7 Things Your Financial Planner Says When He’s Bad

Brian Sack

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Banterist

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1 min read

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Nov 1, 2016

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“The numbers looked more bigger the last time I looked at the paper with all the numbers on it.”

“Frankly, I expected a better return from scratch tickets.”

“I misunderstood what you meant by ‘nest egg’ which is why your portfolio is a chicken named Boswell.”

“Ideally you want 70% in stocks, 30% in bonds and 40% in equities. ”

“To be honest, I was certain the Rapture was coming so I haven’t paid a lot of attention to your IRA.”

“You are going to worship me when this Nigerian Prince thing finally pays off.”

“I closed out all your positions, like the Ouija board said to.”