The 8 Week Dance to an Acquisition

In June 2016, Mylestoned, which preserves memories of the departed, acquired Heirloom, which beautifully digitizes paper photos.

Here’s the truth on how acquisitions actually work:

Primping [week 1]

• Baboon-level Google search uncovers Heirloom Photo Capture App.
• Mylestoned team Slack-discusses…even though they sit elbow to elbow.

Cue Music [weeks 2–3]

• Balter tweets at Heirloom CEO @ericowski. Response: “@davebalter would love to connect. will send you message on LinkedIn to coordinate.”
• Cut to meeting at a hipster coffee shop* in San Francisco. Turns out, Heirloom is currently evaluating dance partners.
• Mylestoned Team confirms strategy over whiteboard sessions with annoyingly half-dry markers.

Commence Twerking [weeks 4–7]

• Phone call from Balter to Owski to ask for the next dance.
• Slow waltz over a few weeks to align on overall deal structure.
• Legal duet ensues, basically coordinated synchronization to formalize paperwork.
• Last call snuggly slow dance includes final price and approval from stakeholders.

The Kiss Goodnight [weeks 8+]

• Their eyes lock. Signature.
• Balter and Co-founding Owski Brothers celebrate over a sweet dinner at San Francisco Gin & Tapas joint**.
• Executing on post transaction items begins. Balter expects non-malicious surprises and triple the work planned.

@google, @slack @linkedin and @twitter (and @medium) make appearances courtesy of Silicon Valley.

Email on loan from Ray Tomlinson.

Phone procured from Alexander Graham Bell.

Whiteboard appeared as understudy for @ideapaint.

* Sightglass Coffee

** Aatxe

*** A more traditional version of this article can be found on Business Insider.