How to Make Coaching Your Kid’s Team the Best of Both Worlds
Many fathers want to have an influence on the experiences their son or daughter is having on the field, but it can be difficult to separate the role of being a dad with that of being a coach. Clearly, you’re going to have a little bit of bias.
When adrenaline is flowing in the heat of a game, you can forget your role as a part of the team and say or do something embarrassing. Knowing when and how to be a coach and when to be a parent is necessary for everyone involved to get the most out of being part of the team — including, and especially, your kid.
Recognizing your parental bias, becoming a strong role model, and extending your familial support to the rest of the team will help you become a better coach and help motivate your team both on and off the field.
Recognize & Acknowledge Your Bias
According to USA Today, 85% of volunteer coaches are fathers coaching their own kids. Before you decide to take this step, determine why you are doing it. Sit down with your child and get them involved in the decision. Remember why your kid is playing. Sports should be about having fun before anything else. Otherwise, young athletes will start getting frustrated or bored.
If your main goal is making your child a star player, you neglect the important overall lessons your child needs to learn, and sabotages the rest of the team. Many parents favor their own child, but others will be too hard on them, even going so far as to ignore them because they’re “avoiding playing favorites.”
Being able to balance your biases and make objective decisions as a coach will help you to motivate your child and support the rest of the team. Remember that you won’t always be their coach, so you need to provide your child with good lessons to give them a bright future as a young athlete.
Roll with the Punches
As your kids get older, coaching becomes more and more challenging. Most parents struggle to balance their commitments of their career with their role as a parent, but coaches have unique responsibilities that make their job especially challenging. As important leaders in our communities, coaches can be lightning rods for controversy and problems that other parents can’t understand or help with.
Parents will often put coaches under a magnifying glass, and are unforgiving and unkind towards mistakes. When your high school or college team is in the spotlight, you need to have thick skin when bad news arises. You need to remember to manage the good with the bad, and stay focused on supporting your team.
Great coaches are able to weather the storm, and act as positive role models for how to stay cool and calm under pressure.
Channel Your Parental Instincts
As a parent, you want to provide your child with direction and growth, and raise them to be the best you can. Coaches (and teachers) are responsible for imparting wisdom on a whole group of kids. The way you guide your team will help shape their growth and development.
Coaching a team shouldn’t be all about running effective drills and nailing killer plays. The greatest coaches focus on having an positive impact both on and off the field, and bringing the team together as a family.
Getting to know your athletes and understanding their personal strengths and weaknesses will help you adapt to their specific needs. It’s very tempting to rely on your key players, but coaches need to properly train the entire team to be able to handle clutch moments during the game.
One of the most important lessons you can share with your team is that of good sportsmanship. Once the game is underway, it can be tempting to focus on the negatives and get frustrated when something goes wrong, but young athletes look up to their coach to guide them along with positive reinforcement when they’re struggling to stay motivated.
With any luck, your child will be inspired by your positive team leadership, and both of you will reap the benefits of being a part of something bigger than yourselves.
Establish Trust with Parents
Perhaps the most difficult relationship coaches will have is with their athlete’s parents. Especially when other parents see your child on the field, it’s very easy for someone to point the finger and tell you how you’re coaching their child wrong.
Having transparency and being able to communicate effectively is vital in order to help parents understand that you are only human, and you are trying your best to have a positive impact on the kids that you are coaching.
Clarify your expectations and goals early in the season, and make yourself available for feedback. Using BAND is a great way to open up the channels to feedback while balancing out your duties as a parent and coach.
