Don’t get the wrong idea about all those millennials still living at home
The number of millennials living at home with their parents has been a hot topic of discussion lately. A recent analysis from Pew Research Center found that for the first time since at least 1880, more young adults are living with their parents than with a spouse or significant other. Once Pew’s report was published, it didn’t take long for trolls to take to Twitter, eager to bash my generation for (yet another) character flaw.
Detractors have labeled millennials as lazy, spoiled, coddled and entitled. The percentage of us still dwelling in our parents’ basements and the like — 32%, according to Pew — isn’t helping our cause, either. But I can give you plenty of evidence that the stereotype of the slacker millennial, mooching off Mom and Dad for free food and rent, couldn’t be further from the truth.
Inaccurate stereotypes
I grew up in a middle-class suburb of Chicago, and the majority of my friends graduated from four-year colleges and universities. While a good number of them are now squeezed into small city apartments, living independently, many others are back in their childhood bedrooms, struggling to build financial security amid mounting student debt.
Take my good friend Jacob, for example. He’s 24 and graduated with a journalism degree from a four-year public university. Every day he heads to his job in the heart of Chicago. Once the workday is over he treks back home to his parents’ house in the suburbs.
“I moved back home in May 2014 after I graduated from college,” Jacob says. “Moving home was supposed to be a temporary safety net for me to fall back on while I looked for jobs. And that was true, up until my student loan grace period ended.”
Jacob’s monthly student loan payments were $600 more than his monthly salary at his first job, which made living on his own financially impossible. He worked hard and saved his money, vowing to move out. But he was hit with one of life’s curveballs and was laid off eight months into his first job. He eventually did land a new job, but he was back to square one in terms of savings.
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Living at home called ‘strategic’
“I definitely feel as though I am still a child,” Jacob confided in me. “There’s a lot of negative association with living at home — like I’m some loser who is too afraid to leave the nest, which is not me at all. I tasted freedom when I went away to school for four years on my own and I loved every bit of it and I want to be on my own. But at this stage, with the money I’m making and the amount of debt I have, I need to be more strategic in how I plan.”
Then there’s my friend Kelly. She’s also a 24 year-old college graduate living with her parents in a Chicago suburb. She holds two jobs, and is chipping away at her student loan payments, which drain most of her take-home pay at times. She helps contribute financially to her parents’ house when needed, and is questioning her original plan to move out in September.
“The job market is extremely difficult, and we are buried under student loans. I feel like we barely have a chance,” says Kelly. “Our parents see how much we’re struggling, and they want to help us because they didn’t have it like this. My student loans scare the crap out of my parents because they just see that I’m buried under it and not making any real money to enable me to pay it off.”
Knowing that they are not alone
Most millennials I’ve talked with who still live at home with their parents are far from embarrassed. They spoke about their situations openly, honestly and without disdain. Comfort came from knowing their situation was far from abnormal.
My good friend Tori graduated from a four-year university in 2015, then moved back to her parents’ house in a St. Louis suburb and is still there. She has a full-time job, and actually enjoys living at home. She decided on the arrangement to build up her savings account, and she plans to move out later this year.
“I think that our generation is living at home more than other generations because it has become more culturally accepted,” Tori says. “A lot of people that I know live at home. I think that a lot of millennials’ first jobs are not their dream jobs and they want to make sure they have some job security before moving out on their own.”
Feeling pride, not shame
Maggie, another friend, is a 23-year-old college graduate who moved back home to save money. She, too, feels comforted by the number of millennials in the same boat.
“Of all the kids I grew up with in my neighborhood, I think the majority of us went away to college and are now back home,” Maggie says. “It seems like our parents are starting or trying to understand that times are a lot different than they were when their generation was first entering the workforce. So, hopefully the stigma on our generation is lessening.”
She’s right. The disgrace associated with living at home is starting to diminish with millennials, and the undesirable stereotype of the young adult living at home that is prominent in movies and TV shows is simply outdated, inaccurate and demeaning.
Pew’s report acknowledges a tight labor market, high housing costs in many cities, and the fact that many millennials are saddled with crushing student loan debt. The fact that many millennials are delaying their independence to ensure financial stability is actually admirable and savvy.
“Overall, I feel hopeful and proud of myself for making this sacrifice to save money towards my long-term goals,” Maggie says.
