Cashing in on a priceless friendship
Best friends are beneficial for many reasons. They’re there whenever you need to vent about something as trivial as the barista messing up your order, they’ll always throw you a “like” on Insta and they make the best brunch buddies.
But they also have a major impact on your financial habits.
I’m not a big believer in bragging, but I can’t lie … my best friend Helene and I have this whole #FriendshipGoals thing locked down.
We make Serena van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf look like BFF amateurs.
Since we were 11 years old, we’ve been inseparable. Almost every favorite memory I have has Helene in it. She’s a laugh-until-you cry, knows-what-you’re-thinking-with-one-look, type of friend.
From spending all our allowance on Homecoming dresses to griping about the cost of college textbooks to raising a glass to our first job offers, I’ve been through it all with her. Aside from my parents, she knows where I’m at financially better than anyone else.
And there are a few things I’d like to thank her for.
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Thank you for … keeping me financially accountable.
The biggest difference between a friend and a best friend is their ability to tell it to you straight.
Sometimes, you need someone to physically rip that phone out of your hand to keep you from texting that guy who is just bad news, or someone to tell you that as hard as you try, orange is just not your color. You also need someone to tell you when you’re being an idiot with your money.
For me, that’s where Helene comes in.
I definitely think it’s important to keep your finances, for the most part, to yourself. Sharing with your whole crew your salary and what your budget is down to the penny is not a good idea. You’re welcoming the opportunity for cattiness and competitiveness. But, you need one person who you trust to keep you in check.
I trust Helene.
After 12 years of friendship, I trust that she has my best interest in her heart. In many friendships, sometimes it’s hard to be completely free of feelings of jealousy or judgment. But best friends are different. They’re rooting for your success, and would be devastated to see you sinking in credit card debt or struggling to pay off a loan you just can’t afford.
On many occasions, I text Helene photos of big purchases I’m thinking about making, because I value her opinion. I know she’ll be brutally honest with me, but I also know it’s coming from a genuine place.
“That’s a lot of money.”
“Get it. You deserve it.”
“Where can I get one?? LOL.”
She’s seen me mess up on more occasions than one, and often, she was right by my side when those financial flubs went down. I would let her have her “told you so” moment, but then she’d help me figure out what the next step is.
She knows the contents of my closet like it’s her own, so she knows when I’ve doubled my wardrobe and am probably overspending. She’s my #1 fan on all my social media accounts (thnx girl), so she knows when I’m probably spending too much on brunches, concerts and trips.
And she’ll say something. Because she knows it’s exactly what I need to hear to keep me on solid financial footing.
Thank you for … loving me when I was broke.
It’s easy to have fun with your squad when you’re constantly doing fun (and expensive) things. It’s similar to The Bachelor; like duh, they’re going to fall in love when they’re doing elaborate, romantic things on every date.
For friends, it’s easy to fall into the same trap. You can build friendships solely on the fact that you’re doing exciting and pricey activities. It’s easy to have fun on a booze cruise, an expensive vacation or on a shopping spree.
But there’s something to be said about the best friends who stick by your side when you don’t even have a dollar to spare. Finding a best friend who is down to do fun, free stuff with you is essential. You can’t rely on the number in your bank account to secure fun, lasting friendships. If you did, you’d be broke before you could say “let’s get friendship bracelets.”
Helene has been my best friend regardless of my monetary situation. When I went through a rough patch financially (TBT to that time I was laid off without an emergency fund), I remember Helene had a trip booked to visit me. I warned her the trip might not live up to her expectations, and that I couldn’t indulge in any grand plans. She didn’t miss a beat, and was the furthest thing from deterred.
Regardless of my dire financial state, we ended up having the best time, because you can’t put a price tag on a friendship like ours. And that’s important.
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Thank you for … investing in me.
We’ve all invested time and money into the things we truly care about, like a fabulous wardrobe or a dream vacation. But sometimes, the best investments are spent on the people we love.
I can rattle off a list of times that Helene invested her own money into our friendship.
When we were younger and lived a bike ride away, our friendship didn’t cost much. In high school, she would chip in gas money when I would pick her up for school in the mornings, and I spent a little bit of money to throw her an (epic) surprise party, but other than that, the cost of our BFF status was minimal.
And then, as time marched on and our dreams started to pull us in different directions, the logistics of our friendship took a little bit more planning, effort and money. Still, Helene invested in our friendship. She made a 6-hour road trip to visit me in college and forked over cash for flights and trains to visit me in New York.
When we do spend money in order to keep our friendship thriving, we do so on a budget.
We understand how much each of us can realistically spend, and never pressure each other to overspend. It takes communication, respect for each other’s financial situation and a little bit of flexibility. That way, we can both invest in the friendship without going broke.
Find your Helene, and cash in on a good friendship.