Fantasy State of the Union: Week 7
With Week 7 of the NFL season in the books, it’s time to see how the “experts” in the Big Baller Brand League sponsored by Yobagoya fared.
COB vs. Griff
Well this week sucked. After alternating between 170+ point weeks and sub 120 points weeks, I thought I was due for a big one. Boy was I wrong. My leading scorer for the week was Drew Brees, who had a respectable 19.1 points but threw 2 first quarter picks. Outside of that, none of my field players really did much. Melvin Gordon racked up 44 total yards on 19 touched (21 yards came on 1 play and he only had 1 catch), Larry Fitzgerald went completely ignored by Drew Stanton (0 targets in the 2nd half), TY Hilton fell victim to Jacoby Brissett getting sacked 10 times, and Randall Cobb suffered through an 87 yard passing performance by Brett Hundley. Nothing good to report there. Going forward, it doesn’t look like it’s going to get much better since Larry Fitz and Randall Cobb will be stuck with backup QBs for the rest of the fantasy regular season and TY Hilton has been maddeningly inconsistent (thanks a lot Jacoby Brissett). Scoring 108 points is rarely enough to get you a win and this week was no exception.
The worst part about losing to Griff while putting up 108 points (not that I should be complaining that I was in contention with only 108 points) is that I was winning by 14 going into Monday night and all that Griff had left was Jordan Reed. Now, I’m a ‘Skins fan first and foremost, so when any one of my boys has a good game, I’m usually stoked. This time it’s different. Jordan has been screwing me all season in another league (0 TDs and 0 games with 50+ yards receiving prior to tonight), the ‘Skins lost to the Eagles, I didn’t get to watch the game, AND Griff beat me. The real reason I’m pissed off is that now I have to slap an Eagles magnet on my car. If you think back a few weeks, you’ll remember that I’m currently rocking Eagles car flags as well. Now, I get those for 10 more weeks and I have to rock some additional shitty “Go Birds” gear too. After beating Ben twice last season, I’ve become the butt of the joke this year. At this rate, I’m going to have to name my firstborn son Carson Long-Cox Dawkins-O’Brien. This picture of Griff sums up how I feel right about now:
Back to Griff’s team. Outside of beating me in what could be described as a boxing match between 2 blind guys, he’s in a world of hurt. This week, he traded Buck Allen and James White to Ben in exchange for Carson Palmer in a desperate attempt to replace Aaron Rodgers, only for Palmer to break his arm. As if losing Rodgers wasn’t bad enough. Oh yeah, and now that Rodgers is out, Jordy Nelson is gonna suck too. Thanks a lot, Brett Hundley. On top of that, he had Marshawn Lynch, who got ejected after almost fighting a ref. At least he taught some white dude how to pop his collar on BART later that night. +1 swag
Despite those duds, Griff got 20+ point performances out of Jordan Reed and Jameis Winston (what happened to a sprained AC joint in his throwing shoulder?) and 17 out of Legatron. Going forward, Griff is gonna have to pull off another QB trade (or deal with Mitch Trubisky, who had 4 completions on Sunday), rely on Alvin Kamara, and hope that Latavius Murray doesn’t steal Jerick McKinnon’s thunder like he did this weekend. Man, this is the worst 5–2 roster I’ve ever seen.
As per usual, it’s time to check in on my beloved Jags D. They were oh-so-close to being my highest scorer this week. Despite not forcing a single turnover, they put up 17 points, thanks to the fact that they racked up 10 sacks (for the 2nd time this season) while pitching a shutout against the Colts. If you still don’t think the Jags D is real, you probably also think that world is flat (@ Kyrie), the holocaust didn’t happen, and that the moon landing is a Hollywood conspiracy.
Next Week: COB vs. Costas, Griff vs. Shriver
Jackson vs. Ben
What the hell happened here this week? Aren’t these guys supposed to be 2 of the worst teams in the league?? If you looked at this week alone, you sure wouldn’t believe it.
Jackson’s squad came out strong early with 41.5 points from Amari Cooper, who was coming off of 3 consecutive games with less than 10 yards receiving. Talk about a bounce back performance. Jack also got some solid numbers out of Shady (finally) and Aaron Jones, who has apparently taken over the lead running back role in Green Bay. Huge for Jack, if true. Outside of those 3, it was mostly disappointing performances with only Jake Elliott and Andy Dalton (barely) in double digits. I’m gonna chalk this one up as a 1 week fluke. Despite showing signs of life, the fall of Wendell’s Smallwood continues.
Don’t look now, but Ben is on a 2 game winning streak. He’s actually put up a decent amount of points this season but just hasn’t been able to win. After a couple surprisingly savvy trades, his roster is full of potential, and boy did Ben’s roster live up to that potential this week. Only 3 of Ben’s skill players scored under 12.5 points. Le’Veon looks like his old self, Russell Wilson has rekindled his connection with Doug Baldwin, Tyreek Hill ripped off a long touchdown, Zach Ertz gave the ‘Skins fits, James White was the best Pats RB yet again, Jarvis Landry hit pay-dirt (and should see an uptick in numbers of Matt Moore continues to start), and even Allen Hurns went for over 100 yards. What the hell?! Maybe Ben’s team isn’t quite as bad as it looked 2 weeks ago. Jury’s still out on that one, but it’s worth keeping an eye on this one.
Next Week: Ben vs. Colin, Jackson vs. Tuna
Plummer vs. Colin
This matchup was ridiculous for a few reasons:
1. Plummer became just the 2nd player in league history to drop 200 points in a game. Griff was the first to do it, scoring 200 points vs. Ben last year.
2. Colin has the new lowest score on the year, supplanting Derek’s 73.3. Colin, if you were gonna suck this badly this week, you should’ve just scored 69 (nice) to make it somewhat cool.
3. If you do the math, Plummer was about 10 points short of TRIPLING Colin’s score. That’s right TRIPLING. It’s embarrassing enough to get doubled up but I’ve never seen someone come remotely close to this before.
Plummer’s team was unbelievable across the board this week. Derek Carr came back from his back injury and threw all over the Chiefs D (417 yards and 3 TDs) and Zeke ran rampant (219 total yards and 3 TDs) against the 49ers. Those 2 alone would’ve only lost to Colin by .4 points. There really weren’t any weak spots on Plum’s roster this week with everyone but Michael Crabtree, Joe Mixon, and the Saints D in double digits. I’ll give Crab a pass since he did catch the game winning TD on Thursday night. As long as Zeke isn’t suspended, this is a team to be scared of.
There really isn’t much to say about Colin’s team this week. Defense drops -5, Vinatieri (Colts didn’t score) and Kendall Wright (Trubisky had 4 completions on the day) dropped goose eggs, and he had 4 players ruled out on his bench. Without Luck and Fournette this team blows more than Monica Lewinski.
Next Week: Colin vs. Ben, Plummer vs. Derek
Tuna vs. Shriver
How many times can Tuna have a mediocre week and still pull out a win? He’s 6–1 right now with the least points scored against him by roughly 60. Plain and simple, his team’s not actually that good but people find a way to lose to him anyway (case and point being me last week). This week was no exception.
The only thing keeping Tuna afloat is his QB play. Alex Smith has been the surprise of the year at QB, Matt Ryan, though not as good as last year (told you Kyle Shanahan leaving would matter), has been solid, and Dak Prescott has continued to impress, for the most part, after a stellar rookie season. Tuna continues to get production out of his Pats receiver duo, but nothing from his running backs. These kinda of wins aren’t sustainable. Who will be the one to beat this man?
Answer: not Shriver. Man, Shriver has to be glad Colin’s team barely broke 70 because if not for that, he’d be the talk of the town, barely breaking 80. Shriver’s squad was bad across the board, only getting double digit performances from Devonta Freeman and Jason Witten. Cam Newton was a turnover machine against the Bears (no TDs and 2 pick sixes???), Jordan Howard didn’t score much because the Bears D was doing all the heavy lifting, and Marcus Mariota couldn’t get anything going against the Browns??? Man, this week was confusing.
Next Week: Tuna vs. Jackson, Shriver vs. Griff
Costas vs. Thomas
Costas’ squad, once again, went full Big Boy this week with double digit performances out of everyone but Roger Lewis and Frank Gore. Impressive considering Golden Tate and Matt Stafford were on bye as well. I’m really not sure who can stop Costas other than himself as this point. Todd Gurley continues to rack up numbers like it’s his rookie season again, Julio looks like himself (finally), Doug Baldwin keeps on long scoring TDs, and Mark Ingram has only gotten better since they ditched AP, even though Alvin Kamara is getting a bigger share of the load too.
The only reason I’m holding out hope against Costas next week is that he made some unhealthy choices at Homecoming this past week. Last time he lost, it took a week for his McDonalds indiscretion to set in, so I’m hoping that the fact that he got wasted, turned into a human smokestack, and blew some $$$ at the Cheetah will yield the same results.
Thomas’ squad just couldn’t keep up with Costas’ juggernaut team. Thomas’ QB play wasn’t an issue (even Josh McCown continues to put up numbers???) but his skill players really didn’t do him much outside of AB and Chris Thompson. I’m chalking Gronk’s dip in production up to an athletic Falcons defense, but Terrelle Pryor, Thomas Rawls, and Tyrell Williams have been flat out useless this year. Thomas is going to need those guys to step up if he’s going to make a push back into the playoff hunt.
Fun side note: BCO writer Pat Chevalier hung out with Tyrell Williams this weekend. Apparently the dude is trash at 2K.
Next Week: Costas vs. COB, Thomas vs. Aaron
Derek vs. Aaron
Yet again, Aaron’s team was saved by Carson Wentz. In a week where DeShaun Watson and DeAndre Hopkins were on bye, Derek had to feel like he had a shot. He actually did too. Well, that all died when Wentz took an Eagle-sized shit on my ‘Skins on MNF. Without Wentz, Aaron didn’t have much outside of Cooper Kupp, who had a nice catch and run for TD, Travis Kelce, the Rams D, who racked up one of 3 shutouts on the weekend, and Justin Tucker. Getting Watson and Hopkins back is huge for Aaron going forward because all he has to do it make it to Thanksgiving, when David Johnson is rumored to return. Question is, without Palmer, will they rush him back? Guess we’ll have to see.
Derek’s guys didn’t play that badly either, he just doesn’t have a lot to play with. Touchdown Tom led the Pats to victory but didn’t set the world on fire by any means, Blake Bortles threw for 300 yards and a TD, Dez has come to life since Rick went out and acquired him, and Nelson Agholor has developed a good report with Wentz, a far cry from his brick handed performances last year. The killer here for Rick is that he still can’t get anything from his RBs. After a performance that reminded us all of AP of yesteryear, he came crashing back to Earth, as expected, and CJ Anderson, Orleans Darkwa, and J-Stew are all stuck in confusing timeshares. Not a recipe for success.
Also, a happy belated birthday to Rickles. You said it best after taking the L last night: “People hate you when you’re 23, but 24 is already giving it a run for its money.”
Next Week: Derek vs. Plummer, Aaron vs. Thomas
Let’s take a look at the standings. Like I said before, Tuna has lucked his way into a tie at the top alongside Costas. Behind them, you have Griff (not for long), Aaron (Jesus, your team is scary), and Plummer who’s on the up and up. Conversely, you have Jack, Rick, Ben, and myself chillin at the bottom. Ben appears to be moving in the right direction, whereas the rest of us are stuck in neutral and rolling downhill.
Tune in next week to see how everyone did despite 6 teams being on bye this week. Can Ben stay hot? Will Costas’ unhealthy choices come back to haunt him? Will someone beat Tuna (please)? How bad will by car look with an Eagles magnet on it? Til next time, football fans.
