thomas, Mohamed Sanu, Matt Bryant, Broncos D) on bye and Marcus Mariota out with a hamstring injury. If I was Shriver, I would’ve gotten rid of Bryant and maybe even Sanu or the Broncos D to fill my tight end and defense spots, but that’s just me.
As I said before, Shriver’s team looked strong early, thanks to a huge game by Cam Netwon (thanks a lot, Ed Dickson) and respectable outings by DeSean Jackson, Danny Amendola, and Devin Funchess. Outside of rookie Aaron Jones, who could continue to put up numbers if Ty Montgomery is out long term, the rest of this week’s games weren’t as kind to Shriver as Sammy Watkins dropped a goose egg, Mason Crosby decided to miss 2 XPs, Jordan Howard ran for 76 yards but didn’t receive a target, and Mitch Trubisky looked like a rookie (48% completions, 128 yards, 1 TD on a tipped pass, 1 INT) outside of a 2 point conversion on a sweet twist on a double reverse. Try to keep up with the ball on this one. It’s like play the game where you try to find the baseball under 1 of the 3 shuffled hats.
Like I alluded to earlier, the Jags D had a MASSIVE game once again. Despite going up against Big Ben, Le’Veon Bell, Antonio Brown, Martavis Bryant, and the vaunted Steelers’ offense, my boys were able to rack up 26 points. That’s right, 26 point! Enough to be my highest scorer until Melvin Gordon’s receiving touchdown late in the 4th pushed him to 31.3 points. The Jags racked up those 26 points on 5 INTs, including 2 pick-sixes, and 2 sacks. Not included in that total were 12 passed defensed. Insane. If you count the Jag D as a whole, they were Ben’s leading fantasy scorer at receiver, with 5 receptions for 103 yards and 2 TDs (24.8 points). Sure, they let up 157 yards to Antonio Brown, but keeping him out of the end zone, forcing Big Ben into a career high 5 turnovers, and keeping Le’Veon Bell under 100 total yards is a huge win. The Jags D, especially their pass D, is very real and very scary.
Next week: COB vs. Tuna, Shriver vs. Jackson
Jackson vs. Plummer
Well, clearly Plummer didn’t get the memo that we were going to let Jackson get a couple wins instead of buying him gifts off of his wedding registry. In Plummer’s defense, it’s hard to lose to a team that puts up 91.2 points. Jackson’s team was in a world of hurt going into the week, having just lost Dalvin Cook for the season. On top of that, Jackson’s new favorite guy, Wendell Smallwood, was ruled out prior to game time too. So much for the Rise of Wendell’s Smallwood.
Unfortunately for Jackson, that wasn’t the end of the misery. During the games, Andy Dalton managed to tweak his ankle, Brandon Marshall went down with a season (career?) ending ankle injury, and Eli Manning was left with only 1 healthy receiver by the end of the game, so he decided it would be smart to fumble the ball on 3rd down late in the 4th to set up a Chargers comeback victory. Really couldn’t have gone much worse for Jackson this week, and as much as I hate to say it, there doesn’t appear to be a light at the end of the tunnel here.
On the other side of the ball, Plummer really got away with one this week. Plummer winning this matchup is like beating a kid on crutches in a foot race or winning a long division contest with a 1st grader or being that NBA player who stuffs the ever living shit out of the little kids at basketball camps. Not saying much. But, in the end of the day, a win’s a win and this one, though not impressive by any stretch of the word, officially gives Plummer more wins than he had all of last year. Everyone pause to understand the gravity of this moment.
Plummer’s squad had 1 standout this week: Harrison Butker, who went 5/5 of FGs and 3/3 on XPs on his way to being Plummer’s leading scorer for the week. Generally not a good thing if your kicker is your leading scorer. Anyway, he also got solid performances out of Phillip Rivers, Zeke, Joe Mixon, and Kareem Hunt. If I was Plummer, I’d be a little concerned about the lack of production out of my wide receivers. This is a .5 PPR league, after all. On the bright side, it appears that Derek Carr might be back next week? (Hah funny because back injury, get it?)
Next week: Jackson vs. Shriver, Plummer vs. Ben
Ben vs. Aaron
Believe it or not, this game was a lot closer than it looked. Until the Sunday night game started, there was a feeling that Ben might actually get his first win this week. That feeling died a little bit after the first DeShaun Watson to DeAndre Hopkins TD. Then, we all got our hopes up for a second when Tyreek Hill took a punt to the house. Then, all hopes were completely lost with 2 more Watson to Hopkins TDs. What makes this loss even tougher for Ben was that he couldn’t even fully enjoy Carson Wentz’s first 3+ TD game because every time Wentz scored it put Ben’s fantasy team further and further in a hole. Talk about torture.
Everyone on Ben’s squad this week either score 10–15 points or 3–4. Not a recipe for success. Carson Palmer, Zach Ertz, Tyreek Hill, and Jarvis Landry all did their part to boost Ben to victory this week, putting up 13+ each. I’m not counting Le’Veon Bell in that list because he only put up 14.3 points against a Jags D that has been really bad against the run. Sure, that’s not entirely his fault, but you would have to figure that they would’ve tried something different at some point during Ben’s 5-pick day. Nope, they just kept on throwing it. 55 times. The only thing that saved Le’Veon’s day was 10 receptions. He didn’t even amass 100 total yards. That’s the 4th time in 5 games he’s been under the 100 total yard mark after averaging about 150 per game last year. Not good.
After making fun of Aaron for waiting on QBs, it’s only appropriate that his QBs are keeping his team alive. DeShaun Watson has been nothing short of exceptional and has resurrected DeAndre Hopkins’ fantasy career and Carson Wentz looks like the best QB in the NFC East. Another good sign for Aaron this week was Christian McCaffrey scoring his first NFL touchdown and Doug Martin taking back his staring role in Tampa with a solid performance. In stark contrast to a few weeks ago, his running backs looked okay, though having McCaffrey rush for 7 yards and score double digit points isn’t exactly sustainable. Or maybe it is if Cam Newton is going to keep throwing the ball like he has the last 2 week. Maybe Aaron will be able to survive without David Johnson?
Next week: Ben vs. Plummer, Aaron vs. Colin
Tuna vs. Thomas
Thomas’s team got hit hard by byes and injuries this week with Gronk, Kirk Cousins, Terrelle Pryor, and Chris Thompson all out of commission. The guys that Thomas played in their stead didn’t exactly do much. DeShone Kizer got benched against a miserable Jets D, only for Kevin Hogan to put up respectable numbers in the 2nd half, Dwayne Allen (or any Patriots TE) didn't receive a single target, and Chris Johnson and Paul Richardson did next to nothing. Another interesting development for Thomas is the trade that sent AP to the Cardinals. That ought to take some carries away from CJ2K, though it won’t affect Andre Ellington as the receiving back.
Good thing for Tuna that he didn’t accept my offer of Mike Gillislee and Jay Cutler for Alex Smith. Actually, not sure if he rejected it or if he let it expire or if he never even saw it at all. Probably never saw it at all. Regardless, Smith was once again, a stud, racking up 26.7 points. Pair that with Dak Prescott’s 29.7, Davante Adams’ 22.1, Chris Hogan’s 17.4, and Brandin Cooks’ 11, and you account for 106.9 of Tuna’s 128.9 points. That means the other 7 guys scored 22 points. Definitely not helped by -7 from the Texans D, who are now without JJ Watt and Whitney Mercilus for the rest of the year, but still, yikes. Good thing he gets Tevin Coleman and Emmanuel Sanders back from bye this week. He’s going to need more out of his running backs, especially when his Pats receiver duo goes on bye later this season.
Next week: Tuna vs. COB, Thomas vs. Griff
Colin vs. Costas
Everything is right in the world. We can all stop wondering if the Mayan Calendar was off by a few years or if this is the third coming of Jesus Christ because the Costas we’ve all come to know and love is back in full force. Maybe the McDonalds incident from last week took a week to sink in. Who knows? Maybe this whole situation was like Squidward eating Krabby Patties. He may not have lost last week but it sure caught up to him this week.
Costas dropped the 2nd biggest dud of the season with 81 points. He only got double digit performances out of Jimmy Graham, Frank Gore (by .1 points), Matt Stafford, and Blair Walsh. The other 8 players he started averaged a paltry 3.9 point average. I can only imagine Costas watching the games from his couch, blue in the face from dropping F-Bombs like Amari Cooper drops 5 yard out routes and screaming at his TV about how all of his players are peasants and how worthless they are to him. Warms my soul just thinking about it.
The beneficiary of Costas’ return to glory was Colin, though he didn’t really need it. Much like my team, Colin’s squad either put up great numbers or did next to nothing. AJ Green and Leonard Fournette both went off this week thanks to heavy workloads and long TDs and Kyle Rudolph, Michael Crabtree, and Adam Vinatieri all had solid performances as well. Outside of that, it was a disappointing week for the Hive as Jay Ajayi continued to disappoint, Sam Bradford tried to play but still wasn’t healthy, and Stefon Diggs only reeled in 1 catch while fighting a groin injury. Good thing for Colin that Trevor Siemian is back from bye this week. If Luck or Bradford doesn’t come back soon you have to wonder how much longer Colin can survive this 1-QB charade.
Next week: Colin vs. Aaron, Costas vs. Derek
Derek vs. Griff
Calling it right now — this is the last “productive” week we see out of Derek’s team. 119 points could be a ceiling for him until the bye weeks end. Why is that? Because Odell Beckham Jr is now out for the season. Now, all Derek has is Tom Brady. Sure, Will Fuller has looked good in his return to the lineup and Dez’s production has gone up a little bit lately too, but that won’t be enough to make up for OBJ.
Good thing Derek wasn’t around to watch this weekend, deciding to go to ACL instead. If Derek’s going to go to festivals to keep his mind off his team, he’s going to be broke by season end. There may not even be enough festivals for him to go to! Derek, I’d call your team garbage too, but I respect garbage too much to insult it like that.
On the other hand, the OBGYNs were wheeling and dealing once again this week. There really weren’t any bad performances on Griff’s squad. Even Jordy Nelson, who was held up by a bad hammy again, nearly up up double digits. The free agency addition of Jerick McKinnon is looking really strong right now as he clearly took control of the Vikings backfield over Latavius Murray. Beware, though. McKinnon has done this in years past, only to wilt late in the year. I’m interested to see how that one plays out. Only knock on Griff right now is that he has ZERO depth at receiver. Not a good look in a PPR league.
Side note, it’s been 2 weeks in a row without Sunday Scaries, which has to be a record for Griff. It’s amazing what graduating college, getting a full time job, and having a good fantasy team will do to your psyche.
Next week: Derek vs. Costas, Griff vs. Thomas
Let’s take a look at the standings.
After his ultra dud, Costas lost his grasp on the top spot, supplanted by Griff who’s currently the high scorer in the league, leading me by exactly 1 point. Hopefully my team keeps scoring like it has lately so I can put together a record that matches my scoring output. Also up top, mostly due to other teams putting up duds against him every week, is Tuna. Wouldn’t expect that to last long.
On the other side of the spectrum are the same guys as last week: Jackson, Derek, and Ben (not me though!). I really don’t see this trip getting out from the cellar. Between injuries and bad draft strategies these guys are all screwed. Also, side note, the Charger got a win before Ben. He still has a chance to beat the Brown and Giants, though!
Tune back in next week to see how we’re all doing after Week 6. Can Costas get back on track and kick the curse of the McDonalds? Will Tuna beat COB to stay at the top (hint: no)? Can Ben win anything ever again, ever? He sure doesn’t think so:
Til next time, football fans.
